I am sorry that I haven't been blogging as regularly as I should, but since my promotion, I have been concentrating on how to pursue this job with excellence in the same fashion I pursue most of the rest of my life. Yesterday I got a glimpse of JUST how big of the "thing" I am a part of.
I look back at my blogs and my time unemployed and I reflect about how discouraged I was....How lost I was....How badly I was holding on to the beliefs I have had for the past ten years....And questioning those!
I remember in my struggles thinking that the old sayings like ...
"The greater the sacrifice, the greater the reward"
or
"GIVE, and you will be rewarded 10 fold"
or
"live you life to serve others and the life you live will serve you"
I was unemployed, 10 months, struggling to make bills, serving others, giving, caring, helping, never giving up...etc...
And then I was about to give up!!
I took my job with BCFS with reservations and with a very "right" idea that THIS was not what I wanted but I needed a job....So I took it....
Now don't get me wrong, I knew the job was going to have me back in service to people and making a difference, it just didn't "look" like what I THOUGHT was what I wanted...
So I took the job with the enthusiasm and drive to make the best of it and worked hard because I had 38 souls counting on me to show them a path to something different, but I still felt like this just wasn't the place.... However, I knew that if this was the job, if this was where I was going to move forward, it was going to be great...BUT, I "settled" for less than what I THOUGHT I wanted...BECAUSE I needed a job.
For those of you following my blogs, you know that it opened up to be something bigger than I imagined and my heart was always going to the BEST of the situation. Then I got RIGHT again about my position....
I was offered this promotion THREE times before I took it, and then even this promotion I took with reservations and ONLY took it because I stayed in touch with my beliefs...
"If something comes back to you again and again, THAT is feedback, and I MUST pay attention to feedback and even against my reasoning, I took the job SOLELY because I realized it was a process, it was the Universe, God, distinctions...WHATEVER.... I just knew that this would not show up THIS many times and NOT be right.
So I took the job completely based on trusting the process and paying attention to what was showing up again, and again, and again...AGAINST my "better judgement."
I took the job with reservations and fears because I had "settled" with my position and realized that apparently, THIS is my calling and THIS is where I am supposed to be...It wasn't the money, it wasn't the job I wanted, BUT, it was something I was CONFIDENT in and KNEW was something I could do in COMPLETE excellence....And without patting myself on the back too much, I drove forward with confidence that THIS is where I am supposed to be. I settled in, accepted my destiny and then the promotion showed up.
I turned it down the first time because I didn't want to leave the kids and I was COMFORTABLE! I could do this job with my eyes closed and do it well...I KNEW THAT!!
The promotion came back to me again and again, I turned it down. I was still right about where I was, I was the "shining star" in my performance and actions (in my eyes anyway) and figured that there was no need to walk away from it...I could be comfortable here (not content, but comfortable) and still make an impact...serve others, impact lives, SERVE!!
The job came back to me a third time and this time it came at me like a bulldozer (and the bulldozers name is KIMBER!). I argued, I reasoned, I made excuses, and then realized IN THE MOMENT "This is the third time, the universe is talking to me....TAKE IT BRAD, but take it on YOUR terms" and I knew if it was on my terms, then I HAD to trust the process and go back to what I KNEW was THE way! So I accepted the job.
When I accepted the job, I did so with terms and telling my boss "I am NOT working 15 hour days, I am NOT going to spend the majority of my time in this position...I was going to have a life OUTSIDE of this job"....And My boss gave me the green light with those terms (and others) so I said "Yes, I will take it...Lets do it" and did so on trust, and ultimately on TRUST ALONE!
Once I got the job, my fears showed up in a HUGE way...I was pulling away from the kids, I was seeing kids struggle without me there, I had kids coming to me in tears for fear that I was leaving them, and I started to question my decision... I was really thinking "maybe this wasn't the right thing!"
I was in uncharted territory, I was working in an arena I didn't know, I was lost, confused, scared, feeling like I wasn't capable of the requirements this job would need to be successful....I was questioning myself AGAIN in all of this.
