I felt the need to tell this story as it is one of true passion and inspiration. I am telling it from my viewpoint with help from friends and Cliff himself. I will try to keep this as accurate as possible but am only able to give a true account from my perception....Which is INCREDIBLE!
As many of you know from either following my Blog or being a part of my life, I search for inspiration. I work hard to avoid negativity and and even though it finds me on a regular basis, I generally look for the positive in the situation so that I can carry myself (and others) through difficult times. In tha last year or so, I have been moved with inspiration time and time again from an old friend I have been able to re-connect with.
Cliff Barvoets and I met at the Holy Cross Abbey. Some of you may have read that story and my mentioning of Cliff in those Blogs. Well as friends do, we became very close for a short period of our teen years and then we just went on our separate paths.
Before coming back to Colorado, the last time I saw Cliff was at a party on the West Side of Colorado Springs and he was living down the street from me in Manitou in a small efficency cabin with a beautiful red headed girl named Kim. This was in the Fall of probably 1987/88
Cliff was always the guy everyone liked. He had a personality that was like a magnet and would just draw you to him. He had long blonde hair, big ole full lips and a smile that just made the girls light headed… Cliff, for all of the time I knew him, was a caring, passionate, loving person who truly enjoyed living the wilder side of life. He found his passion in mechanical work, pratying, art and music.... Not necissarily in that order! He also found his passion in living life the way he wanted to live it…
I left Colorado in 1989 and moved to Texas. Cliff and I didnt talk for many years. Through the grapvine, I heard about cliff and followed him through old friends and familiy members. We tried to re-connect a couple of times over the years but we were living completely seperate and different lives and it just never worked out. I was able to talk to Ciff one time on the phone in 1994-95 and after that, we had not spoken at all.
It was around 2009 when I got a call from my sister and she had said she had run into Cliff at the Ren-Fest and spoke to him about me and got his phone number. She gave it to me and told me that Cliff would love to hear from me. I am not sure why I didnt call, I just figured maybe, like many friends in our lives, Cliff was on his journey, I was on mine and to re-connect at that time just didnt seem like it was that important.
Then the magic of FaceBook happened!!
I was able to re-connect with MANY people from my youth and as I browsed through various pictures, i would come across random shots of Cliff playing music, out at the bars with folks, old pics from when we were kids and I was able to play catch up with Cliff through mutual friends. It warmed my heart to see him doing well and still the great person I always knew him as a youth.
Eventually, Cliff joined the craze and we re-connected on FaceBook. It was so nice to play the little catch up that we did. Then in Decemeber, 2011, I went back to Colorado for Christmas and had a FaceBook reunion with a bunch of people from my past. As I heard it, Cliff was coming and I was excited to see him again.
That night, many people showed up but Cliff didnt make it out. A mutual friend Jason got in touch with him, gave him my number, and the next day Cliff called me and apologized for not making it out. We spoke on the phone for 30-45 minutes, played catch up, told of each others lives a little and vowed to see each other the next time I made it out to Colorado.
I went back to Texas and Cliff and I stayed in touch through FaceBook and were very casual in out connection...It was a typical FaceBook type of communication. Nothing intimate, nothing significant, just a way to keep up with each other.
I am not sure when it all happened, but one night (I think it was in like Feb or March 2012), while on FaceBook, I saw a message from an old friend Andrea who was posting something about Cliff going into the hospital and was in pretty bad shape. I called Andrea immediately to ask her what was going on and she explained that she didnt know the details but cliff was going in the hospital and it was NOT good. She said she didnt have a way to contact Cliff but i still had his number from Christmas time so I called him.
Cliff answered the phone and he sounded like he was ok. He went on to explain that over the last couple of months, he was experiencing a LOT of pain and was losing mobility in his arms and legs. He said that the night he went to the hospital, his body had pretty much frozen up, he was completely incapaciated and no one had any CLUE as to what was wrong with him. He expressed to me that he was scared and concerned and that he had hope that the Doctors would find out what was going on with him.
