I started getting tattoed in the days it was still taboo... Nasty little shops, mostly biker types, flash all over the walls to pick your pieces from, "Custom work" was till something people didn't really talk about, and was not common place in the tattoo world.One went through sheets and sheets of flash art, and you selected from there. I find it funny this new era gets all twisted up and bent out of shape to see people with the same tattoos... In my days, we ALL had the same tattoos.
Shops were not like what you see now. Biker types, cigarette smoke filled studios, huge autoclaves, the smell of the green antisceptic and speedstick. The images were traced onto carbon paper, then you were swabbed with speedstick deodorant, the carbon image was placed over the area, stuck to the speedstick area, and then peeled off. There were no new barrels or needles, everything was reused after autoclaving, and the best tip one could get was
"Do not go to a shop without an autoclave visible"
The tattoos were really basic, colors were not so popular, and exposed tattoos were only for thugs, bikers and ex-cons. Face tattoos were ghastly, and people with sleeves, you avoided. Neck tattoos and leg tattoos were left for the freak shows...No one did that!!
Now, people state they get tattooed for therapy, to ease their minds or souls... Me?? It still just hurts and I cant wait to get the session ended!
I always knew I wanted to have tattoos, so I followed the proper order. I got flashwork done...My first tattoo, I guess, WAS a custom piece....My first tattoo was on my chest, and was Opus from Bloom County Cartoon....Yeah, I was a tough guy!!
Over the next 10 years, from 18 years old, I acquired 3 flash pieces. They were pretty horrible, really.
I always knew I wanted to be heavily tattooed, but again, they were very criticized, and from my struggles as a youth, I didn't need anything else to hinder me from professional pursuits, so my tattoo work was always covered.
After a career in Law Enforcement, and then leaving it to a life that was much less restrictive, I re-thought my tattoo pursuits.
In 03, I decided to really start getting serious about seeking out an artist and getting a large piece done. I knew I was still on a professional journey, tattoos were still not "trendy" so I decided to do my right chest, back and 1/3 upper sleeve.
My desire was to have a lot of color and to be outside of the norms of what most people do. After leaving the field of Law Enforcement, I started to see the world OUTSIDE of that field was much different than I remembered. I felt like maybe I just didn't fit in that world... In all reality, I still don't!
In my life as a cop, I had to have different personalities and different approaches to people. I had to be able to speak to, as well as make victims at ease, I needed to be soft and kind. I also needed to be very strong, intimidating, powerful, violent and dangerous. I was pretty well skilled at both; and not afraid of any of it.
I decided to go with a rainforest scene for my right side, and here is why, and how it relates to me personally.
The rainforest is diminishing, has been for many years, I wanted to capture the beauty of it. There is also a LOT of very dangerous beauty and color in the rainforest. I thought this theme would be a good direction.
My right arm is representative of the fading life we live, it diminishes every day. It is also representative of how I view myself. Clearly, my way of doing Law Enforcement is fading, morals and values seem to be fading in society as well. Without trying to sound arrogant or full of myself, this is why I went this route.
Like the rainforest, and the creatures that live in it, I have a very deep beauty inside of me. I care for people, I care for those I love, and I feel I posses qualities that many don't and that are fading....Loyalty, honor, respect, commitment... I think those are things that are profound in who I am.
Also like the rainforest and the creatures that live in it, I can be very dangerous, I have been in, and am not afraid of, true violence. I can be dangerous and I can be deceptive in those dangerous qualities. However, if only observed, and not harassed, that beauty is witnessed, and the danger will never have to be exposed.
I felt this would be well represented in this process, and I wasn't mistaken. Rachel from True Blue Tattoo in Austin Texas did a great job!
I stopped after this as I was finishing college and knew my professional pursuits were really just starting again. Being tattoos were still criticized and heavily judged, I kept my ink work where it would not be seen in professional attire, but always knew I would continue on with this journey later.
In 2014, I had been debating getting a ring done for my Masonic pride, and representation, and I had Donna draw up an idea I wanted. I am a Harley enthusiast, and a VERY Proud Mason, so I had the two symbols combined and had Donnas design put on my left calf. It had been a long time since I was back under the gun, and this stirred me to pursue an artist to complete my right arm.