About a week after taking the position, I went to a large recognition ceremony from our community that focused on my organization...And then the SHIFT started to happen!
I got a GLIMPSE of what BCFS is all about
I tell people I work with...Parents, kids, friends, general people...I have an idea that I think is important and this is what I say...
"No matter what you do in your life, no matter what path you take....Make sure that at least ONE time in your life, you be active in SOMETHING bigger than yourself and when you do that, you find yourself and what really makes a difference in this world"
Now I tell people to at least do this once in their life....ME myself, I TRULY work hard to make my life ALL About that.... I WANT to ALWAYS be involved in my life with something bigger than me.... I got a small glimpse that I was still living that declaration in my life.... BCFS, at that moment, slapped me in the face and said...
"Yes, you ARE BEING that!" I was ENERGIZED and that "maniac on a mission" part of me started to rise to the top of my BEING!
So I took the job and now am the Program Director for the case management portion of four programs.... As I stepped into the position, not only did I realize I was part of something bigger than myself, but I might have bit off more than I could chew....
I got scared, insecure, worried and I don't do well in "insecurity"...as a mater of fact, when I feel insecure in what I think are my abilities, I start to pull away and get scared...When I get scared, I get unsure...When I get unsure, I get frustrated, when I get frustrated I get mad....Its my defense mechanism!
So yesterday, since I am "management" now, I got to attend my first MEC meeting. This is a meeting for ONLY management of out organization and its quarterly.
Quickly what I realized was this meeting is designed to show the management of our organization that we are part of something AMAZING!
We, as humans, get caught up in the DRIFT so much and while in the drift, we lose sight of the bigger picture because all of our focus is on the task at hand. THIS meeting is designed to pull you out of the drift and REMIND you that your efforts IN the drift are making huge differences in the life's of thousands, if not literally MILLIONS of lives of others in need....
As the meeting started, they had all of the directors of each program our organization is involved in to show all of the rest of us what they are up to...In that, you get the opportunity to SEE that you are simply a piece of the puzzle, but without your piece, the puzzle just cant be complete....So as the directors of each program stood up, the veil covering my eyes started to lift, and I was moved not only to speechlessness, I was LITERALLY moved to tears....So let me explain what I by accident became a part of.
BCFS is WORLD WIDE (www.bcfs.net) and we are growing at a rate that the CEO described as "light speed"
So here is just a glimpse of what my eyes were opened to.... The information I am giving you, I had NO IDEA of, and I THOUGHT I had done my research....I realized I had a very limited idea of what we do and what we are up to
in 2005, or organization had a budget of 10 million dollars to run our services to serve others.... Just 6 years later, we have grown soooooo much that our operating budget for 2011 is 37 MILLION dollars.
our budget for 2112 is targeted to be 41.7 million and is projected to reach 45 million by the end of that year.
We now have hired the media management organization to serve our organization that managed the First President Bush's media relations for his campaign...And we did that because the exponential expansion of our organization has demanded a media relations company....This is something I really had a very limited understanding of, but once I heard it explained, I realized the necessity of this company...To grow this fast, and this large, we NEED to have a professional organization to manage this because of the reaches we have in different areas of the world.
I knew we were World Wide, but again, my limited ideas and views of where we are in the World was so limited....So let me explain... Remember, as you read this, we are a NON PROFIT ORGANIZATION.
In the United States, we have offices in
Texas
Abilene
Boerne
Corpus Christi
Dallas
Del Rio
Harligen
Kerrville
Laredo
Lubbock
McAllen
Tyler
California
Fairfield
Los Angeles
Sacramento
Illinois
Chicago
Arizona
Phoenix
Florida
Miami
Colorado
Nathrop
New York
Manhatten
Latin America
Eastern Europe
Africa
Southeast Asia
Our Services we provide
Emergency Shelters, CARE programs, Therapeutic Group Homes, CAPS, CARE, Transitional Services for fostered youth and troubled teens, Education services, employment services, TX.DFPS Contractors for child placement, foster care, adoptions, abuse and neglect, Head Start programs, Job Training, Adoption and regulation of those services and homes, a coffee shop with catering services, Healthy birth support (65 in Laredo Texas last year ALONE), Construction and Trade education, Emergence Services fro natural disasters, State Emergency Operations management on the Federal Level, NATION WIDE, First contracts for Govt Emergency Response teams, Data gathering in disaster situations that constitute Presidential Directives to recover monies for people and families affected by Natural Disasters.
