June 22nd was my last day with BCFS. After resigning, I got busy selling off a bunch of stuff to get money together so I could move to Colorado and have some money to cover the bills while I search for a job. It was a sad process to see so many of the things I had attained leaving but I knew they were just things and it was for the greater good.
I contacted my family and discussed the options for my relocation to Colorado and the support I would need to get us restarted here. It was decided I would live with my parents while I looked for a job and a place to live.
Texas has been VERY good to me. I left Colorado as a really troubled young man with a pretty grim future and when I got to Texas, she was forgiving of my sins and offered me opportunities like I never thought possible. I got my life together, attained a career in Law Enforcement, met and married the most amazing woman in the world with three beautiful girls that taught me so much about myself. Texas offered me an opportunity to live in one of the most beautiful places in that State. An opportunity for professional advancement through an education all the way to my Masters. Struggles, hardships, magical times, breathtaking experiences, good friends, a training that helped me re find myself and grow even bigger.....All in all, Texas has been VERY good to me. There will always be a place in my heart in soul that IS Texas!
Donna and I loaded up all of the stuff that wasn't "essential" to our living there and on July 27th, 2012, we pulled out of Kerrville and made our way to Colorado. It was 103 degrees when we left Texas.
Donna and I have come to the conclusion that we just don't like the heat in Texas anymore, Kerrville was not offering us the professional opportunities we wanted and the home we have dreamed of was clearly starting to become less of a reality. Our vision is to get to Colorado and live IN the mountains.
As we pulled into Colorado Springs after a VERY long roadtrip to get here, it became clear that the front range of Colorado is NOT where we want to live and the thoughts of going out East of Colorado Springs was not going to be a suitable option for us either... Its the mountains that are calling us here, and it will be the mountains where we live.
When we got to the springs, I immediately started to put in for jobs and it wasn't long before I realized I had 70+ resumes out. I had a good bite on a job in Boulder as an Animal Control Officer, and after reading the description, it was clear this would be a job I could enjoy. 10 hour shifts, 4 days a week, and able to live in Boulder.
I remember Boulder from when I lived here and its where Colorado University is and its a really very laid back college town. I wanted Donna to go see it so once we got here, we hooked up mom and dads RV and headed to Boulder to look around.
We drove into Boulder and realized it is still a front range town and not really what our vision is of where we want to live. We decided to take a trip through the mountains and stay in Idaho Springs which is a small mountain time out of Denver. As we made our way out of Boulder, it was about 5 minutes and we realized that the beauty we are looking for in Colorado is a VERY easy commute from Boulder.
We drove up a pass that took us West, following Boulder creek and every turn was leaving us breathless...It was absolutely beautiful! 25 minutes out of boulder, we reached the top of this pass and it opened up to a good size lake and a little village town that surrounded it. You could see the peaks of Estes Park and we were surrounded by mountains....THIS was it!! We could do this!!
We kept driving and we quickly found a State Park and pulled in to drop the rig and go drive around a little. Just a few minutes from the park was a little restaurant and a drive through liquor store that is just out in the middle of nowhere. We went down to this place (called "The Last Shot Saloon" ) and went in to have dinner and a drink. We realized the place had a menu fro dogs and was pet friendly so we even got to bring our old hound dog Dosie in with us.
They had a porch where you could sit outside and it was a crystal clear day, sun shining and about 75 degrees outside. The porch overlooked an aspen groves valley and there were two Golden Eagles circling the aspen grove, swooping down to the treetops....This little place was a tiny piece of Heaven. We ate, Dosie ate and we just took in the thin Rocky Mountain air. It was GREAT!!
We stayed at the park and woke up the next day to head back to the Springs. We went through Blackhawk Colorado and were really taken with that town as well. So now we REALLY had it in our head that it HAD to be the mountains where we finally settle in. Man, it is just so beautiful here in the Mountains.
So we had it lined out that this was the plan, it was great that Donna came up with me to get a feel for it and see these areas so she knows this is the place for us. We even had 90 degree weather in Colorado while she was here, but it is truly a different heat than where we are in Texas. It was good for us both to take the time to drive around and see the different places.
Sadly, Donna stayed for a week and left the following Saturday morning to go back to our house in Kerrville and I got busy applying for jobs and calling people and needed to start focusing on getting things rolling here.
On August 9th, I went and tested for the City of Boulder for an animal control officer. It was a written and physical agility test. I was told there were 125 applicants for the position and after the tests, it was weeded down to about 50 people, I made the cut BARELY. I had to do a 1/3 mile run and have no acclimated to the altitude here and seriously about killed myself on that run...That hurt worse than any run I have ever done... Even during PT in the police academy.
I feel really good because I really don't think they are going to find someone as qualified and has the education I do to fill the position. I meet ALL of the requirements and HAVE actual animal control experience from my time with the Sheriffs Department. I move on this next week (15th or 16th) to the next step which is the oral board interviews and I am preparing myself to defend my experience now. I am sure I will continue to move on from that step....Then the background and this polygraph like test that is some new voice recognition system....In all reality, i am going to really like this job!
Its been tough being away from Donna but luckily we are both busy and although missing each other and hating the time apart, we KNOW we are on the right path to make this happen for us the way we want it to happen.
The good thing is we are two weeks in and although clouded by emotion from time to time, we are still on track with our plan and moving forward in the way we declared. The plan is working and in any plan to make changes in your life, there is some suffering....But the suffering is what makes the reward so sweet....And sweet things are on our way...I JUST KNOW IT!!
I will tell you this, as in many of my other posts, I am totally in a "trust the process mode" with a definite OWTFDWIT attitude!! THIS WILL happen on our terms and exactly like we want it to....The waiting is always the hardest part!!
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Is it full circle?
So, with the decision I spoke of in my last post, I have to make a plan for whats next for us....and here is the "plan" as of now.
Donna and I are both tired of Texas. We both love the Hill Country but the heat is starting to become unbearable and the opportunities for advancement of our lives just aren't here. We have really worked hard to make the things we want happen here and we just keep spinning our wheels. Its time for a change....
So, we have been looking at different places to move around the country for some time now and we just cant seem to find "the" place that would suit us. We definitely cant find a "secure" place to try and step off too, so my head started to turn....
What about going back to Colorado?
Now I have to say, I don't have much desire to live back in Colorado Springs. 350k people is quite the city and although we have lived in bigger, neither of us really like the idea of living in Colorado Springs and the country living we enjoy just isn't really accessible inside that city. But outside of the Springs? In the mountains?? Now THAT'S doo-able!
So I contacted my family, my realtor, sat down with Donna and here is the plan....
On June 22nd I will have my last day with BCFS. I am trying to get into a FEMA class that is happening the last week of June but it is full....The next one, which I AM signed up for, that one is the week of July 16th.
So, if I get in the class at the end of June, I will get my certification and then take a week or two to downsize some of our stuff.
If I don't get in that class, I will take the week or two before and downsize our stuff. I will make some contacts back in Colorado to get my resume flowing and get the feelers out there. We will start to decrease the amount of our house. I will cash in on the downsizing put my student loans BACK in deferment (TRY not to have to sell my Harley....UUUUGHHHH!!) and get a U-Haul trailer, load up all the stuff we aren't using or don't need, fill my little truck, and head North.
I have set it up with my family that I will be a "squatter" with them while I look for jobs and a new house. Donna will stay here and keep the home front working, tie up loose ends, get the house sold and join me once we get everything here taken care of. I should be in Colorado Springs The last weekend of July and beating the streets for work the first week of August.
Once the house sells here in Texas, I will fly back down to Texas, get a U-Haul, load up the rest of our stuff, get our horses and bring Donna up to Colorado with me. Hopefully we will have a place to put our horses and only have to be with family for a couple of weeks, take the money we make from the house, put it down on a new place and start over...Again!! WOOOO-HOOOOO!!!
The only thing I could see that would deter this plan is if I didnt find a job and was able to deploy to an disaster of some kind...Even then though, the end plan is to be back in Colorado
OWTFDWIT!!!!
Any of my Colorado friends that read this, I could SURE use a helping hand to get my resume out there and some possible directions for job opportunities... If you have any feedback or would like to get a copy of my resume to pass of for me, please contact me at bjgolden1@hotmail.com and I will get it to you.
If any of my Colorado peeps could help me out, I need two things....
1. Job leads or networking
2. a place to put 2 horses (cheap or free if possible...We will hopefully only have them at any one place for a month and Donna will take care of all of their needs)
Please keep your ears open for us.... We could sure use the help.