I learned through my flash experiences, I would never just walk into a shop with some idea again and just let any artist do it. I had seen far too many pieces done that were horrific tattoos and I knew I wanted every flash piece I had covered, and I wanted to continue with quality work, so I went back on the hunt. I was still concerned with having an entire arm done, and then I was fortunate to work with a woman who was heavily tattooed, and in a position of professional authority and when talking about her exposed ink, she made a statement to me...
"Brad, my tattoos are a representation of me. If I am going to be judged by my appearance, and not for my ability to do the job, I don't want to work for a place like that anyway."
This really struck me! How had I not thought of this?
I always knew I wanted to have tattoos, so I followed the proper order. I got flashwork done...My first tattoo, I guess, WAS a custom piece....My first tattoo was on my chest, and was Opus from Bloom County Cartoon....Yeah, I was a tough guy!!
Over the next 10 years, from 18 years old, I acquired 3 flash pieces. They were pretty horrible, really.
I always knew I wanted to be heavily tattooed, but again, they were very criticized, and from my struggles as a youth, I didn't need anything else to hinder me from professional pursuits, so my tattoo work was always covered.
After a career in Law Enforcement, and then leaving it to a life that was much less restrictive, I re-thought my tattoo pursuits.
In 03, I decided to really start getting serious about seeking out an artist and getting a large piece done. I knew I was still on a professional journey, tattoos were still not "trendy" so I decided to do my right chest, back and 1/3 upper sleeve.
My desire was to have a lot of color and to be outside of the norms of what most people do. After leaving the field of Law Enforcement, I started to see the world OUTSIDE of that field was much different than I remembered. I felt like maybe I just didn't fit in that world... In all reality, I still don't!
In my life as a cop, I had to have different personalities and different approaches to people. I had to be able to speak to, as well as make victims at ease, I needed to be soft and kind. I also needed to be very strong, intimidating, powerful, violent and dangerous. I was pretty well skilled at both; and not afraid of any of it.
I decided to go with a rainforest scene for my right side, and here is why, and how it relates to me personally.
The rainforest is diminishing, has been for many years, I wanted to capture the beauty of it. There is also a LOT of very dangerous beauty and color in the rainforest. I thought this theme would be a good direction.
My right arm is representative of the fading life we live, it diminishes every day. It is also representative of how I view myself. Clearly, my way of doing Law Enforcement is fading, morals and values seem to be fading in society as well. Without trying to sound arrogant or full of myself, this is why I went this route.
Like the rainforest, and the creatures that live in it, I have a very deep beauty inside of me. I care for people, I care for those I love, and I feel I posses qualities that many don't and that are fading....Loyalty, honor, respect, commitment... I think those are things that are profound in who I am.
Also like the rainforest and the creatures that live in it, I can be very dangerous, I have been in, and am not afraid of, true violence. I can be dangerous and I can be deceptive in those dangerous qualities. However, if only observed, and not harassed, that beauty is witnessed, and the danger will never have to be exposed.
I felt this would be well represented in this process, and I wasn't mistaken. Rachel from True Blue Tattoo in Austin Texas did a great job!
I stopped after this as I was finishing college and knew my professional pursuits were really just starting again. Being tattoos were still criticized and heavily judged, I kept my ink work where it would not be seen in professional attire, but always knew I would continue on with this journey later.
In 2014, I had been debating getting a ring done for my Masonic pride, and representation, and I had Donna draw up an idea I wanted. I am a Harley enthusiast, and a VERY Proud Mason, so I had the two symbols combined and had Donnas design put on my left calf. It had been a long time since I was back under the gun, and this stirred me to pursue an artist to complete my right arm.
I learned through my flash experiences, I would never just walk into a shop with some idea again and just let any artist do it. I had seen far too many pieces done that were horrific tattoos and I knew I wanted every flash piece I had covered, and I wanted to continue with quality work, so I went back on the hunt. I was still concerned with having an entire arm done, and then I was fortunate to work with a woman who was heavily tattooed, and in a position of professional authority and when talking about her exposed ink, she made a statement to me...
"Brad, my tattoos are a representation of me. If I am going to be judged by my appearance, and not for my ability to do the job, I don't want to work for a place like that anyway."
This really struck me! How had I not thought of this?