Last year ALONE, BCFS Emergency Response team responded to disasters in...
Washington, California, Nevada, Colorado, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas Louisiana, Georgia Florida, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Lake Michigan, Maine, Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands.
We develop emergency plans for corporations...We are an intrical part of the United States Response plane....Meetings in regards to Natural Disasters don't take place without us present....If a (God Forbid) Dirty Bomb were to go off in Withcita Kansas tonight, WE would be the first organization contacted to response outside of Government entities.
We have THE largest Special Needs Residential facility for adults in the United States and are on the verge of being completely self sufficient (Breckenridge Village in Tyler Texas).
We are the fastest growing Baptist Organization in the USA...That is above Baylor and Buckner (sp?)
We have a child's ranch in Colorado... And this doesn't even touch on our impact and involvement in Moldova (Russia I think?) Shi Lanka, Mexico, Asia, and many other foreign and third world countries where we serve fostered youth and work to stop the sex trade industry in those countries.
I am sure I am missing some things because I was so overwhelmed with JUST this information that my head was such a buzz, I am sure I missed some things
We have over 90 budgets now and 5-10 years ago, we had less than a dozen. 18 years ago, our CEO started this organization that was teetering on the edge of failure with three employees. And now we have a target to reach 2020 with a 100 million dollar budget and double our staff that we have now of 800....
Man, I just cannot explain how touched, overwhelmed and stunned I am that I am a PART of something THIS much bigger than myself. I ma truly blessed to be a part of this organization and as of yesterday, I realized that the dreams I have had for a VERY large part of my life to be a part of an organization that is TRULY making an impact in the world has happened...I AM HERE!! I am seeing the visions of what my desires and dreams have been to serve others have now unfolded in front of me.
As I look back at my hesitation, my questioning about getting on board here, my fears that I would ever find the dreams that I had to strive for in my life have now, ALMOST overnight, have become a reality.
As this all unfolded in front of me, with tears running down my cheeks, I reflected back to my conversations with my boss about not wanting to work 15 hour days, realizing how selfish that was, I leaned in to speak with her at the meeting and said...
"Those 15 hour days I told ya about??? Well I am in for those now!"
I will happily work 15 hour days to make this vision more of a reality and really LIVE the dream I have had, and written down in my goals, a reality.....
Funny how the Universe talks to you....Ask, and you shall receive....Just don't get so locked into what you have made up as your "path" that you lose sight of the path next to you that is the "fast track" to making the life you want happen!
I am humbled, I am touched...I AM BLESSED!!! And without letting my ego get in the way of this....ITS BECAUSE I SAID SO!!
OWTFDWIT!!!
THIS has become something so much bigger than I ever imagined it could be, but it as JUST as big as I ever imagined I wanted it to be!!
And to think of where I came from, the adversities I faced, the struggles I had, the self destructive behaviours I have had throughout my life....And am now really seeing that my life is what I envision it to be, what I declare it to be, and what I am now living.....
I am at a moment, RIGHT NOW, where I am just stunned, flabbergasted and overwhelmed to see that all the philosophical truths that have been spoken over the ages really ARE truths.... Its just a matter of never giving up, always moving forward, making sure that to attain your dreams, you HAVE to declare them and trust that life will lead you JUST where you want to go....If you TRUST THE PROCESS!!
Whoever is up there listening to my dreams and desires....THANK YOU for this answer!!
I am truly HUMBLED by what has unfolded in these last few months and am laughing at how I lost my way and was on the edge of giving up and re-thinking the processes of what I BELIEVED was what would make MY life happen....
PAY ATTENTION, life WILL happen for you...Just don't ever stop the pursuit of your dreams....EVER!!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Brandi
I am not sure where to even start with this girl but I want to make sure i document what has taken place with her over this last year.