Having worked with people in similar situations and knowing the amount of people that were probably flocking to Cliffs side, I didnt take much of his time on the phone, told him I was concerned and would follow his progress and we hung up.
Over the next month or so, I called cliff and left him messages to let him know I was thinking about him and was trying to stay informed through the network of friends. All I knew was it was bad, noo one knew what it was, the Doctors were clueless, Cliff was getting worse and was not leaving the Hospital anytime soon.
As I recall, there was one or two more calls that Cliff and I spoke on the phone, but he was pretty drugged up, in pain and out calls were really limited. It had been a LONG time since I had seen Cliff but as most of you know, I carry good experiences with me forever...i attach myself to those and Cliff was still, in my mind and heart, that GREAT friend I had when I was a kid. I was genuinely concerned.
About that time, my wife and I made the decision to move back to Colorado. I wont go into that much here as I have covered that at length in other Blogs. However, when I did come back, one of the first things I wanted to do was go see Cliff. I knew he was overwhelmed at the Hospital and heard he was coming home soon so i waited paitently.
The week that I moved back to Colorado in July, there was a gathering that was taking place in Security Colorado with an organization called BUFA that was voting on a philanthropic donation to someone in need and there was going to be a vote at the American Legion Hall to see who would get the money. There was a huge movement to get people out to the event because the votes would determine the recipient. I and ALL of my family packed up and went to cast our vote for Cliff.
Up to this point, I had only heard about Cliffs wife Ali and can honestly say, EVERY SINGLE THING i heard about this woman was uplifting and positive...There wa snot one negative thing I EVER heard about this woman....It wouldnt be long before I found out why!
I rode my Harley down to the event and as I got off my bike, i saw a girl I recognized from Cliffs pictures getting out of a vehicle. I walked up to her, asked her if she was Ali and she looked at me, smiled and said "Yes."
I explained to her who I was and she said ...
"Brad?? From Texas?? and the Abbey??"
I said...
"The one and only!"
And she reached out and hugged me, thanked me for being at the event and we exchanged short plesantries. A very endearing and warm woman who immediately I could tell was a warm and special person....Ali is an amazing woman that is full of love and genuine caring and you can tell that from the first time you meet her. She is one of a kind for sure!
The meeting went good, Cliff was going to get a large percentage of these proceeds from the Poker Run they were going to have and I went to see Ali, tell her goodbye and explained I would see her at the run. I still had not seen Cliff at this time but understood that he was now home and Ali said that i should come by and see him. I told her I was in the process of moving but as soon as I could, i would be by to visit.
About a week before the Poker Run, i stopped by Cliffs house to visit with him....
Let me tell you... I have seen some pretty sick people in my life. I have seen people in all stages of illness and on their way to that final breath. Whne I walked in Cliffs house and saw him lying in his bed, looking like a Holocaust survivor, I was absolutely SHOCKED! (and I dont get shocked often)
Cliff looked like a skelaton with skin on it. He had a catheder hanging out from under his blankets, he could not rotate his head, lift his arms, barely move his legs... He had a lazy right eye that he couldnt see out of and I had to get close to him and in front of him for him to see me.
I put on my best poker face and gave him a handshake and a hug and sat down to talk to him a little. This was the first time I had actually seen Cliff in person since that party in the 80's and I FOUGHT to hold back the emotion. It was clear, Cliff was a VERY sick man.
He had lost so much weight. His arms were the size orf an adolesant youths, his legs were worse, his feet were curled in on themselves and bowed to such an awkward position that I cant even explain it with words. He was drugged up pretty good and I was scared to hug him because I thought I might hurt him.
I was so uncomfortable being there... I guess it was the shock of it all and I just wanted to get out of that house. I didnt stay long...Cliff was really sick, would get so worn out so fast and it wasnt long before Cliff just couldnt handle the company anymore. I was not prepared for this!
Cliff didnt have any insurance, he was attaining HUGE medical expenses, he was struggling with his incapacitation and overall, the scene, the time and my old friend were not doing well at all.