(However, I really feel that professional and personal lives should be separate. I work for an agency that has no tattoo restrictions, but I keep my work covered. I have no desire to let professional and personal lives cross... It will come to no good end!)
Now, the hunt was on...
I stopped into several shops and made different inquiries. If you have not spent much time in tattoo shops, they can be intimidating to new folks. Me, I am not overly impressed by shops, or even amazing artistic ability. If you are a pompous, arrogant, prick, I will NOT pay you to do your work on me. I cant even tell you how many shops and artists I walked away from because of shitty attitudes.
I am not sure where the idea that because you are talented, you can treat those that pay you like shit. I look at it as I am representing the artist, and I will NOT represent assholes!
So, for 4 years, I was actively searching for an artist I could connect with. I was told about a shop in Pueblo, just briefly, so I went to look at the artists work.
Dexter, at Dr. Odds Tattoo was who I started to interact with, and I will say, I was skeptical.
I have YET to walk into a shop, show some artist a piece and tell them my idea and they say...
"No, that's not my style, I don't think I can create what you want"
Every artist has always said
"oh yeah, I can do that....I can make it amazing and can ________ ...……."
BULLSHIT!! Do NOT fall for that crap!
For those of you debating getting a tattoo, let me give you some tips...
1. Research your artist!! See their profile, read reviews, ask a lot of questions, assure that the artists style will compliment what you want. DO NOT just go to any shop and sit down...This is a sure fire way to get yourself stuck with some shit work for the rest of your life.
2. This is permanent (mostly), and will be on you for life.... HEAVILY CONSIDER THIS!!
3. Make sure your artist is focused on your happiness, not his ability to "go beyond" what you want. Leave those discussions for after you get to work. If an artist TELLS you what they are going to do, rather than asks you what you want, TAKE NOTICE!!
4. DONT HAGGLE prices. Good tattoos aren't cheap, and cheap tattoos aren't good. If you find an artist that is capable, and you click with, PAY....It will be worth it in the long run.
5. TIP YOUR ARTIST! If you are happy with the work, TIP!! 20% is a good measure to tip in the USA.
6. CLEANLINESS!! If a shop smells, an artist is dirty, if there are dogs and cats running around the shop....or ferrets, or parrots, or lamas...whatever.... leave quickly. A tattoo shop is for getting ink into your skin, not a petting zoo. It should be sanitary....the more OCD an artist is on cleanliness, the better; IMO anyway...
I spent about 3 months interacting with this artist. I showed him ideas, pics of my other work he would be adding to, and getting at ease with his ability. I looked through his portfolio, I read reviews on the shops page, I asked specific questions about placements, direction, etc...
I was VERY impressed this artist didn't go on, and on, and on about how amazing he was, about the complicated work he has done, about his AMAZING artistic ability....etc... As a matter of fact, his modesty about his ability had me concerned at first.
This artist answered my questions and was really focused on what I WANTED, not what he could do. After this 3 months, I made an appointment for 4-1-18, we were going to get this started...
In that timeframe, life took a downward spiral. Death surrounded me; both professionally, and personally.
In that timeframe, we lost our oldest daughter and I almost didn't make it to my first appointment because of all of the hardships taking place in my life. The night before I was to be there, I told Donna I had changed my mind. She asked why, and I explained....She encouraged me to move forward, so I did.
When I walked into Dr. Odds for the first time, I was a little taken back.
This shop was designed and filled with all kinds of cool stuff; oddities, collectables.... There was 30's big band music playing, artifacts and antiques scattered around, nice curtains, paint, welcoming décor....This was NOT what I was use to!
I was starting on my forearm, my first "exposed" tattoo, and I will tell you, I had some anxiety about it. This was about to change my "life experience" both personally as well as professionally. This was a big step for me.
This visit, was by far, the most strange and surreal experience I ever had in a tattoo shop (I blogged that experience because it was so profound; My Life Through Experience: New Tattoo...New experience... NEW LIFE!! (bjgolden1.blogspot.com)). I am going to say its because of the state of mind I was in at the time, because I have not been able to recreate that day. Even after such a profound experience, I was FLOORED with the quality of the work that was done. All of my anxieties were gone, and now I was ready to really get this sleeve done!
Now, the hunt was on...