Brandi graduated with her Undergrad and is moving forward to attain her Doctorate in Physical Therapy. She went to work assitsting Physical Therapists as a type of intern in Fredericksburg.
As part of her duties, she was assigned a task to search out vendors to replace the physical therapy equipment. It was a simple task to just get the information of the vendors available and their prices. Her, being the overachiever she is, went above and beyond and found all the vendors, gathered all their information, the stats, the service plans, the prices, the contact person... EVERYTHING....She put them in binders with covers and then created a presentation to give to the bosses and the CEO.
The CEO was so impresed that he thanked her personally. As a result of her efforts, a contriutor gave a huge check to the organization to attain the physical therapy equipment....The CEO was so impressed with Brandi, that he took her to the acceptance ceremony and let HER accept the donation check....SUCH a proud moment for her and for us...She is one hell of a young woman!
She has two young boys, does it all on her own, asks us for very little help and just continuosly DRIVES FORWARD to make life happen on HER terms...She is an AMAZING young woman!
She started to apply for graduate schools and in her efforts for that, the CEO of her organization gave her a letter of reccomendation...In that letter of reccomendation, he stated that upon her graduation from PT school, he would have a job waiting on her....Again, she hits it out of the park!
She turns in her application for Graduate School with Texas State and was dissapointed to find out that she did not have a GPA in science that was high enough for their standards....she had a 3.2 and they wanted a 3.5 GPA....So they denied her application and she was really upset about it. She came to talk to me and I told her that it was simple....Texas State just isnt the school for her!
The next day she was contacted by her COO of the organization she works for and he told her he wanted to have her GRE test score and her grades from Undergrad. Come to find out, the COO has connections at University of Texas and is starting the efforts to use his contacts to get Brandi into school there. Once again, my chest pops out full of pride for what brandi has stepped up and done with her life...So very cool!!
When the COO met with her, he told her that he didnt want financial probems to stop her from applying for school as the application fee is 125.00. He explained that he had gone around to all of the other employees and that all contributed to Brandi to raise the money for her application fee....The girl is just an inspiration!! From where she has come from to where she is now is amazing...Where she will go is limitless!!
Brandi graduated with her Undergrad and is moving forward to attain her Doctorate in Physical Therapy. She went to work assitsting Physical Therapists as a type of intern in Fredericksburg.
As part of her duties, she was assigned a task to search out vendors to replace the physical therapy equipment. It was a simple task to just get the information of the vendors available and their prices. Her, being the overachiever she is, went above and beyond and found all the vendors, gathered all their information, the stats, the service plans, the prices, the contact person... EVERYTHING....She put them in binders with covers and then created a presentation to give to the bosses and the CEO.
The CEO was so impresed that he thanked her personally. As a result of her efforts, a contriutor gave a huge check to the organization to attain the physical therapy equipment....The CEO was so impressed with Brandi, that he took her to the acceptance ceremony and let HER accept the donation check....SUCH a proud moment for her and for us...She is one hell of a young woman!
She has two young boys, does it all on her own, asks us for very little help and just continuosly DRIVES FORWARD to make life happen on HER terms...She is an AMAZING young woman!
She started to apply for graduate schools and in her efforts for that, the CEO of her organization gave her a letter of reccomendation...In that letter of reccomendation, he stated that upon her graduation from PT school, he would have a job waiting on her....Again, she hits it out of the park!
She turns in her application for Graduate School with Texas State and was dissapointed to find out that she did not have a GPA in science that was high enough for their standards....she had a 3.2 and they wanted a 3.5 GPA....So they denied her application and she was really upset about it. She came to talk to me and I told her that it was simple....Texas State just isnt the school for her!
The next day she was contacted by her COO of the organization she works for and he told her he wanted to have her GRE test score and her grades from Undergrad. Come to find out, the COO has connections at University of Texas and is starting the efforts to use his contacts to get Brandi into school there. Once again, my chest pops out full of pride for what brandi has stepped up and done with her life...So very cool!!