Donna and I are both tired of Texas. We both love the Hill Country but the heat is starting to become unbearable and the opportunities for advancement of our lives just aren't here. We have really worked hard to make the things we want happen here and we just keep spinning our wheels. Its time for a change....
So, we have been looking at different places to move around the country for some time now and we just cant seem to find "the" place that would suit us. We definitely cant find a "secure" place to try and step off too, so my head started to turn....
What about going back to Colorado?
Now I have to say, I don't have much desire to live back in Colorado Springs. 350k people is quite the city and although we have lived in bigger, neither of us really like the idea of living in Colorado Springs and the country living we enjoy just isn't really accessible inside that city. But outside of the Springs? In the mountains?? Now THAT'S doo-able!
So I contacted my family, my realtor, sat down with Donna and here is the plan....
On June 22nd I will have my last day with BCFS. I am trying to get into a FEMA class that is happening the last week of June but it is full....The next one, which I AM signed up for, that one is the week of July 16th.
So, if I get in the class at the end of June, I will get my certification and then take a week or two to downsize some of our stuff.
If I don't get in that class, I will take the week or two before and downsize our stuff. I will make some contacts back in Colorado to get my resume flowing and get the feelers out there. We will start to decrease the amount of our house. I will cash in on the downsizing put my student loans BACK in deferment (TRY not to have to sell my Harley....UUUUGHHHH!!) and get a U-Haul trailer, load up all the stuff we aren't using or don't need, fill my little truck, and head North.
I have set it up with my family that I will be a "squatter" with them while I look for jobs and a new house. Donna will stay here and keep the home front working, tie up loose ends, get the house sold and join me once we get everything here taken care of. I should be in Colorado Springs The last weekend of July and beating the streets for work the first week of August.
Once the house sells here in Texas, I will fly back down to Texas, get a U-Haul, load up the rest of our stuff, get our horses and bring Donna up to Colorado with me. Hopefully we will have a place to put our horses and only have to be with family for a couple of weeks, take the money we make from the house, put it down on a new place and start over...Again!! WOOOO-HOOOOO!!!
The only thing I could see that would deter this plan is if I didnt find a job and was able to deploy to an disaster of some kind...Even then though, the end plan is to be back in Colorado
OWTFDWIT!!!!
Any of my Colorado friends that read this, I could SURE use a helping hand to get my resume out there and some possible directions for job opportunities... If you have any feedback or would like to get a copy of my resume to pass of for me, please contact me at bjgolden1@hotmail.com and I will get it to you.
If any of my Colorado peeps could help me out, I need two things....
1. Job leads or networking
2. a place to put 2 horses (cheap or free if possible...We will hopefully only have them at any one place for a month and Donna will take care of all of their needs)
Please keep your ears open for us.... We could sure use the help.
Ending it with BCFS
I have not posted since my deployment because much has been going on since my return. I realized I was pretty miserable when I left the office to go to the deployment and found that the misery i had left was waiting for my return. I am truly NOT happy in the role I have at my current position and it is really starting to make me ill.
After getting home from the shelter, I took some time to reflect on my life and where I was, where I was going, and what in the hell was I doing where I am now. I was hoping I would have a little more time, but the Universe has an idea of her own in regards to time.
When I got back, immediately I was confronted with my bosses who were throwing a new program at me to take on. It was a grant for 200k a year to add to the transitional living program that I currently manage. I have 4 programs I oversee and as a result of the management of those programs, i have absolutely become a "paper pusher" and a "budget cruncher" and a "desk jockey" and I have no interaction with people. I am micro-managed to the point where LITERALLY i cannot even speak to other people in relationship to my work or people that I SHOULD be communicating with for my work unless it is cleared through the proper channels. Then when it is cleared through the proper channels, i am TOLD what to say, how to say it and am reminded that if I make a mistake, it wont be looked on favorably AT ALL.
I CANT BREATHE!!!
So when I get back and they throw this at me, we get on a conference call and we start to discuss the ins and outs of this grant we are pursuing. Now keep in mind, I have been coached NUMEROUS times from my superiors that I am not to ask questions on conference calls so as i was listening to these people talk about "RFP's" and "Partner Matrix's" and proposals, and blah, blah, blah....I was totally lost and had no idea what any of these terms meant. I was instructed to format a matrix that involved all of the partners we work with and when I got off the phone, i went the direction I THOUGH that this meant.... of course, i was wrong.
So my boss calls me and starts in about how inaccurately I have done this and starts in on me about the conference call....I started back at her about how I had no idea what any of this meant and am not allowed to ask questions on conference calls....and then it hit me....
I am going down this same road with my boss (who I do have respect for) that I have done in the past that only results in more frustration, anger and resentment....And I stopped the conversation and said...
"Look, this is the deal.... I don't get this stuff like you do, AND I don't want to. I know I am DAMN good at what i do. I just left San Antonio where I managed 120 kids, 50 staff and ran an emergency shelter for 16 days. The staff threw 2 parties for me when I left and people actually cried as i walked out the doors. My talents, skills and abilities are not best served in this position. I know I am a vital part of the team but if we were a football team and you put me in as quarterback and I am at my best as a lineman, I am REALLY cool with being a lineman so our team can win! I think I need to go back to a lineman!
I don't understand how you and your boss can read a grant one time and then come back on a conference call and say "on page 23, 3rd paragraph, second line, it says......." I just don't get it...And I cant make myself get it.... You are trying to take someone who oil paints well and put them in a physics class and expect an "A"....You are trying to put a square peg in a round hole.... We are both getting frustrated with each other and the most important part, we aren't serving our clients to our full potential like this. I am asking to step down from my position in management with BCFS. I don't want to leave the organization, I know there aren't any openings here but if we can figure something out, I don't want to do this job anymore."
She understood and agreed and went on about how she admired my determination to not try to conform to something I am not, my desire to move forward with my passions....At the time, it felt like 20lbs was lifted off my stomach.
We ended the call and I went back to work. We had alot going on in the next couple of weeks. We moved Brandi and the boys to Ft Worth, we went to Galveston for Shanna getting married and the whole time, I am wondering what the hell I am going to do.
What made it worse was my boss, at the time of the call, was on deployment and would be out for two weeks. Any decision that was going to be made was going to have to be made then. On May 22nd, i sent my formal letter asking for re-assignment to my boss. She still had a week to be out but i just could not let this sit anymore...I HAD to make something move.
I went online and found the classes I was going to need to have me fully prepared for an incident Management Team with FEMA and got signed up. I saw there was one going on the last week of June, but it was full and there was a waiting list. I signed up for stand by and then signed up for another one in July that I KNEW I could get in just in case.
My boss came back from deployment and tried to put me off with the reassignment. I explained to her that I needed to know where I stood so i could start taking action to take care of myself. I was aware that there was no place to re-assign me to and there was no one at the office that had the ability to perform the tasks that the position demanded...It hit me pretty quick that I might be out of a job soon.
So upon her return, we met with her boss, we all three sat in a room and started to discuss this. As I feared, the only option available to me was to take a position in San Antonio for 10k less a year. That would mean 10k less on my paycheck and an hour commute every day, ONE WAY....Not reasonable!
I declined that offer and was told the only other option was for me to resign. So........ I did.......
Now I know people are thinking this is insane and stupid and not the best choice, but I am confident, even through my fear, THIS is the right choice.... I chose it, and there is no other excuse!
I was LITERALLY to the point where I was waking up on Sunday and more entire day was shot because all i could do was focus on the dread of going to work on Monday. I have NEVER had a position like that and it was just killing me....Life shouldn't be like that and I would rather worry about a next step than worry about taking one into the bear trap.
So, June 22nd will be my last day with BCFS. I have 2 possibilities out there in the world right now for jobs in this area....A position with BCFS Emergency Management Services and a position with Disaster response with the Red Cross.... I HAVE GOT to get away from this direct care, non profit, case management life....Its just not getting me where I want to go. I have another option that is on the plate that even scarier and if things don't go the way I need them to with these other opportunities, I/We are going to have to take a HUGE next step...
So, BCFS HHS, Teen and Youth Division.... It has been grand and it has been fun....I have had some great times but I think my time with you is complete. I met some great people, touched some lives and had mine touched in so many ways. This will definitely be another experience that guides me to whats next.... I hope the best for the organization, the center and the dedicated people there who are impacting the lives of others. Blessings to you all!
After getting home from the shelter, I took some time to reflect on my life and where I was, where I was going, and what in the hell was I doing where I am now. I was hoping I would have a little more time, but the Universe has an idea of her own in regards to time.