I stopped into several shops and made different inquiries. If you have not spent much time in tattoo shops, they can be intimidating to new folks. Me, I am not overly impressed by shops, or even amazing artistic ability. If you are a pompous, arrogant, prick, I will NOT pay you to do your work on me. I cant even tell you how many shops and artists I walked away from because of shitty attitudes.
I am not sure where the idea that because you are talented, you can treat those that pay you like shit. I look at it as I am representing the artist, and I will NOT represent assholes!
So, for 4 years, I was actively searching for an artist I could connect with. I was told about a shop in Pueblo, just briefly, so I went to look at the artists work.
Dexter, at Dr. Odds Tattoo was who I started to interact with, and I will say, I was skeptical.
I have YET to walk into a shop, show some artist a piece and tell them my idea and they say...
"No, that's not my style, I don't think I can create what you want"
Every artist has always said
"oh yeah, I can do that....I can make it amazing and can ________ ...……."
BULLSHIT!! Do NOT fall for that crap!
For those of you debating getting a tattoo, let me give you some tips...
1. Research your artist!! See their profile, read reviews, ask a lot of questions, assure that the artists style will compliment what you want. DO NOT just go to any shop and sit down...This is a sure fire way to get yourself stuck with some shit work for the rest of your life.
2. This is permanent (mostly), and will be on you for life.... HEAVILY CONSIDER THIS!!
3. Make sure your artist is focused on your happiness, not his ability to "go beyond" what you want. Leave those discussions for after you get to work. If an artist TELLS you what they are going to do, rather than asks you what you want, TAKE NOTICE!!
4. DONT HAGGLE prices. Good tattoos aren't cheap, and cheap tattoos aren't good. If you find an artist that is capable, and you click with, PAY....It will be worth it in the long run.
5. TIP YOUR ARTIST! If you are happy with the work, TIP!! 20% is a good measure to tip in the USA.
6. CLEANLINESS!! If a shop smells, an artist is dirty, if there are dogs and cats running around the shop....or ferrets, or parrots, or lamas...whatever.... leave quickly. A tattoo shop is for getting ink into your skin, not a petting zoo. It should be sanitary....the more OCD an artist is on cleanliness, the better; IMO anyway...
I spent about 3 months interacting with this artist. I showed him ideas, pics of my other work he would be adding to, and getting at ease with his ability. I looked through his portfolio, I read reviews on the shops page, I asked specific questions about placements, direction, etc...
I was VERY impressed this artist didn't go on, and on, and on about how amazing he was, about the complicated work he has done, about his AMAZING artistic ability....etc... As a matter of fact, his modesty about his ability had me concerned at first.
This artist answered my questions and was really focused on what I WANTED, not what he could do. After this 3 months, I made an appointment for 4-1-18, we were going to get this started...
In that timeframe, life took a downward spiral. Death surrounded me; both professionally, and personally.
In that timeframe, we lost our oldest daughter and I almost didn't make it to my first appointment because of all of the hardships taking place in my life. The night before I was to be there, I told Donna I had changed my mind. She asked why, and I explained....She encouraged me to move forward, so I did.
When I walked into Dr. Odds for the first time, I was a little taken back.
This shop was designed and filled with all kinds of cool stuff; oddities, collectables.... There was 30's big band music playing, artifacts and antiques scattered around, nice curtains, paint, welcoming décor....This was NOT what I was use to!
I was starting on my forearm, my first "exposed" tattoo, and I will tell you, I had some anxiety about it. This was about to change my "life experience" both personally as well as professionally. This was a big step for me.
This visit, was by far, the most strange and surreal experience I ever had in a tattoo shop (I blogged that experience because it was so profound; My Life Through Experience: New Tattoo...New experience... NEW LIFE!! (bjgolden1.blogspot.com)). I am going to say its because of the state of mind I was in at the time, because I have not been able to recreate that day. Even after such a profound experience, I was FLOORED with the quality of the work that was done. All of my anxieties were gone, and now I was ready to really get this sleeve done!
Through this timeframe, I had some inner conversations with myself...A new realization of life, and death... a SHIFT in how I viewed, and took on the world. You will hear it said time and time again...
"Losing a child changes EVERYTHING"
And I can attest, this is a truth. EVERYTHING changes....Your perception of the world, the stories you have been told are a truth your whole life change in context, truth becomes untruth, and untruth becomes truth. In my experience, even the air, sky, light, trees, grass...They all looked, sounded and felt different. Religion and God?? Man, it all takes a different appearance. Its something very hard to explain, and I hope that none of you reading this ever have to have this experience.