Ali was not at the house this day and I found out she was with her Mother that day. I also found out that Cliff and Ali's Mom were in the same hospital at the same time and Ali's Mom had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and was reaching the final stage of her life... I was just overwhelmed with emotion...
As I left the house, I recall sitting in my truck and fighting back the tears in all of this. The shock of seeing Cliff was hitting me, but not only that, the realization of what was going on with Ali, her mom, their expenses, the furture for them (based on my perception) seemed so bleak and grimm.... Then came the guilt...
Here I am, struggling with trying to make this life happen in Colorado, being seperated from my wife while we tried to get things established here, feeling sorry for myself and MY crap going on and then seeing how MINISCULE it was compared to my old friend.... As I have said before, there are NO accidents in this world!
As I drove home, it occured to me that I didnt have the funds to help Cliff and Ali financially, but I wanted to help ANY other way I could... I was determined to do what i could to help them...Whatever that looked like.
I will honestly say that when i left Cliffs that day, I had a grimm feeling about what lied ahead in his future. Seeing Cliffs condition and working with sick people before, I just didnt see that it would be possible for Cliff to pull through this.... It just didnt seem feesable!
Cliff was improving slowly and was able to get out of the bed and into his chair to make it out for the Poker Run and his benefit. It was a magnificent day for a ride!
We started off at a location in Colorado Springs and I was able to see Cliff before we took off for the ride itself. He looked good (better) seemed to be in good spirits but it was clear, he was still a VERY sick man! But man, what a fucking trooper!!
We rode from Colorado Springs to a little mountain town just up the pass called Crystola and an old bar i was familiar with. The turnout for Cliff was INSPIRATIONAL... I dont know how many riders there were that day, but it had to be close to 1000 all together. Poker runs arent really specific in times, places and such. there is a route and a plan, but it is up to the riders or groups to get to the different locations in the appropriate amount of time.
I was fortunate enought o ride with some of Cliffs people and after Crystola, we went to the Black Forrest and (whooda thunk it) another bar I was familiar with from my younger days. Here i ran into quite a few old friends and aquaintances...Many who I could not connect with Cliff from our days together only to find out they had met Cliff years after our time together at bars and clubs where he played music and the multitude of parties Cliff either threw or was at... It was crazy to see some of these people I had not seen since High School!
Cliff made it to this bar and the one in Crystola. I caught up with him at this bar and we chatted it up a bit. It was clear that he wasnt going to make all the stops but I had a poker hand to go get so I took off and made the rest of the stops. I didnt see cliff again that day but will remember it forever. One hell of a great day to ride and it was such a great turnout.
Not long after the run, I went by to see Cliff. Cliff and I spoke about the run and the turnout and you could see that even though he was suffering still, he had been uplifted buy the support that he saw that day. Man, this dude is TRULY blessed!
I told Cliff and Ali that I wanted to do what i could to help. I knew Cliff was dependant on others for his care and knew Ali HAD to be getting exhausted with all of this...As a matter of fact, there were many times that I could not even imagine what Ali must be going through with all of this.
When I said I wanted to help, Ali immediately said "will you walk my dogs for me?" and there was no hesitation..."where are the leashes?"
I took their Husky and Chow out for a walk on the greenways of the neighborhood theu lived in and called Donna. I told her what was going on and made the decision right then that I was going to make sure I made myself as available as I could to them both to help them through all of this.
When I got back to the house, I sat down with Ali and Cliff and explained to them that I knew how hard this must be, how I really wanted to help, and if they needed me at the house at ANY time, I was only 10 minutes away. At that time, all of my freetime was spent looking for jobs and applying for thm but i was doing it on my computer and could easily do it from their house as easily as I could from mine.
It started off like that....Ali never called, cliff never called, and I just would stop by at random times to offer support. Ali said that it was better to come by around 5:00-7:00pm because this was when she and Cliff needed the most help. I would stop by here and there and walk the dogs, wash the dishes, get Cliff out of the bed and outside a little, pick up stuff rom the store...Just errands.