When I got back, immediately I was confronted with my bosses who were throwing a new program at me to take on. It was a grant for 200k a year to add to the transitional living program that I currently manage. I have 4 programs I oversee and as a result of the management of those programs, i have absolutely become a "paper pusher" and a "budget cruncher" and a "desk jockey" and I have no interaction with people. I am micro-managed to the point where LITERALLY i cannot even speak to other people in relationship to my work or people that I SHOULD be communicating with for my work unless it is cleared through the proper channels. Then when it is cleared through the proper channels, i am TOLD what to say, how to say it and am reminded that if I make a mistake, it wont be looked on favorably AT ALL.
I CANT BREATHE!!!
So when I get back and they throw this at me, we get on a conference call and we start to discuss the ins and outs of this grant we are pursuing. Now keep in mind, I have been coached NUMEROUS times from my superiors that I am not to ask questions on conference calls so as i was listening to these people talk about "RFP's" and "Partner Matrix's" and proposals, and blah, blah, blah....I was totally lost and had no idea what any of these terms meant. I was instructed to format a matrix that involved all of the partners we work with and when I got off the phone, i went the direction I THOUGH that this meant.... of course, i was wrong.
So my boss calls me and starts in about how inaccurately I have done this and starts in on me about the conference call....I started back at her about how I had no idea what any of this meant and am not allowed to ask questions on conference calls....and then it hit me....
I am going down this same road with my boss (who I do have respect for) that I have done in the past that only results in more frustration, anger and resentment....And I stopped the conversation and said...
"Look, this is the deal.... I don't get this stuff like you do, AND I don't want to. I know I am DAMN good at what i do. I just left San Antonio where I managed 120 kids, 50 staff and ran an emergency shelter for 16 days. The staff threw 2 parties for me when I left and people actually cried as i walked out the doors. My talents, skills and abilities are not best served in this position. I know I am a vital part of the team but if we were a football team and you put me in as quarterback and I am at my best as a lineman, I am REALLY cool with being a lineman so our team can win! I think I need to go back to a lineman!
I don't understand how you and your boss can read a grant one time and then come back on a conference call and say "on page 23, 3rd paragraph, second line, it says......." I just don't get it...And I cant make myself get it.... You are trying to take someone who oil paints well and put them in a physics class and expect an "A"....You are trying to put a square peg in a round hole.... We are both getting frustrated with each other and the most important part, we aren't serving our clients to our full potential like this. I am asking to step down from my position in management with BCFS. I don't want to leave the organization, I know there aren't any openings here but if we can figure something out, I don't want to do this job anymore."
She understood and agreed and went on about how she admired my determination to not try to conform to something I am not, my desire to move forward with my passions....At the time, it felt like 20lbs was lifted off my stomach.
We ended the call and I went back to work. We had alot going on in the next couple of weeks. We moved Brandi and the boys to Ft Worth, we went to Galveston for Shanna getting married and the whole time, I am wondering what the hell I am going to do.
What made it worse was my boss, at the time of the call, was on deployment and would be out for two weeks. Any decision that was going to be made was going to have to be made then. On May 22nd, i sent my formal letter asking for re-assignment to my boss. She still had a week to be out but i just could not let this sit anymore...I HAD to make something move.
I went online and found the classes I was going to need to have me fully prepared for an incident Management Team with FEMA and got signed up. I saw there was one going on the last week of June, but it was full and there was a waiting list. I signed up for stand by and then signed up for another one in July that I KNEW I could get in just in case.
My boss came back from deployment and tried to put me off with the reassignment. I explained to her that I needed to know where I stood so i could start taking action to take care of myself. I was aware that there was no place to re-assign me to and there was no one at the office that had the ability to perform the tasks that the position demanded...It hit me pretty quick that I might be out of a job soon.
So upon her return, we met with her boss, we all three sat in a room and started to discuss this. As I feared, the only option available to me was to take a position in San Antonio for 10k less a year. That would mean 10k less on my paycheck and an hour commute every day, ONE WAY....Not reasonable!
I declined that offer and was told the only other option was for me to resign. So........ I did.......
Now I know people are thinking this is insane and stupid and not the best choice, but I am confident, even through my fear, THIS is the right choice.... I chose it, and there is no other excuse!
I was LITERALLY to the point where I was waking up on Sunday and more entire day was shot because all i could do was focus on the dread of going to work on Monday. I have NEVER had a position like that and it was just killing me....Life shouldn't be like that and I would rather worry about a next step than worry about taking one into the bear trap.
So, June 22nd will be my last day with BCFS. I have 2 possibilities out there in the world right now for jobs in this area....A position with BCFS Emergency Management Services and a position with Disaster response with the Red Cross.... I HAVE GOT to get away from this direct care, non profit, case management life....Its just not getting me where I want to go. I have another option that is on the plate that even scarier and if things don't go the way I need them to with these other opportunities, I/We are going to have to take a HUGE next step...
So, BCFS HHS, Teen and Youth Division.... It has been grand and it has been fun....I have had some great times but I think my time with you is complete. I met some great people, touched some lives and had mine touched in so many ways. This will definitely be another experience that guides me to whats next.... I hope the best for the organization, the center and the dedicated people there who are impacting the lives of others. Blessings to you all!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Awareness
Lately I have realized that I am at a place in my life that I am not content....I have become complacent and in that place, it causes me unrest. In unrest, I start to search....In my search I have two directions....Look forward at what I can do, or sit quiet and reflect on who I BE....lately, I have been in the place of "DO" and am finding myself lost, unable to grasp the fullness of life I know is there....I am, in many ways, MISERABLE!
3 nights ago, as I was flipping through the channels, I saw on PBS there was a Wayne Dyer (one of the people I truly think GETS IT) special on...A new one. I turned to the channel and realized I was at the credits end of the show and had missed the content. I turned the channel to some useless TV show, settled in and didn't think about it. The next night I get a call from an old friend (the one that enrolled me into the trainings in Dallas) and it was "odd" to just randomly hear from him. We had a general conversation and in the conversation, he asked if I had seen the new Wayne Dyer PBS special. I explained how I had JUST missed it but wanted to see it...He said...
"Wow, I figured since this guy is your mentor, you would have caught that"
I explained that I wanted to see it, but just missed it....He went on to tell me a little about it, our conversation shifted, and we went on to talk about other things.
Last night, as I channel surfed, I saw that Wayne was back on PBS and I turned it on, only to catch the last 30 minutes of the show. Just listening to him speak, I realized that I have lost connection with my "source" and it was high time to get back in touch with it...I also realized that to do so, I was going to need some coaching, and for me, Wayne has always been a good coach.
I went to I-Tunes and downloaded his program. I decided that I was going to re-connect with what has been a constant in my life of "working" and use this channel to re-connect with who I BE and work to step away from what I was/am DOING.
I downloaded the audio book, put it on my I-pod, burned 5 CD's to have them so I could listen in the car, and today, SHIFT happened!
I got into my car to drive to work....Its only a 15 minute drive to get there, and I started to listed to this "guru" of mine, Wayne Dyer.... Almost immediately, I started to find a calmness in myself....It wasn't so much the words or the voice, it was the connection to something that has worked time and time again that I simply had misplaced.
As I drove to work, I listened to Wayne speak on this CD....It wasn't his usual type of lecture...I could tell he is reading from a written format, but his message was clear to me... I actually started to "see" things differently.
Now this download is a 4-5 hour recording, and I was basically through the intro by the time I got to work. Not thinking too much about it, but aware of my conscious state, things were "different"....
As I got to work, I went to the duties at hand. I hired a new employee and today was the intro day to her tasks, duties, paperwork, etc...
I was also called in by my boss because she had to make the ALWAYS uncomfortable choice today to let someone go....All of their own accord, all of their creation, but it was time for this employee to move on. I was asked to be a witness in the room for the termination and of course, I was there for it. After the formalities were done, and the employee was dismissed, I could see in my bosses face that she was suffering with the decision. I closed the office door, went to hug her, and asked her if she was OK.... She started to sob and was upset with the decision...
As a side not here....I am of the belief that sometimes you just have to let people go, but unless they are some kind of sociopath, ANY time you have to terminate someone from their job, it should be an uneasy, uncomfortable, and emotional process....To me, its this type of personality and caring that shows the quality of the human being you work for and with....As necessary as it is, to terminate someone should ALWAYS be a tragic thing... It just sucks!!