About 2 sessions in, I decided that I was going to do like I always have...GO BIG, or GO HOME, and I went big.
I decided I wanted to do my left arm and side symmetrical to my right. I would take a different approach on this side.
I wanted to do an opposing sleeve, black and gray, hints of color just to make the design really pop out.
I read the story of the Chinese legend of the Koi Fish...
The Chinese legend tells of a large school of koi fish—shining like polished jewels—that made the long and difficult journey upstream against the current of the mighty Yellow River.
When they reached an imposing waterfall many of them resigned to simply return to the flow and went back the way they came. Some of the fish, however, were unfazed and attempted to leap up the cascading water to make it to the top.
One version of the legend says that some of the local deities, or demons, were drawn to the splashing. Seeing the determined efforts of the koi fish, and out of spite, cruelly made the waterfall even higher. It didn’t have the desired effect, though—and unperturbed—the koi redoubled their efforts to get to the top.
For 100 years the koi toiled against the odds, struggling, until finally a single koi crested the top of the waterfall to make it into the river above, overcoming the adversity.
The Gods who witnessed this colossal achievement rewarded the courageous fish for its perseverance by transforming the koi into a golden dragon. This dragon fish now traverses the skies above the river, constantly seeking pearls of wisdom and sharing the pearls with the world.
As a result, the waterfall became known as the Dragon Gate and any koi that summons the strength, courage and determination to swim against the tide and through the gates is bestowed the same honor as the original fish that overcame adversity.
I saw through these current struggles, that life is a never ending effort of struggle, and overcoming. That through each accomplishment, hardship, trial, there were lessons to be learned if one simply pays attention. At the end of each struggle, a person is gifted with knowledge and can share it with the world. The down swimming koi represents the release of going with the flow, success, surrender...
I also feel that in my professional pursuits, as well as personal pursuits, I have always been a stand for those who cant stand for themselves. I have fought on battlefields that many would fear to look at, let alone tread, and I have no fear in taking on those battles and representing those who cant fight, or don't know how. I wanted something to represent this....
So, I chose my Samurai…
Samurai are known as magnificent warriors, masterfully owning their swords and art of combat. In fact, this concept has a deeper meaning, based on the code of honor of the samurai, “Bushido”, which means the path of the warrior. To put an image of a Japanese warrior on your body means to fully understand, follow and honor the rules and traditions that the samurai lived by. In addition, a samurai tattoo symbolizes a man’s choice of the right path and infinite devotion to any idea. The meaning of samurai tattoo design is loyalty, honor and justice, strength and fearlessness, physical perfection, devotion and discipline. The tattoo is a symbol of masculinity as well.
Donna is, and has always been, by my side, loyal, committed and honorable. She has a huge heart and a mysterious side that many don't ever get to see. I wanted her to be represented in my sleeve as well, because this life would not be the way it is for me without her.
So I chose my Geisha...
When it comes to creative colorful body art in the human form, the Geisha. A symbol of beauty and mystery, wrapped in a vibrant colorful kimono, she is slender in build and wears white makeup and a black wig or extensions. The geisha represents feminine power, intrigue, and mystery. She is so specialized and refined that she is somewhat hidden from most of society: for most, she remains elusive, untouchable, and unattainable. It is said that she represents dreams, aspirations, ambitions, and desire. She is also referred to as a "figment of the imagination."
She's associated with the color red, a representation of fertility. Her kimono is of bright, vibrant colors. In paintings, art, and tattoos, she is commonly associated with cherry blossoms, which represent the fragility, beauty, and transience of life. They usually are portrayed on her kimono, or on branches in the background.