When the COO met with her, he told her that he didnt want financial probems to stop her from applying for school as the application fee is 125.00. He explained that he had gone around to all of the other employees and that all contributed to Brandi to raise the money for her application fee....The girl is just an inspiration!! From where she has come from to where she is now is amazing...Where she will go is limitless!!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thanksgiving
I am generally not one that enjoys the Holidays all that much. It is told to us to be the season of giving and a time of thanks, but I am torn...
I have more people close to me that struggle through the holidays than clebrate them (or so it seems) and every year I have friends who pass away in some form or fashion in this "blessed" time. The time has become so commercialized and the idea of one family sitting around one table for one meal is no longer a reality in the world I understand.
Divorced families, family drama, life struggles, no money to get gifts, going into debt to get "things" for people and it seems the idea of community, connection and togetherness has dropped down the list of things that are important in this "blessed" time.
Now its how many family members houses do you have to get to to "make your rounds" or what drama is going to unfold with which family member at what time during this "together time."
I feel bad sometimes because my distaste for the holidays has resulted in a limited participation in the Holidays. Me and Donna's kids are grown, have their own lives now and generally don't have the time or money to come visit us during the holidays. Generally there is so much drama in their lives and with whoever it is they are choosing to spent their lives with that it causes us to be separated from them.
Not so much because we cant "tolerate" them, but because we cant TRUST them in our house to not steal or just be out of integrity (its deeper than just this too).
I do have to say I was blessed with parents who have always seen the value of the Holidays and this time to be together but they are a long way away from me and time and cost restraints stops us from being together during the holidays. Luckily, this year, we have worked it out to be home for Christmas....I am VERY excited about that as we will be bringing Brandi and the boys for their first trip to Colorado. It will also be the first time I have been home for Christmas in about 8 years.... it warms my heart to know I will be with my family this year!
I still do see the value in the GIVING portion of the Holidays and if I cant be near my family, I want to do something to give and am looking forward to serving dinner at the Salvation Army for those far less fortunate than me.
I still understand the value of the Holidays and it "tis the season for giving" so I will do my part in that, but to "celebrate" these hard times is not something I see as reasonable.
I have lost an old friend recently, have another who is struggling with family problems so completely unbelievable, I don't know how he is keeping his sanity intact. Donna's family is scattered all over the place and generally don't get together for the holidays nor do we have much of a desire to go spend the holidays with them because of the lives they choose to live....Not because we judge, but because it just isn't a life we want to be near or around...Its not something that serves us or our lives and is generally much more of a struggle than it is an enjoyment...And togetherness should be enjoyable, not a struggle!
I have been labeled as The Grinch now by my daughter, grand-kids and wife...They play it as a joke, but it is a real thing. I really don't care for the Holidays because it really is hypocritical....A time for rejoicing, giving thanks, togetherness, connection, caring, love and compassion...but generally filled with struggle, hurt, drama, entitlement, loss, and hurt....
I will end this by doing my part to represent this particular Holiday though....
I am thankful for.....
My wife
My kids
My grandchildren
My family in Colorado
My job
The place I live
The job i have
The kids in my life now that remind me how blessed I am and show me everyday
The life Donna and I have created TOGETHER
That I have a warm bed, a decent little house, a garage to sit in and reflect, my music, my Harley, my friends, my little office where I can sit and type this out, the people in my life that encourage and support me from afar and through the web, those who read my blogs and tell me that it helps them through their day, the memories I have of lost friends, the life ahead of me, my animals, that I am walking, talking, healthy and still have my sense of humor in spite of it all!
I have SOOOOO much to be thankful for and SOOO many people to thank for that....To those of you that do read this...I appreciate you and am happy that I have you here to spend your time reading this.
Although the world outside of me happens no matter what, my immediate reality is in my control...And although I might not be sitting around a table with friends and loved ones giving thanks, don't ever think I am not thankful for all I have listed here and more.
I am convinced and know without a doubt that I am TRULY blessed for the life I have and am living...And It is all of you in it that helps make it a reality for me....Thank you all and I hope your Holidays are blessed, filled with happiness and connection....