Because there are no accidents, last week, my boss and I decided to schedule a lunch together and shortly after noon, we went to spend that time together. We spoke about generalities and common things...friends, our weekend, our dogs, our cars....just general conversation....Then a lady walked into the restaurant.
My boss excused herself and went to greet this woman. She came back with her, introduced me to her, and then when we parted ways, she went into the explanation of who this woman is/was in her life....Come to find out, it was a woman that she worked with in a tragic time in her life, a time when she could have used this person to her advantage, and chose to allow her human nature to shine through and SURRENDER her old way of being and ACCEPT this person in her life as an instrument for them both to learn from.... I would go into details, but that would be out of integrity for me to do so, so I wont.
Oddly, in the conversation, my boss was talking about a portion of her life that I had experienced before, and until this moment, didn't realize I was in the midst of the experience again.... Sometimes, people just have to tell you that you are in the middle of a shit pile before you start to realize the stench....I just smelled the shit!!
As we talked, and she started to tell me about this experience and her "surrender" of the life she was living at that time, I started to reflect on those few minutes with my mentor Wayne, and started to realize how far I have gotten from my SOURCE....the thing that makes me move through this life with excellence and drive.... Man, its just funny how life unfolds when you make a conscious effort to allow it too!
So as we talked more, she started to answer the questions I have been asking myself for the last couple of months....She started to explain to me, through her experience, what I was/am experiencing now.... We truly are connected in ways we CANNOT understand..... ALL OF US!!
I started to realize that it was a year ago or so when I left home to go and live in New Braunfels....When I decided to abandon my dreams of what my soul wants because I had to go and DO something!! And I went....Since then, I have been searching for something to do, and until this very day, until lunch time today, sitting with my boss, I had no idea that who I BE has been so distant from me in so many ways!
I really started to piece together that although I had moments of great BEING, in this last year, my life is almost completely consumed with DOING and here I am, miserable, unhappy, depressed, looking for what to DO next and I have forgotten.....IT DOESN'T FRICKIN WORK THAT WAY!!
So After this great 2 hours with my boss, chatting about business and life, I pulled up to the driveway of the office and I told her...
"You know, you have reminded me of something a guy named Jay Pinto told me years ago that I have lost touch with....I am miserable, unhappy and searching, and its all perfect....and its all perfect because its happening and there is no other excuse!!"
To me, what that says is....
"I can choose to be miserable and unhappy, or I can realize that this is PERFECT and leading me to something else....Step back, embrace the moment, breathe, BE the BEST I can BE and the doors to what I want in my life will open and reveal themselves!"
So I finished my day and went to my truck and turned Wayne Dyer back on and connected to the message, to the words he had to offer... And he made a bold statement... (and I paraphrase)
"When we make an "I AM" statement, then we start to manifest that into our lives. I AM sets the direction for where I am going and when I completely immerse myself in that, then an overwhelming answer from the universe to answer to that declaration will reveal itself."
In this last several months or so, I have stated...I AM unhappy....I AM miserable... I AM exhausted... I AM stuck....And you know what???? I am right!!
I am still only 30 minutes into my new Wayne Dyer series, but as I sit and type this, I realize the longer I have distanced myself from these distinctions, the more miserable I am becoming.... I am making a conscious effort...and solidly working, to spend time to listen to my mentor, be present in the moment, be content that I am in the perfect place for the perfect reason, and just.......BE!
I swear, I am always amazed at the DRIFT....It is a sucking muther fukker and that damn vacuum can have you in a whirlwind before you even know your house is in the funnel cloud.....
And I must say, its no accident that as I am typing this, at this VERY moment, there is a tornado warning in my town and a funnel cloud has been sighted just a few miles from me.... Maybe God is speaking to me RIGHT now and with this awareness alone, I will send that cloud over to some crabs and away from me!!
Its been a while since I felt the need to blog my life experiences, but I had a profound moment today and am ready to get centered and reconnected to the source of who I am to create the life I declare and want....Because its clear, I am creating the life I declare right now and have been... And it SUCKS!
SHIFT!!!
And brother....Its high frickin time!!
OWTFDWIT!!!!!!!!
3 nights ago, as I was flipping through the channels, I saw on PBS there was a Wayne Dyer (one of the people I truly think GETS IT) special on...A new one. I turned to the channel and realized I was at the credits end of the show and had missed the content. I turned the channel to some useless TV show, settled in and didn't think about it. The next night I get a call from an old friend (the one that enrolled me into the trainings in Dallas) and it was "odd" to just randomly hear from him. We had a general conversation and in the conversation, he asked if I had seen the new Wayne Dyer PBS special. I explained how I had JUST missed it but wanted to see it...He said...
"Wow, I figured since this guy is your mentor, you would have caught that"
I explained that I wanted to see it, but just missed it....He went on to tell me a little about it, our conversation shifted, and we went on to talk about other things.
Last night, as I channel surfed, I saw that Wayne was back on PBS and I turned it on, only to catch the last 30 minutes of the show. Just listening to him speak, I realized that I have lost connection with my "source" and it was high time to get back in touch with it...I also realized that to do so, I was going to need some coaching, and for me, Wayne has always been a good coach.
I went to I-Tunes and downloaded his program. I decided that I was going to re-connect with what has been a constant in my life of "working" and use this channel to re-connect with who I BE and work to step away from what I was/am DOING.
I downloaded the audio book, put it on my I-pod, burned 5 CD's to have them so I could listen in the car, and today, SHIFT happened!
I got into my car to drive to work....Its only a 15 minute drive to get there, and I started to listed to this "guru" of mine, Wayne Dyer.... Almost immediately, I started to find a calmness in myself....It wasn't so much the words or the voice, it was the connection to something that has worked time and time again that I simply had misplaced.
As I drove to work, I listened to Wayne speak on this CD....It wasn't his usual type of lecture...I could tell he is reading from a written format, but his message was clear to me... I actually started to "see" things differently.
Now this download is a 4-5 hour recording, and I was basically through the intro by the time I got to work. Not thinking too much about it, but aware of my conscious state, things were "different"....
As I got to work, I went to the duties at hand. I hired a new employee and today was the intro day to her tasks, duties, paperwork, etc...
I was also called in by my boss because she had to make the ALWAYS uncomfortable choice today to let someone go....All of their own accord, all of their creation, but it was time for this employee to move on. I was asked to be a witness in the room for the termination and of course, I was there for it. After the formalities were done, and the employee was dismissed, I could see in my bosses face that she was suffering with the decision. I closed the office door, went to hug her, and asked her if she was OK.... She started to sob and was upset with the decision...
As a side not here....I am of the belief that sometimes you just have to let people go, but unless they are some kind of sociopath, ANY time you have to terminate someone from their job, it should be an uneasy, uncomfortable, and emotional process....To me, its this type of personality and caring that shows the quality of the human being you work for and with....As necessary as it is, to terminate someone should ALWAYS be a tragic thing... It just sucks!!
Because there are no accidents, last week, my boss and I decided to schedule a lunch together and shortly after noon, we went to spend that time together. We spoke about generalities and common things...friends, our weekend, our dogs, our cars....just general conversation....Then a lady walked into the restaurant.
My boss excused herself and went to greet this woman. She came back with her, introduced me to her, and then when we parted ways, she went into the explanation of who this woman is/was in her life....Come to find out, it was a woman that she worked with in a tragic time in her life, a time when she could have used this person to her advantage, and chose to allow her human nature to shine through and SURRENDER her old way of being and ACCEPT this person in her life as an instrument for them both to learn from.... I would go into details, but that would be out of integrity for me to do so, so I wont.
Oddly, in the conversation, my boss was talking about a portion of her life that I had experienced before, and until this moment, didn't realize I was in the midst of the experience again.... Sometimes, people just have to tell you that you are in the middle of a shit pile before you start to realize the stench....I just smelled the shit!!
As we talked, and she started to tell me about this experience and her "surrender" of the life she was living at that time, I started to reflect on those few minutes with my mentor Wayne, and started to realize how far I have gotten from my SOURCE....the thing that makes me move through this life with excellence and drive.... Man, its just funny how life unfolds when you make a conscious effort to allow it too!
So as we talked more, she started to answer the questions I have been asking myself for the last couple of months....She started to explain to me, through her experience, what I was/am experiencing now.... We truly are connected in ways we CANNOT understand..... ALL OF US!!
I started to realize that it was a year ago or so when I left home to go and live in New Braunfels....When I decided to abandon my dreams of what my soul wants because I had to go and DO something!! And I went....Since then, I have been searching for something to do, and until this very day, until lunch time today, sitting with my boss, I had no idea that who I BE has been so distant from me in so many ways!