I didnt see Cliff getting much better and was still very concerned with his and Ali's well being. There were taking on A LOT of stuff and I felt helpless as to what I could do, but i still wanted to help.
One night my phone rings and it was a friend of Cliff's that I had heard of but never met, Triton...
"Hi Brad, this is Triton. Ali said that you had told them you wanted to help out with Cliffs care?"
"Absolutely I do!"
"Well, Ali needs a break and we were wondering if you would come stay a night with Cliff?"
"You bet I will, just say when."
How about Thrusday from noon or so until Friday morning when his CNA comes?"
"I will be there! Do I need to cook or do anything special?"
"No, we have food set up, we just need someone there to help Cliff with any essential needs he might have...You can do that?"
"You bet I can....Tell Cliff I will see him Thursday!"
And this kind of started the re-connection between Cliff and I... A journey I had NO IDEA at the time would turn into something so special!
I showed up at Cliffs that Thursday with a small bag of bath stuff and comfy clothes. I had no idea what to expect so I went with no expectations... WHATEVER Cliff needed, i would make sure he got it.
It was a cool first night. Cliff and I played catch up and I heard about his daughter, his grandbaby, the life he lived from our time together until now, old friends, parties, wild ass times, vacations, family, dogs, my wild ride as a cop, our wives, our loves, our dreams....It was a REALLY cool night with Cliff. As a matter of fact, it was like time had stood still from when we parted ways in regards to our old friendship. This was our first sleepover together since we were 15-16 years old!
It was here that things started to get tough fro both Cliff and I. He and Ali were starting to bicker at each other and apparently not saying nice things to each other and it just wasnt going well. Money, of course was a huge issue, the medical bills and proceedures were lingering out there, Doctors were telling Cliff he probably wouldnt walk again, Their homecare was going to be coming to an end, they couldnt get any kind of assistance because of their belongings, Cliff was basically confined to one level of his house (a 4 story house) and that damn hospital bed, the future, as far as his care, was completely uncertain, Ali's mom was getting worse and she was managing that as well as Cliffs struggles, bills were piling up... It was TOUGH!
I was unable to find a job, was living with my parents, my wife was still in Texas, I was extinguishing all me leads for work and my money was limited, I felt very alone being away from Donna and pretty worthless because I couldnt find a damn job.... We were quite the pair!
Cliff still needed help, I didnt have shit to do, so Thursday nights and various random days, i spent with Cliff either camped out with him watching TV or getting him to his Chiropractor or just hanging out and talking. For about 6 weeks, Cliff and I were together one day and night and then random stops in to see how he was doing.
The second week I came to stay with Cliff on my Thursday night, Cliff was in a pretty dark spot. I showed up, he was home alone, he was in his chair, and I could just FEEL his sadness. I sat down and asked him what was going on...
"man, this has been a tough week Brad... i ma not sure I can do this man! Ali and I are at each others throats, I cant get the help I need, I am scared about this surgery that is supposed to come up, they are talking about cutting my achilies tendons, I have had thoughts about ending it all and the other day when Ali was gone, i just lost it! I was running my chair into the walls, was so sad, didnt want to keep going....Its been a really rough week!"
This night was tough for both of us. I was struggling with my shit, the darkness of Cliffs shit was looking over me, we were feeding off each others sadness, and I went and got a bottle!
We had Dinner with Cliffs old friend Mark and I started drinking. I dont remember much of the night but when I woke up, Cliff went on to tell me how I was stumbling around, couldnt make a sentance, couldnt understand what he was trying to tell me to do and I just SUNK deeper... I could not believe that I was so selfish. I was there for Cliff and let my own shit get the best of me and in turn, could have really fucked up had Cliff really needed me.
I swore allegience to Cliff, I told him this would never happen again and apologized over and over. I felt like sucha piece of shit and felt like I had let my old friend down. How could I have done such a thing when a friend needed me so much?