For those of you struggling in these times...My heart is with you and I know that its tough. Hang on, get through it, and get past it....Life can be so much bigger than this instant and even in the hardest of times, BIG THINGS are on the horizon for you....Just don't turn away from the Sunrise because I truly believe....Tomorrow is an even BIGGER day!
Peace and love to all of you out there.... GIVE more than you GET....LOVE more than you are LOVED...HUG more than you are HUGGED and keep a clear focus on the path ahead....GREATNESS awaits us all!! Of that I have NO DOUBTS!!
Peace..... Brad
I have more people close to me that struggle through the holidays than clebrate them (or so it seems) and every year I have friends who pass away in some form or fashion in this "blessed" time. The time has become so commercialized and the idea of one family sitting around one table for one meal is no longer a reality in the world I understand.
Divorced families, family drama, life struggles, no money to get gifts, going into debt to get "things" for people and it seems the idea of community, connection and togetherness has dropped down the list of things that are important in this "blessed" time.
Now its how many family members houses do you have to get to to "make your rounds" or what drama is going to unfold with which family member at what time during this "together time."
I feel bad sometimes because my distaste for the holidays has resulted in a limited participation in the Holidays. Me and Donna's kids are grown, have their own lives now and generally don't have the time or money to come visit us during the holidays. Generally there is so much drama in their lives and with whoever it is they are choosing to spent their lives with that it causes us to be separated from them.
Not so much because we cant "tolerate" them, but because we cant TRUST them in our house to not steal or just be out of integrity (its deeper than just this too).
I do have to say I was blessed with parents who have always seen the value of the Holidays and this time to be together but they are a long way away from me and time and cost restraints stops us from being together during the holidays. Luckily, this year, we have worked it out to be home for Christmas....I am VERY excited about that as we will be bringing Brandi and the boys for their first trip to Colorado. It will also be the first time I have been home for Christmas in about 8 years.... it warms my heart to know I will be with my family this year!
I still do see the value in the GIVING portion of the Holidays and if I cant be near my family, I want to do something to give and am looking forward to serving dinner at the Salvation Army for those far less fortunate than me.
I still understand the value of the Holidays and it "tis the season for giving" so I will do my part in that, but to "celebrate" these hard times is not something I see as reasonable.
I have lost an old friend recently, have another who is struggling with family problems so completely unbelievable, I don't know how he is keeping his sanity intact. Donna's family is scattered all over the place and generally don't get together for the holidays nor do we have much of a desire to go spend the holidays with them because of the lives they choose to live....Not because we judge, but because it just isn't a life we want to be near or around...Its not something that serves us or our lives and is generally much more of a struggle than it is an enjoyment...And togetherness should be enjoyable, not a struggle!
I have been labeled as The Grinch now by my daughter, grand-kids and wife...They play it as a joke, but it is a real thing. I really don't care for the Holidays because it really is hypocritical....A time for rejoicing, giving thanks, togetherness, connection, caring, love and compassion...but generally filled with struggle, hurt, drama, entitlement, loss, and hurt....
I will end this by doing my part to represent this particular Holiday though....
I am thankful for.....
My wife
My kids
My grandchildren
My family in Colorado
My job
The place I live
The job i have
The kids in my life now that remind me how blessed I am and show me everyday
The life Donna and I have created TOGETHER
That I have a warm bed, a decent little house, a garage to sit in and reflect, my music, my Harley, my friends, my little office where I can sit and type this out, the people in my life that encourage and support me from afar and through the web, those who read my blogs and tell me that it helps them through their day, the memories I have of lost friends, the life ahead of me, my animals, that I am walking, talking, healthy and still have my sense of humor in spite of it all!
I have SOOOOO much to be thankful for and SOOO many people to thank for that....To those of you that do read this...I appreciate you and am happy that I have you here to spend your time reading this.
Although the world outside of me happens no matter what, my immediate reality is in my control...And although I might not be sitting around a table with friends and loved ones giving thanks, don't ever think I am not thankful for all I have listed here and more.