I really started to piece together that although I had moments of great BEING, in this last year, my life is almost completely consumed with DOING and here I am, miserable, unhappy, depressed, looking for what to DO next and I have forgotten.....IT DOESN'T FRICKIN WORK THAT WAY!!
So After this great 2 hours with my boss, chatting about business and life, I pulled up to the driveway of the office and I told her...
"You know, you have reminded me of something a guy named Jay Pinto told me years ago that I have lost touch with....I am miserable, unhappy and searching, and its all perfect....and its all perfect because its happening and there is no other excuse!!"
To me, what that says is....
"I can choose to be miserable and unhappy, or I can realize that this is PERFECT and leading me to something else....Step back, embrace the moment, breathe, BE the BEST I can BE and the doors to what I want in my life will open and reveal themselves!"
So I finished my day and went to my truck and turned Wayne Dyer back on and connected to the message, to the words he had to offer... And he made a bold statement... (and I paraphrase)
"When we make an "I AM" statement, then we start to manifest that into our lives. I AM sets the direction for where I am going and when I completely immerse myself in that, then an overwhelming answer from the universe to answer to that declaration will reveal itself."
In this last several months or so, I have stated...I AM unhappy....I AM miserable... I AM exhausted... I AM stuck....And you know what???? I am right!!
I am still only 30 minutes into my new Wayne Dyer series, but as I sit and type this, I realize the longer I have distanced myself from these distinctions, the more miserable I am becoming.... I am making a conscious effort...and solidly working, to spend time to listen to my mentor, be present in the moment, be content that I am in the perfect place for the perfect reason, and just.......BE!
I swear, I am always amazed at the DRIFT....It is a sucking muther fukker and that damn vacuum can have you in a whirlwind before you even know your house is in the funnel cloud.....
And I must say, its no accident that as I am typing this, at this VERY moment, there is a tornado warning in my town and a funnel cloud has been sighted just a few miles from me.... Maybe God is speaking to me RIGHT now and with this awareness alone, I will send that cloud over to some crabs and away from me!!
Its been a while since I felt the need to blog my life experiences, but I had a profound moment today and am ready to get centered and reconnected to the source of who I am to create the life I declare and want....Because its clear, I am creating the life I declare right now and have been... And it SUCKS!
SHIFT!!!
And brother....Its high frickin time!!
OWTFDWIT!!!!!!!!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Working to settle in
As I sit here on Sunday night thinking about the week ahead, I find myself exhausted form the thought process itself. Although I really do support the organization and what we stand for, this adjustment to the process is growing tiresome. The good thing is i feel like I am starting to find my "groove" in this and starting to understand the technical process fo the job....The paperwork, the reporting, the meetings, etc... I was hired in part with this job to promote a new grant to help emply foster youth in care and that have aged out of care. I know I have the ability to make contact and to make this program work.
I am finding that this job has really started to take me away fromt he direct care of people (which has its benefits and downfalls) and again, its a process I am adjusting to. I have been in managmemnet before and find in this job as well as the others I have had, managing people can be such a challenge. I have always found it hard to understand why people have to be so resistant to authority. I myself have struggled with positions of authority as well, but generally it is the resistance to those who want to remind me over and over again that they are "the boss" so I work hard to NOW be this type of person. I work hard to let people know that there are jobs at hand that have to be done and many times its things we dont want to do. My approach has always been one of empathy and understanding of this dislike, so I really direct the tasks in a way so the peopel I manage understand that I am willing to support and even take part in that process as much as possible, and yet, I still am et with resistance.
Another thing I have struggled with as a professional is when I am faced with accountability to things I had no idea I was accountable for....How can one be held accountabel for something they havent been properly educated or trained with??? It is a tiresome and frustrting part of "working." This is another thing I work hard to be different with my approach...I always work hard to explain, inform, support and educate those who I task witht he job so if there is an accountability issue, it is the person responsible for the tast that is accountable.
I am finding that this job has really started to take me away fromt he direct care of people (which has its benefits and downfalls) and again, its a process I am adjusting to. I have been in managmemnet before and find in this job as well as the others I have had, managing people can be such a challenge. I have always found it hard to understand why people have to be so resistant to authority. I myself have struggled with positions of authority as well, but generally it is the resistance to those who want to remind me over and over again that they are "the boss" so I work hard to NOW be this type of person. I work hard to let people know that there are jobs at hand that have to be done and many times its things we dont want to do. My approach has always been one of empathy and understanding of this dislike, so I really direct the tasks in a way so the peopel I manage understand that I am willing to support and even take part in that process as much as possible, and yet, I still am et with resistance.
Another thing I have struggled with as a professional is when I am faced with accountability to things I had no idea I was accountable for....How can one be held accountabel for something they havent been properly educated or trained with??? It is a tiresome and frustrting part of "working." This is another thing I work hard to be different with my approach...I always work hard to explain, inform, support and educate those who I task witht he job so if there is an accountability issue, it is the person responsible for the tast that is accountable.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Cleaning up
Our Friends who had the fire here recently asked Donna and I to come an help her transport her horses to a trainer today and so we went over with our trailer to load them up and take them to Boerne. Danny wasn't able to go with us because he said he was waiting on a guy to bring him a snake. Apparently the guy has had the snake for 7 years and she has just gotten too big for him to manage anymore and called Danny to see if Danny could give him a good home. Of course Danny agreed!
So we left and took the horse to Boerne and spent the day with Debbie. We stopped and had lunch and just enjoyed the day....We spoke about the cleanup, a little about the fire and the plans fro reconstruction and it was good to hear the HOPE she had in her voice for the future... They really did lose ALOT in this fire and we know it has been emotionally, physically and monetarily draining for them both... Like I said before, I wish there was more we could do to help them!
Well, we got back from dropping the horses off and I asked Danny if he got his new snake...He said he had... I asked...
"So how big is it?"
"She is 121 pounds and about 12-14 feet long"
"Well lets go see her!"
"You bet, lets go!!"
Most of Danny's snakes survived the fire as they were in another building. As we walked into the warm, humid building, I was getting excited to see the new snake... He took me to her tank, and here she is....She is a Burmese python, and ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!
It was nice to see all of the animals that survived and it was good to see Danny smiling as he showed me around to re-visit his babies.... This is about a 15 foot albino, reticulated python....She is not quite so nice, so I kept my hands out of her cage!
He has spoken of his anaconda a few times and I had seen her once, but for some reason, Anacondas remind me of a big ass water moccasin and the creep me out. I didn't see her in the cages and I said...
"Danny, where is your anaconda?"
And I was standing right next to a large Rubbermaid trash can and he said...
"Oh, she is right here!
Pulled the lid off, and no more than 3 feet from me was a 14 foot anaconda in a trashcan full of water with her head sitting on the top....I got IMMEDIATE goose bumps!!
He explained she was shedding and needed to be in the water to get the skin off of her better.... She would roll around int he tank and these large sheds of skin would float to the top and it creeped me out to think about walking through some water somewhere and seeing a piece of skin like this floating...Man, that would freak me OUT!! And not sure why, but this girl gives me the creeps!
We walked around a bit and I snapped a few shots of some of his other "babies"
LOOK AT THOSE EYES!!!!! DAMMIT MAN!!!!
As i was taking pics of the Cobra, I heard Danny say...
"Here Brad, check this guy out!"
And I turned around and he handed me this guy....A blue tongued skink.... I tried to get a picture of his tongue, but couldn't catch it...it is sky blue!! He is too cool!!
The place is coming along pretty good but it is still just heartwrenching to walk around the place and see the destruction....But the damaged building is gone and they have plans to build a 60x65 foot, cinder block building to replace what they lost. They are hoping for 3500sp feet, all cutting edge stuff to house their reptiles. Like I said, it is really good to hear the HOPE in their voices and see the smiles on their faces!
As we started to leave, I asked about one of his large snappers that almost got caught in the fire....he said...
"Oh yeah, he is over in that blue tank...Go pick him up and check him out!"
I had not seen this turtle before because he has always been in "green" water and you cant see him. I walked up to this blue tank that was partially melted from the fire, looked into it, saw clear water and a HUGGGE Snapping Turtle....I will bet you this turtle is all of 5-6 feet long from tip of his nose to tip of his tail and he weighs about 80lbs....His head is about the size of a basketball, or maybe a little bigger....He is a MONSTER turtle and I have NEVER seen one in person this big....Hell, I don't know if I have seen one on TV this big!! He is HUGE!!