My Foo Dog... The foo dog (or fu dog) is a mysterious creature that takes roots in India in the 3rd
century. Now it is a historical heritage of Chinese and Japanese cultures. In reality, the mythical beasts are not dogs; they are a representation of lions. The foo dogs were depicted in the form of statues to guard both Shinto and Buddha temples and the houses of prominent nobles from evil. They appeared in male and female pairs on both sides of the entrance. The male has a ball under one paw – a sign of power, while the female has a small lion cub under one of its paws – a symbol of maternity. The foo dog’s traditional name is “Lion of Buddha” in Buddhism, “Shishi” in Japanese religion and “Shisa” in Okinawa. The foo dogs are believed to be strong, protective and courageous. Thus, tattoo serves as protectors and often denotes a brave person. It is rich in history and symbolism, so before taking this tattoo, take into account the meanings:
She's associated with the color red, a representation of fertility. Her kimono is of bright, vibrant colors. In paintings, art, and tattoos, she is commonly associated with cherry blossoms, which represent the fragility, beauty, and transience of life. They usually are portrayed on her kimono, or on branches in the background.
My Foo Dog... The foo dog (or fu dog) is a mysterious creature that takes roots in India in the 3rd
century. Now it is a historical heritage of Chinese and Japanese cultures. In reality, the mythical beasts are not dogs; they are a representation of lions. The foo dogs were depicted in the form of statues to guard both Shinto and Buddha temples and the houses of prominent nobles from evil. They appeared in male and female pairs on both sides of the entrance. The male has a ball under one paw – a sign of power, while the female has a small lion cub under one of its paws – a symbol of maternity. The foo dog’s traditional name is “Lion of Buddha” in Buddhism, “Shishi” in Japanese religion and “Shisa” in Okinawa. The foo dogs are believed to be strong, protective and courageous. Thus, tattoo serves as protectors and often denotes a brave person. It is rich in history and symbolism, so before taking this tattoo, take into account the meanings:
- protection – is the main symbol of the foo dog due to historical It is used to ward off evil spirits and problems;
- prosperity and success – the foo dog’s dominant stature and impressive mythical power can also embody success and prosperity;
- balance – the male and female pairs denote the yin and yang, which in Chinese philosophy indicates the balance of all things;
- courage – the foo dog is a fearless creature, willing to fight in case of This tattoo will remind that success comes through bravery and determination;
- survival – the foo dogs are often depicted in aggressive poses in tattoos, that shows their might and will to survive against all obstacles
I have the Chinese symbol for "Eternity" in the middle of it all, one for representation of my eternal bond to Donna, and to represent the eternal struggle of this life, one that never ends, one that we can be a victim to, or a champion of. The eternal struggle, and overcoming that is present in this physical world.
So, there is the significance of my tattoos. I went into this process this last year or so, excited....Now, over a year and a half into it, I am OVER it. It is truly exhausting to continuously pursue regular tattoo sessions of such magnitude.
I am not one of those tattoo people who say
"Oh, it didn't hurt at all"
For me, I cannot recall a tattoo without some kind of pain, and in the "tough spots", I genuinely suffer. I look forward to the end result, but I do NOT look forward to the process. Rachel, my artist in Austin said it best...
"I love tattoos, but I fucking HATE getting them."
And now I understand this statement. I do NOT enjoy "getting" tattooed.
When I am complete with this, I will have all of my old flash covered. I will have quality work that is beautiful, and brilliant. My HOPE is that I am done with this process. I do have a memorial tattoo I want to get on my right calf for my girls, but honestly, the only reason I REALLY want that is for the complete symmetry of work on my body. My upper body, at completion, will be "balanced", if I do my right calf, the rest will be "balanced" so I can see myself returning for that. But as far as big work, this will be it!
Here is my completed work... Thank God its over.
So, there it is... Let me add in closing...
Tattoos are NOT for everyone. It is a personal choice, for personal expression and gratification. If one chooses to go BIG with their tattoos, keep in mind that it is painful, a really BIG commitment that WILL affect the life you understand now. The healing is tedious, the thought and effort to make the piece perfect can be exhausting. Tattoos are expensive... I am over 6000.00 and about 65-70 hours total for my upper body.
And never think that I care about your personal opinion of my personal choices. I am tattooed because I SAY SO, and I didn't ask for, nor do I need your approval. To those critical, I hope your criticism makes you feel better about me....lol...
For those that support....Thank you. With every day I get older, the more I find people to be tiresome. To those of you that accept me for who I am, for what I am, and for ME, I am grateful and humbled... I truly do appreciate you in my life, regardless of the time, or space that separates us.
And for my haters??? Well, I will just let your mind wander about my thoughts to you.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for the interest in this blog...