Cliff was understanding and accepting of my apology and we continued with our weekly sleepovers. Cliff and I both seemed to have a wake up experience. The next week I showed up at his house, cliff had rigged a rope and some sticks so he could do sit ups in his bed. He had rubber hoses above his bed for working his arms. He had cut back on some of his meds and he was looking better.
Cliffs eyes were tracking, he was getting better olr, better mobility, hell, he was even getting a little pudge on his belly. He was streatching better and was overall just "better" it was not anything that was "spectacular" but he was showin improvement.
This night I had an experience with Cliff that really shocked me.
Mark came over that night with dinner and we all hung out like we usually did and Cliff said "Hey, you guys think you could stretch my feet out and get them in my boots??"
Shit, Mark is 6'2" or so, 190lbs or so, I am 5"11" and 225lbs, this will be easy!
Mark and I started trying to stretch Cliffs feet out and he and I, together, for 30 minutes or so, worked on Cliffs feet to try and get them in that brace/boot. We were both sweating and straining to get Cliffs foot to straighten out...there were moments that I thought his ankles would break if we tried any harder. After 30 minutes, these two grown men had to give up and succumbed to Cliffs foot. I COULD NOT BELIEVE THIS!!
Now let me try to explain the condition Cliff was in at this time. Cliff was basically bed ridden. He had to do EVERYTHING in this bed from bathing to eating and everything in between. Cliff could use his right arm to pull himself up in the bed but only a couple of inches. If he needed to get any further up in the bed, someone had to get behind him and pull under his arms to SLIDE him up the bed. His feet were so bowed that it looked like at any moment his knuckles of his toes were going to bust through his skin. His feet were fixed in what i can only call a "ballerina pose" with his feet pointing straight down. His legs are absent of ANY muscle and somewhat bowed. He could not bend his knees. Cliff could lift his legs about 2-3" off the bed, but that was it. He had double vision that was really bad, often he would have to close one eye to see. He could not turn his neck more than a couple of inches, his left arm was stiff and could only move with limited motion and not even CLOSE to over his head. he had the catheder out but had to struggle to urinate in a portable urinal. He basically had to stay naked and with fans blowing on him because he would get so hot and would constantly sweat. He was taking (what i recall) about 20-30 pills a day, he was sensetive to the light from outside so his blinds were closed most of the time. Friends gave him a projection screen and a projector so he could watch TV and see it. Oter than using the remote control, eating food, drinking liquids, Cliff was completely reliant on others for everything. He couldnt see his phone very well so texting was out of the question, he couldnt turn his head so if something was moved just an inch or two one way or the other, he couldnt see it and would misplace things just inches from him all the time. he could not get in or out of his chair without help... I tell ya, at times, it was overwhelmingly sad to see this happening. It was only 8-9 months prior to this that we were talking on the phone and he was in good health...
But, Cliff NEVER said anything about this being like this forever. Cliff would ALWAYS say things like "I lok forward to when we can ride together" and "When I start walking again...... " and "When I get back to my artwork" and "When I get back to work" and When I can ski again, we will have to go"
Cliff NEVER spoke about anything but POSSIBILITIES and to him, it wasnt about possibility, it was about NO SHIT, ITS GUNNA HAPPEN!
Once again, Honestly, I would nod my head and say "Thats the spirit Cliff, keep up the good work man" but woudl walk away after seeing him in this condition and weep because I didnt think it was possible.
Cliff and I, for the next 6 weeks or so, we spent at least every Thursday night together. Then because of applications, interviews, etc.... we missed a few weeks here and there. I was finally offered a job in Glenwood Springs and started to work on getting Donna up here and us relocated to Glenwood. I stayed in contact with Cliff but got so busy, I couldnt dedicate the time I had before to helping. I did stop in now and then and visit he and Ali but it was starting to be less and less that I got by there. I followed him through FaceBook and would call him when I would see things pop up that worried me or excited me... Then came the Baclofen Pump.
Cliff was told by his Doctors that he needed to have a baclofen pump put inside his body. I will try to explain this as well as I can by my understanding....