Danny says....
"just reach in there and pick him up."
I looked at him and said ....
"F%^K YOU, that a big ass turtle man, he could literally bite my wrist in half...You are outta your mind!"
He said...
"No, really, just grab his shell from right behind his head, and grab the shell right by his tail, and just lift him up...It will be OK, I promise!"
I know Danny would never put me in a position to get hurt (without warning me) but I gotta tell ya, this big ole boy is....well....a BIG OLE BOY!!
So I reached into the tank like Danny said, grabbed him like he said, he started to swell up a little and move his head, and I took a deep breath and lifted him out...
He was SOOOOOO Cool man....Moved really slow, didn't react at all to me....
I put him back in the tank and Danny said....
"yeah, he is an old guy....He is about 115 years old!!!"
Think about that...that turtle is 115 years old!! Can you imagine the life this old guy has seen? The people who have probably picked him up and had him as a pet when he was a baby?? The different places he has been!!??
And to think, Danny saves turtles this big and bigger from hunters who sell them to restaurants.... I just couldn't imagine killing a 115 year old turtle to put him in a soup...Sad!
So we finished up the day, helped out Danny and Debbie and headed home.... I always really do enjoy my visits to their home....Always something new to see and experience...We are blessed to have them as friends!
Thanks guys!!
So we left and took the horse to Boerne and spent the day with Debbie. We stopped and had lunch and just enjoyed the day....We spoke about the cleanup, a little about the fire and the plans fro reconstruction and it was good to hear the HOPE she had in her voice for the future... They really did lose ALOT in this fire and we know it has been emotionally, physically and monetarily draining for them both... Like I said before, I wish there was more we could do to help them!
Well, we got back from dropping the horses off and I asked Danny if he got his new snake...He said he had... I asked...
"So how big is it?"
"She is 121 pounds and about 12-14 feet long"
"Well lets go see her!"
"You bet, lets go!!"
Most of Danny's snakes survived the fire as they were in another building. As we walked into the warm, humid building, I was getting excited to see the new snake... He took me to her tank, and here she is....She is a Burmese python, and ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!
It was nice to see all of the animals that survived and it was good to see Danny smiling as he showed me around to re-visit his babies.... This is about a 15 foot albino, reticulated python....She is not quite so nice, so I kept my hands out of her cage!
He has spoken of his anaconda a few times and I had seen her once, but for some reason, Anacondas remind me of a big ass water moccasin and the creep me out. I didn't see her in the cages and I said...
"Danny, where is your anaconda?"
And I was standing right next to a large Rubbermaid trash can and he said...
"Oh, she is right here!
Pulled the lid off, and no more than 3 feet from me was a 14 foot anaconda in a trashcan full of water with her head sitting on the top....I got IMMEDIATE goose bumps!!
He explained she was shedding and needed to be in the water to get the skin off of her better.... She would roll around int he tank and these large sheds of skin would float to the top and it creeped me out to think about walking through some water somewhere and seeing a piece of skin like this floating...Man, that would freak me OUT!! And not sure why, but this girl gives me the creeps!
We walked around a bit and I snapped a few shots of some of his other "babies"
LOOK AT THOSE EYES!!!!! DAMMIT MAN!!!!
As i was taking pics of the Cobra, I heard Danny say...
"Here Brad, check this guy out!"
And I turned around and he handed me this guy....A blue tongued skink.... I tried to get a picture of his tongue, but couldn't catch it...it is sky blue!! He is too cool!!
The place is coming along pretty good but it is still just heartwrenching to walk around the place and see the destruction....But the damaged building is gone and they have plans to build a 60x65 foot, cinder block building to replace what they lost. They are hoping for 3500sp feet, all cutting edge stuff to house their reptiles. Like I said, it is really good to hear the HOPE in their voices and see the smiles on their faces!
As we started to leave, I asked about one of his large snappers that almost got caught in the fire....he said...
"Oh yeah, he is over in that blue tank...Go pick him up and check him out!"
I had not seen this turtle before because he has always been in "green" water and you cant see him. I walked up to this blue tank that was partially melted from the fire, looked into it, saw clear water and a HUGGGE Snapping Turtle....I will bet you this turtle is all of 5-6 feet long from tip of his nose to tip of his tail and he weighs about 80lbs....His head is about the size of a basketball, or maybe a little bigger....He is a MONSTER turtle and I have NEVER seen one in person this big....Hell, I don't know if I have seen one on TV this big!! He is HUGE!!
Danny says....
"just reach in there and pick him up."
I looked at him and said ....
"F%^K YOU, that a big ass turtle man, he could literally bite my wrist in half...You are outta your mind!"
He said...
"No, really, just grab his shell from right behind his head, and grab the shell right by his tail, and just lift him up...It will be OK, I promise!"
I know Danny would never put me in a position to get hurt (without warning me) but I gotta tell ya, this big ole boy is....well....a BIG OLE BOY!!
So I reached into the tank like Danny said, grabbed him like he said, he started to swell up a little and move his head, and I took a deep breath and lifted him out...
He was SOOOOOO Cool man....Moved really slow, didn't react at all to me....
I put him back in the tank and Danny said....
"yeah, he is an old guy....He is about 115 years old!!!"
Think about that...that turtle is 115 years old!! Can you imagine the life this old guy has seen? The people who have probably picked him up and had him as a pet when he was a baby?? The different places he has been!!??
And to think, Danny saves turtles this big and bigger from hunters who sell them to restaurants.... I just couldn't imagine killing a 115 year old turtle to put him in a soup...Sad!
So we finished up the day, helped out Danny and Debbie and headed home.... I always really do enjoy my visits to their home....Always something new to see and experience...We are blessed to have them as friends!
Thanks guys!!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Lost In West Texas
After my promotion at BCFS, I found that there are certain tasks specific to management. Above and beyond managing the case managers and grants specific to the different programs at our center, I am also on an emergency response team that answers to natural disasters, and also part of the team that assists with the openings of new buildings and centers for our organization.
On January 16th, 2012, we opened a new Transition Center in Lubbock Texas. I was one of the management staff that went up to help coordinate the opening and assist wit the details for the opening and the all the details associated with it. I have to say, It is a beautiful center that will serve youth in that area in monumental ways...An absolutely beautiful office and the Director, Kami did a fantastic job pulling it all together.
Remember, as you browse through these pictures, this was a bare bones building....Just an empty space that was basically abandoned... Kami, her staff and her youth came together as a team and created something MAGICAL.... It is definitely going to be a task to "one up" her on our new Transition Center we plan on opening here in 2 years. I cant give her and her team enough kuddos for this effort and cant be more proud to be part of such a driven team!
So after the opening was completed, it was time to take the 5 hour drive back to Kerrville. I originally drove up with a couple of other Directors, but they are from San Antonio. To avoid an unnecessary stop, it was decided that I would drive back with my Executive Director (Terri) and her Administrative Assistant (Tish).
So you understand this a little better, let me give you a run down of how MUCH of my "boss this lady is.... I am a Program Director and I answer to Kimber....Kimber is a Senior Program Director and she answers to Jeremy....Jeremy is a Senior Executive Program Director....He answers to Terri....Terri is the Executive Director over Teen and Youth Services....Terri answers to Kevin....Kevin is the CEO! Get it??
Also keep in mind, that up to this point, I have probably had 10 minutes of conversation with Terri in my whole time with BCFS.... So you understand Terri.... She is a driven, dedicated and accomplished woman. She has a very powerful presence and can be somewhat intimidating. She is very matter of fact, and to the point. Its her way, and that's the way it is....PERIOD!! However, she also has a good sense of humor and a huge heart but I really only know about this portion of her personality through what others have told me.
So when it came time to head back to Lubbock, I had it made up I would just listen and ride along....I need to feel this out before I let "Brad" out of the box. I have sat and talked with Tish quite a few times, so I was familiar with her and her personality. As a matter of fact, Tish had picked me up the night before from the center in Lubbock and taken me back to my hotel. When she did, we got lost...Its all of a ten minute drive to my hotel from the center and Tish explained that this was the third time that day that she had gotten lost.
I could not resist!!!
I started in on Tish and how she is "like my wife" and "how can you get lost in Lubbock" and just jacked with her the WHOLE trip to my hotel...I even jacked with her the next morning before the opening....I was brutal!! She was a GREAT sport though.
So, after the specifics of the opening were done, speeches given, accolades and praise to youth, tours, food, community interactions, etc.... It was determined that not only would I be going back to Kerrville with my bosses, bosses boss..... I would be driving! YAY!!!!!!!!!