I am convinced and know without a doubt that I am TRULY blessed for the life I have and am living...And It is all of you in it that helps make it a reality for me....Thank you all and I hope your Holidays are blessed, filled with happiness and connection....
For those of you struggling in these times...My heart is with you and I know that its tough. Hang on, get through it, and get past it....Life can be so much bigger than this instant and even in the hardest of times, BIG THINGS are on the horizon for you....Just don't turn away from the Sunrise because I truly believe....Tomorrow is an even BIGGER day!
Peace and love to all of you out there.... GIVE more than you GET....LOVE more than you are LOVED...HUG more than you are HUGGED and keep a clear focus on the path ahead....GREATNESS awaits us all!! Of that I have NO DOUBTS!!
Peace..... Brad
Monday, November 21, 2011
The accident
Today we took a group of youth to our annual Thanksgiving dinner for the youth in our care. We had a WONDERFUL turnout, they played some cool give-away games and one of my kids won twice. The food was good, the energy was great and it was nice to see some of our kids having a GREAT time!
Since I was in San Antonio and had not seen our main office, I wanted to go with a group of youth from another program through BCFS who were going to the Transition Center in San Antonio to get a feel for it and maybe meet some of the people that I will surely be working with in the near future with my recent promotion.
After the luncheon, I jumped into the truck with the youth as a passenger and we headed towards the main office. There was some confusion from the youth in regards to how to get to the office from our location. We tuned into our phones to get directions and made our way.
The sky opened up and it started to rain, and as is common here after long periods of rain, the roads were slick. The youth driving was a little frustrated with getting turned around and when we finally figured out where we were, we took the turn around and headed towards the office.
The young man driving was going a little fast, but nothing over the speed limit and wasn't being reckless and came up on a line of traffic stopped for the light. He started to brake and I knew instantly that there was no way we were going to be able to stop in time. Because of the heavy traffic, there was no lane to escape to so he did a great job at trying to apply the brakes and we went into a slide...he did well....Off the brakes, on the brakes, off the brakes on the brakes....But it was useless....
I secured myself in the back seat, planted my feet for the impact and at about 10-15 miles an hour, we slid into the back of a trailer on a semi truck. When we hit, there was a cooler in the back seat that had sodas and water in it and once we hit, the cooler exploded and we were covered in water. We didn't realize the cooler had water in it so when it happened, the water exploding throughout the cab kinda freaked us all out.
Well, we hit the trailer hard enough to damage the truck to where the radiator was punctured and the vehicle wasn't going to be drivable...At least not for very far.
Immediately I asked the youth in the vehicle with me if they were ok, re-affirmed it a couple of times, checked them out quickly for any possible injuries, and after making sure they were OK, got out of the truck to check on the driver of the other truck. Of course, there was NO damage to the trailer as we hit the bar on the trailer designed to stop vehicles from crashing into and sliding under the trailer.
Once I found everyone was OK, I went back to the youth I was with, told him to turn off the ignition and to get out of the vehicle and onto the side of the roadway in a safe spot in case someone were to slide into the accident. The driver of the big truck said he called his dispatch and the police were on the way.
I called all of my bosses and explained what had just taken place and just waited for the police to get there. I knew very well that being in San Antonio, after lunch time, we were going to be there a while.
After about 20-25 minutes, a traffic unit fro SAPD arrived on scene and called on his PA...
"Where are the occupants of this truck"
And I walked up to him standing on the curb. He called for me to come to him and said in an almost yelling voice and a real pissy tone...
"So why is that truck siting there?"
"Because it was in a wreck."
"Why hasn't it been moved?"
"Because we were waiting on you and didn't want to move the vehicles from the scene."
He rolled his eyes, took a deep breath and said...
"Where is the driver of the other truck?"
"I don't know, I think he is in the truck?"
"Is this your truck?"
"No, its my company truck."
"Jeeeezus....."
He rolled his eyes again, slammed his unit into park and started to exit his unit. You could tell he was angry and upset (why, I have no idea) and I said...
"Officer, there is no reason to be rude..."