This is a pump that was going to be inserted under his ribcage on his right side. There are tubes that run off the pump and go up and down his spinal cord. The idea is that this pump with provide the needed medicine to the areas of his body that the stiffness occurs and loosen up his joints.
We had talked about this pump in our nights together and Cliff was concerned...He dis NOT want Doctors cutting on him but he was excited about what he was told the results would be.
A few weeks passed and Cliff had a birthday party at Old Chicagos. I made sure I went and raised a glass with his other friends and he was looking pretty good. Cliff was getting stronger. He was able to get in and out of bed on his own, in and out of the car on his own, hell, he was even helping wash dishes around the house. His legs were still fucked but his upper body was getting stronger every day. It was GREAT to see the turnout for Cliff and the Colorado Springs Fire department even showed up in their pumper for him.
The overwhelming and lasting support from friends was something that made me smile regularly. I told Cliff time and time again that he was TRULY blessed with this kind of commitment from people. THIS shows you the kind of people he and Ali are. The friends NEVER stopped showing up for Cliff and Ali. In my time working with people, I have never seen an outpouring of support like this. again, TRULY INSPIRATIONAL!
I was pretty busy at this time and Cliff went to Denver for the surgery. I called him while he was up in Denver but he was in so much pain, he just could not talk on the phone. I told him i would see him when he got home.
When he did get home, i got concerned again because He was in so much pain. As a amtter of fact, I was going to go see him one night and he had to cancel because he was suffering so badly. I told him that I would make it another time and that he should jst rest.
About 3-4 days went by and I called to see if he was ready for visitors. I worked that day (trained) at the office in Colorado Springs and went by after work. Now I had not seen Cliff in 2-3 weeks and it had been about a week and a half since he got back from Denver and this surgery.
I walked up to the house and through the window, i could see Cliff laying in bed. I knocked on the door and just walked in as I usually do and when I closed the door and got Kona (his husky) off of me, i looked up and cliffs head was turned where he looked at me over his shoulder.... I had not seen his neck with this much mobility since we started to spend time together... I was STUNNED! As little as this sounds, it was TOTALLY out of character to what I was use to. I immediately said...
"Holy shit Bro, thats amazing!"
I walked over to shake his hand and when he looked at me, he looked at me with both eyes, tracking clearly and nothing lazy in his right eye....i damn near choked with emotion.
Ali was sitting on the couch and I went and gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek and she just looked exhausted. You could tell it had been a long couple of weeks! But, as always, she smiled, bublled a sweet hello to me and I went and sat on the couch in front of Cliff and asked him how he was doing.
Ali said...
"Show him babe!"
And then MAGIC happened!!
Cliff pulled the blankets off his legs and lifted them up in the air and did a little ballerina shuffle with his legs, bending them, lifting them effortlesly, like a ballerina dancing on clouds!
My jaw DROPPED....remember, jst a few weeks ago I was fighting those legs with cliff to get them stretched and now it looked like Cliff could peddal a damn bike if we could get him on the seat!
I choked, couyghed and started to cry! I could not believe what I was seeing!! I was utterly speechless!! What the hell could I say!?
Cliff saw this in me and giggled at me, smiled like the fucking Chessire cat and I almost yelled....
"RIGHT THE FUCK ON!"
I told him....
"Cliff, this is AMAZING man, absolutely amazing! I am floored by this change...You can see me better, you can move your legs, your arms are moving better...Oh my God man, this is incredible!"
Cliff giggled at me again and we sat and talked about everything. he showed me the scar and the pump and I was like a little kid, I was so excited for him! Although I was ALWAYS pulling for him, I never thought I would see this! I tell ya, from that VERY moment, I KNEW Cliff was going to beat this man... I just knew it....It was like a slap in my face!
So we chatted for a while, talked about what was next for him (which he was concerned about) and he told me that down the road a little bit, once they get things with the pump settled in, they wanted to cut his achelise tendons in his fet to try and straighten them out. He was less than excited about it but was ready to get it done if it was going to get him walking again.