So as we started on the trip home, Tish stated that we should take Hwy 84 from Lubbock to Kerrville. I explained to her that there was a shorter route and it was the one we took up to Lubbock. It was about 4.5-5 hours of driving. When Tish and Terri heard that, they said "OK, lets go that way!" and we took off.
Now if you aren't familiar with West Texas, no need to go get yourself familiar with it....Its flat, its full of red dirt and tumbleweeds, oil pumps, cattle yards, and stinky air.... And the other thing, is when the wind blows, you are in a "red out" which is like a "white out" in the snow, except its the red dirt of West Texas.... Its amazing the dust in those storms.
Another thing about West Texas is the tumble weeds....They are the size of cars, literally!! And on this trip, the wind was blowing hard, the dust was thick, and the tumbleweeds were rolling across the highway about every 300 yards....It was like driving in an "Asteroids" game....70 miles an hour and dodging tumbleweeds bigger than the car we wee in....It was going to be QUITE the trip home....
Little did I know!
So as I settled in for the drive South, Tish and Terri broke out their I-Pads and we all started to chat. I was realizing that Terri was not as hardcore as I had her made out to be, Tish is light spirited and easy to talk to, so it was going to be a decent trip. We had fun dodging the tumbleweeds and as one would roll out in front of us, they would scream like "girls" as I swerved past them, missing them by inches....It was a fun start!!
The dust was terrible and there were times I couldn't see anymore than a couple of hundred yards in front of me... We were making our way through the small West Texas towns and Tish and Terri slipped off for a nap. I continued to drive and took in the "windshield time" to reflect on the weekend and what I had experienced with the team, seeing an old friend from High School that I hadn't seen in 10 years or spent time with for 20 years....Just gazing out the windshield, taking it all in.
I was driving for about an hour, while they slept, and then Tish woke up and looked at her phone, she said....
"Why are we almost in Odessa?"
"What?"
"Why are we almost in Odessa?"
"Whatever.... Don't start on me because you get lost easy!!"
"No, I am serious, we are almost in Odessa!"
I looked up at about that same time and saw a sign that said...
"Odessa 54 miles"
My heart SUNK!!! Odessa is about Three hours OFF the track fro where we were going.... My heart was racing, I was stunned and I said...
"OH SHIT!"
That woke up Terri in the back and she said....
"What? What happened?"
I said....
"Nothing boss.... Just go back to seepy seepy.... Go back to sleep and when you wake up it will all be juuuuussst fine!"
And I hoped she would and then I would just start heading east.... But no way!!
"No, whats going on?? Did you scratch up my car with one of those tumbleweeds??"
"Oh I wish boss, I wish!!"
"What then? What is it!!??"
"Uhhhhhmmmmm, welllllllll.......How would you like to have a nice view of Odessa Texas?"
"Whhhhhaaaaattttttttt? What did you do? What happened? Where are we??"
"I dont know Terri....I guess I got the highways mixed up...We are on Hwy 82, and should be on Hwy 87.... We are about 50 miles from Odessa.!!"
Now be assured, Tish is snickering in the passenger seat, stirring the pot and LOVING every minute of this!! She is also looking for the shortest route to re-direct us back to where we need to be. And then she starts...
"Oh, I know a quicker wayyyyy......I can get us there fasterrrrr.....You don't ever get losssstttt!!"
And all I can do is hush my mouth and take it!
So we realize, we have about 15-20 miles to drive before we can hit a hwy that will take us East to where we need to be. We pull into a small West Texas town and stop at a DQ so we could all pee and get a snack....Terri is starting in on me...
"I cant believe this!! Your a program director?? I hired you to do THAT job and you cant even get us home?? Not only did you get us lost, we are almost in New Mexico!"
Tish is laughing and adding to it.... and there is NOTHING I can say!
So we get back in the car, and Terrie gets on her computer to do what we call a "Sit Rep" Which is a situational awareness report that goes out to all of the management staff of BCFS. Let me explain these a little...
What these reports are designed to o is to keep all of the Management staff in tune with what is happening throughout the organization. With over 800 employees and 60+ management staff, there has to be a way fro us to stay tuned in to whats going on in the agency. So, what we do is sent out "situational awareness reports" on incidents that take place, good, bad, whatever....Anything that could make the press or get accolades for, we send it out to all of the management staff.
So Terri decided that this was going to require a Sit Rep for us being lost (jokingly of course) so she sent one out...
"Please make sure you are tracking my I-Phone and I-Pad for location purposes as the new Program Director, Brad Golden has gotten me lost in West Texas and I am somewhere near Odessa. If for some reason I don't make the morning management meeting, please send out search and rescue"
And sent it out to all of the management staff....Then it started!
Through our organization, all of our I-Phones are connected to
our e-mail and we are all required to have our I-Phones with us at all times...From the CEO down!
So here come the e-mails.....
They are brutal....
"Just to think that could have been us...Thanks for taking Brad Terri"
"Bet the back of my van is looking like the better option now huh Brad?"
"That's exactly why Gayle and I made him sit in the back seat on the way to Lubbock. You should have trailed us. We are already half way home! Grab us a jar of oil from a pump jack there in Odessa!"
"Terri, can I have your San Antonio office furniture?"
"You didn't have that problem when I was navigating or driving. Brad's license should be suspended!"
And it went on and on for 2 hours!!
I was driving so I couldn't join in the game and respond....
Finally, we get to some place like "Tarzan" Texas and stop for gas.... It was Tish's time to drive...So I joined in the game....
"Heeeeeelllllllppppp me PLEEEEZZZEEEE!!!!"
"The trunk of this car is really small, dark and cold, and I am scared. I hope we are close to home."
All the phones are dinging back and forth..... Terri gets my response and responds with...
"Tish, I thought you took his phone. We need to stop and get it."
and I responded....
"I would call 911, but I don't know where I am"
And this kept on going as well.... And keeping mind, I am getting consistently reminded of my navigation skills and the extra time we have on the trip, how incapable I am.... It was 4 hours of brutal assault on me from the management staff as well as Terri AND Tish....What was supposed to be a 5 hour trip turned into a 7.5 hour trip.
I told my boss while we were driving...
"You know, I always like to make an impression Boss...Have I?"
"Oh yes Brad, this will be a trip I wont forget, that's for sure!"
It was funny as I thought back on the weekend and hearing the other management staff make statements like....
"I remember when we opened the center in San Antonio and......"
"I remember when we opened the center in Kerrville and.........."
"I remember when we opened the center in Abilene and.........."
So I looked back at Terri and reminder her of all these stories and I said....
"Just look at it this way...When you talk about opening the center in Lubbock, you have a GREAT story to tell about it!"
She laughed and then went on about how at the next management meeting, there will be a shirt specific to me and the story will be told.... We laughed and joked about it all the way home! I have to say, it was the highlight of the trip and was a great way for me and my boss to get acquainted.... As odd as it was, there really are no accidents right?
So we got home later than expected, we were all worn out, and then we decided to come up with one last email to sent out to the management staff, butt his time we added a picture....
"Situational Awareness update:
We finally made it back to Kerrville! Thought you may need some reassurance that Brad survived his ride in the trunk."
On January 16th, 2012, we opened a new Transition Center in Lubbock Texas. I was one of the management staff that went up to help coordinate the opening and assist wit the details for the opening and the all the details associated with it. I have to say, It is a beautiful center that will serve youth in that area in monumental ways...An absolutely beautiful office and the Director, Kami did a fantastic job pulling it all together.
Remember, as you browse through these pictures, this was a bare bones building....Just an empty space that was basically abandoned... Kami, her staff and her youth came together as a team and created something MAGICAL.... It is definitely going to be a task to "one up" her on our new Transition Center we plan on opening here in 2 years. I cant give her and her team enough kuddos for this effort and cant be more proud to be part of such a driven team!
So after the opening was completed, it was time to take the 5 hour drive back to Kerrville. I originally drove up with a couple of other Directors, but they are from San Antonio. To avoid an unnecessary stop, it was decided that I would drive back with my Executive Director (Terri) and her Administrative Assistant (Tish).
So you understand this a little better, let me give you a run down of how MUCH of my "boss this lady is.... I am a Program Director and I answer to Kimber....Kimber is a Senior Program Director and she answers to Jeremy....Jeremy is a Senior Executive Program Director....He answers to Terri....Terri is the Executive Director over Teen and Youth Services....Terri answers to Kevin....Kevin is the CEO! Get it??