Through al of this joy and excitement, Cliff did drop one bomb and said that the Doctor told him that walking was rpobably not likely for Cliff and you could see that pain in his eyes. But Cliff was now an old pro at this and he knew that verything was a day to day thing and he would deal with it when it came!
I saw Cliff a few more times and tried to make it by at least once a week but it was getting closer to Donna getting to Colorado and us relocating to Glenwood Springs. I had to get focued on making shit happen for us and although my battle was nothing like Cliffs, it was scary, overwhelming and time consuming.
I was finally able to get Donna to Colorado and Cliff and Ali wanted to meet her. Donna wanted to meet Cliff too as I had been keeping her updated on everything that had been going on. My last visit with cliff was shortly before New Years Eve... I was getting ready to move to Glenwood Springs and wanted to make sure I went to see Cliff and Ali one more time before I left, hug them both and wish them luck. I NEEDED to tell them how much they inspired me and how happy I was for them and I guess I just wanted to make sure my old friend knew just how much I cared before I pulled out of the Front Range of Colorado to go live in th emountains.
When Donna and I went to see Cliff, he was glowing. He was all smiles, had even better mobility than when I saw him last and he was REALLY starting to get his upper body in shape. DAMN the boy looked good! Warmed my heart and put a smile on my face.
We spent a little time with Cliff, I said my goodbyes to he and Ali, wished them luck, promised to keep following his progress and the last thing Cliff said to me was ....
"I will be walking soon and when I do, i am coming up for a visit!"
I told him that my home is his home and as soon as he is ready, he is welcome at my home anytiime! I hugged Cliff, he looked me in the eye, said "I love you man, thanks for everything" and i choked back the tears again....If Cliff only knew how much it was my pleasure to have had this experience with him...WOW!!
We said our goodbyes and left....
When I got to Glenwood, Donna and I started to get settled in but I was still following Cliff through FaceBook. He was getting better! He was improving!! But the cutting of his achilies tendons was just around the corner.
Once again, Cliff was on his way back to the hospital. He had the surgery and I tied to call him afterwards. Once again i heard that pain ridden voice over the phone and he was in too much pain to carry on a conversation. I told him i just wanted him to know I was thinking of him and looking forward to his recovery.
Cliff had botrh of his achelies tendons cut and then they tried to straigten out his feet and then put them in casts. I talked to Cliff after he got home and this suregery put him a few steps back again...He was in a LOT of pain and was back again relying on others to meet his essential needs... I just could not fathom this consitant "3 steps forward, 2 steps back" he was experiencing.
Jesus man, the drive this guy has is nothing more than Gladiator Strength. Ali's mom was getting worse and was reaching the point of her being bedridden. Her moms time was limited and now shehad to take her focus off of Cliff and focus on her mothers last days. Not only is it Gladiator Strength these two have, it is the strength that books talk of Gods having. Thor and Zeus would be proud of both of these two! I cant imagine!! I hope I am never forced to be tested in such a way... INSPIRATIONAL!!
I followed cliff through his first casting of his legs and the joy he experienced when his feet straigtened out. It had been almost a year since Cliff had seen his feet straight and I sat and watched with tears flowing down my cheecks as I watched the video of them cutting the casts off and him seeing his feet straigten out. His left one was still in bad shape but his right one was almost completely flat fotted...AMAZING and I cannot imagine the joy he felt as those casts came off but i could see it in his face in that video.
They put new casts on his feet and told him he was still in the process. A week or two later, my phone goes off and there is a message that says "Hey man, thought you might want to see this" and a picture popped up of Cliff standing on his own, with a walker, in the second floor of his house, standing up from his lazy boy, on his own two feet, without help from anyone, for the first time in almost a year.... i almost jumped out of my couch with joy....I dont think any one person has ever moved me to tears with such continued INSPIRATION.... HOLY SHIT MAN!!
How did I ever question? Why did I ever doubt?? yeah, here is Cliff, a TRUE fucking RockStar showing what true fucking Rockstars do...COME BACK!!