Also keep in mind, that up to this point, I have probably had 10 minutes of conversation with Terri in my whole time with BCFS.... So you understand Terri.... She is a driven, dedicated and accomplished woman. She has a very powerful presence and can be somewhat intimidating. She is very matter of fact, and to the point. Its her way, and that's the way it is....PERIOD!! However, she also has a good sense of humor and a huge heart but I really only know about this portion of her personality through what others have told me.
So when it came time to head back to Lubbock, I had it made up I would just listen and ride along....I need to feel this out before I let "Brad" out of the box. I have sat and talked with Tish quite a few times, so I was familiar with her and her personality. As a matter of fact, Tish had picked me up the night before from the center in Lubbock and taken me back to my hotel. When she did, we got lost...Its all of a ten minute drive to my hotel from the center and Tish explained that this was the third time that day that she had gotten lost.
I could not resist!!!
I started in on Tish and how she is "like my wife" and "how can you get lost in Lubbock" and just jacked with her the WHOLE trip to my hotel...I even jacked with her the next morning before the opening....I was brutal!! She was a GREAT sport though.
So, after the specifics of the opening were done, speeches given, accolades and praise to youth, tours, food, community interactions, etc.... It was determined that not only would I be going back to Kerrville with my bosses, bosses boss..... I would be driving! YAY!!!!!!!!!
So as we started on the trip home, Tish stated that we should take Hwy 84 from Lubbock to Kerrville. I explained to her that there was a shorter route and it was the one we took up to Lubbock. It was about 4.5-5 hours of driving. When Tish and Terri heard that, they said "OK, lets go that way!" and we took off.
Now if you aren't familiar with West Texas, no need to go get yourself familiar with it....Its flat, its full of red dirt and tumbleweeds, oil pumps, cattle yards, and stinky air.... And the other thing, is when the wind blows, you are in a "red out" which is like a "white out" in the snow, except its the red dirt of West Texas.... Its amazing the dust in those storms.
Another thing about West Texas is the tumble weeds....They are the size of cars, literally!! And on this trip, the wind was blowing hard, the dust was thick, and the tumbleweeds were rolling across the highway about every 300 yards....It was like driving in an "Asteroids" game....70 miles an hour and dodging tumbleweeds bigger than the car we wee in....It was going to be QUITE the trip home....
Little did I know!
So as I settled in for the drive South, Tish and Terri broke out their I-Pads and we all started to chat. I was realizing that Terri was not as hardcore as I had her made out to be, Tish is light spirited and easy to talk to, so it was going to be a decent trip. We had fun dodging the tumbleweeds and as one would roll out in front of us, they would scream like "girls" as I swerved past them, missing them by inches....It was a fun start!!
The dust was terrible and there were times I couldn't see anymore than a couple of hundred yards in front of me... We were making our way through the small West Texas towns and Tish and Terri slipped off for a nap. I continued to drive and took in the "windshield time" to reflect on the weekend and what I had experienced with the team, seeing an old friend from High School that I hadn't seen in 10 years or spent time with for 20 years....Just gazing out the windshield, taking it all in.
I was driving for about an hour, while they slept, and then Tish woke up and looked at her phone, she said....
"Why are we almost in Odessa?"
"What?"
"Why are we almost in Odessa?"
"Whatever.... Don't start on me because you get lost easy!!"
"No, I am serious, we are almost in Odessa!"
I looked up at about that same time and saw a sign that said...
"Odessa 54 miles"
My heart SUNK!!! Odessa is about Three hours OFF the track fro where we were going.... My heart was racing, I was stunned and I said...
"OH SHIT!"
That woke up Terri in the back and she said....
"What? What happened?"
I said....
"Nothing boss.... Just go back to seepy seepy.... Go back to sleep and when you wake up it will all be juuuuussst fine!"
And I hoped she would and then I would just start heading east.... But no way!!
"No, whats going on?? Did you scratch up my car with one of those tumbleweeds??"
"Oh I wish boss, I wish!!"
"What then? What is it!!??"
"Uhhhhhmmmmm, welllllllll.......How would you like to have a nice view of Odessa Texas?"
"Whhhhhaaaaattttttttt? What did you do? What happened? Where are we??"
"I dont know Terri....I guess I got the highways mixed up...We are on Hwy 82, and should be on Hwy 87.... We are about 50 miles from Odessa.!!"
Now be assured, Tish is snickering in the passenger seat, stirring the pot and LOVING every minute of this!! She is also looking for the shortest route to re-direct us back to where we need to be. And then she starts...
"Oh, I know a quicker wayyyyy......I can get us there fasterrrrr.....You don't ever get losssstttt!!"
And all I can do is hush my mouth and take it!
So we realize, we have about 15-20 miles to drive before we can hit a hwy that will take us East to where we need to be. We pull into a small West Texas town and stop at a DQ so we could all pee and get a snack....Terri is starting in on me...
"I cant believe this!! Your a program director?? I hired you to do THAT job and you cant even get us home?? Not only did you get us lost, we are almost in New Mexico!"
Tish is laughing and adding to it.... and there is NOTHING I can say!
So we get back in the car, and Terrie gets on her computer to do what we call a "Sit Rep" Which is a situational awareness report that goes out to all of the management staff of BCFS. Let me explain these a little...
What these reports are designed to o is to keep all of the Management staff in tune with what is happening throughout the organization. With over 800 employees and 60+ management staff, there has to be a way fro us to stay tuned in to whats going on in the agency. So, what we do is sent out "situational awareness reports" on incidents that take place, good, bad, whatever....Anything that could make the press or get accolades for, we send it out to all of the management staff.
So Terri decided that this was going to require a Sit Rep for us being lost (jokingly of course) so she sent one out...
"Please make sure you are tracking my I-Phone and I-Pad for location purposes as the new Program Director, Brad Golden has gotten me lost in West Texas and I am somewhere near Odessa. If for some reason I don't make the morning management meeting, please send out search and rescue"
And sent it out to all of the management staff....Then it started!
Through our organization, all of our I-Phones are connected to
our e-mail and we are all required to have our I-Phones with us at all times...From the CEO down!
So here come the e-mails.....
They are brutal....
"Just to think that could have been us...Thanks for taking Brad Terri"
"Bet the back of my van is looking like the better option now huh Brad?"
"That's exactly why Gayle and I made him sit in the back seat on the way to Lubbock. You should have trailed us. We are already half way home! Grab us a jar of oil from a pump jack there in Odessa!"
"Terri, can I have your San Antonio office furniture?"
"You didn't have that problem when I was navigating or driving. Brad's license should be suspended!"
And it went on and on for 2 hours!!
I was driving so I couldn't join in the game and respond....
Finally, we get to some place like "Tarzan" Texas and stop for gas.... It was Tish's time to drive...So I joined in the game....
"Heeeeeelllllllppppp me PLEEEEZZZEEEE!!!!"
"The trunk of this car is really small, dark and cold, and I am scared. I hope we are close to home."
All the phones are dinging back and forth..... Terri gets my response and responds with...
"Tish, I thought you took his phone. We need to stop and get it."
and I responded....
"I would call 911, but I don't know where I am"
And this kept on going as well.... And keeping mind, I am getting consistently reminded of my navigation skills and the extra time we have on the trip, how incapable I am.... It was 4 hours of brutal assault on me from the management staff as well as Terri AND Tish....What was supposed to be a 5 hour trip turned into a 7.5 hour trip.
I told my boss while we were driving...
"You know, I always like to make an impression Boss...Have I?"
"Oh yes Brad, this will be a trip I wont forget, that's for sure!"
It was funny as I thought back on the weekend and hearing the other management staff make statements like....
"I remember when we opened the center in San Antonio and......"
"I remember when we opened the center in Kerrville and.........."
"I remember when we opened the center in Abilene and.........."
So I looked back at Terri and reminder her of all these stories and I said....
"Just look at it this way...When you talk about opening the center in Lubbock, you have a GREAT story to tell about it!"
She laughed and then went on about how at the next management meeting, there will be a shirt specific to me and the story will be told.... We laughed and joked about it all the way home! I have to say, it was the highlight of the trip and was a great way for me and my boss to get acquainted.... As odd as it was, there really are no accidents right?
So we got home later than expected, we were all worn out, and then we decided to come up with one last email to sent out to the management staff, butt his time we added a picture....
"Situational Awareness update:
We finally made it back to Kerrville! Thought you may need some reassurance that Brad survived his ride in the trunk."
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