And was going to tell him this was a young man who hadn't been in an accident before and he exited his unit quickly, rushed up to about 3 inches from my face, stared me in the eye and said ....
"What did you just say?!"
With his chest out, in an aggressive approach....
I stood and didnt move and said...
"There is no reason to be rude."
He stepped a little closer and said...
"You better watch your mouth!"
"Watch my mouth??? I am just saying there is no reason to be rude." and stood there looking at him...
"Are you the driver of this truck?"
"No."
"Then why are you over here?"
"Because you called me over here!"
"I didn't call you over here!"
"Officer, why would I be standing in the middle of a roadway with traffic all around if you didn't call me over here?"
"I will tell you what, why don't you go over there where the witnesses stand and shut your mouth?!"
"Yes sir, I will be happy to do that!"
Of course, with a smirk on my face and shaking my head as I walked away.
He went to the other driver and started to get his information....Being short, rude and just plain ugly...
I mean THIS GUY was more pissed off than those of us in the accident!
Then he went to the young man driving and was abrupt, rude and just unprofessional.... The young man told him this was his first real accident and it was clear he was really nervous. There was no reason for this guy to act like this....It was a minor accident, no injuries, everyone did like they were supposed to do and I was a bit "miffed" about how he was dealing with this young man.... Maybe it was just me trying to protect this young man from some jerk-off cop with an attitude.
We got the vehicles off the roadway and the officer went into his duties to get the paperwork together. It wasn't until he got to the portion of the report that asked about injuries that he even asked if everyone was OK....Maybe he was just having a bad day or maybe he was just a jerk....But man, just soooo un-called for.
I had to take a couple of pictures of the damage and figured I would snap a picture of this guy "working"...
As I was standing there, I reflected about my time in the field and remembered I had been a TOOL a few times myself, but I don't ever recall being such a jerk to just average citizens in a minor accident.... Guess it was a little KARMA coming back to me!
Once again, I am reminded WHY I left that past profession and am SOOOOOO happy I am no longer in that field. If it WASN'T just a bad day, sure has to be a miserable life to walk around that pissed off all the time AND at such minor infractions....Cant imagine what this guy must be like on a "real" scene....
GEESH!! REEEEEEELLLAAAAXXXX man...REEEEE-LAX!!
Happy Monday.....TIS THE SEASON!! ;-)
Since I was in San Antonio and had not seen our main office, I wanted to go with a group of youth from another program through BCFS who were going to the Transition Center in San Antonio to get a feel for it and maybe meet some of the people that I will surely be working with in the near future with my recent promotion.
After the luncheon, I jumped into the truck with the youth as a passenger and we headed towards the main office. There was some confusion from the youth in regards to how to get to the office from our location. We tuned into our phones to get directions and made our way.
The sky opened up and it started to rain, and as is common here after long periods of rain, the roads were slick. The youth driving was a little frustrated with getting turned around and when we finally figured out where we were, we took the turn around and headed towards the office.
The young man driving was going a little fast, but nothing over the speed limit and wasn't being reckless and came up on a line of traffic stopped for the light. He started to brake and I knew instantly that there was no way we were going to be able to stop in time. Because of the heavy traffic, there was no lane to escape to so he did a great job at trying to apply the brakes and we went into a slide...he did well....Off the brakes, on the brakes, off the brakes on the brakes....But it was useless....
I secured myself in the back seat, planted my feet for the impact and at about 10-15 miles an hour, we slid into the back of a trailer on a semi truck. When we hit, there was a cooler in the back seat that had sodas and water in it and once we hit, the cooler exploded and we were covered in water. We didn't realize the cooler had water in it so when it happened, the water exploding throughout the cab kinda freaked us all out.
Well, we hit the trailer hard enough to damage the truck to where the radiator was punctured and the vehicle wasn't going to be drivable...At least not for very far.
Immediately I asked the youth in the vehicle with me if they were ok, re-affirmed it a couple of times, checked them out quickly for any possible injuries, and after making sure they were OK, got out of the truck to check on the driver of the other truck. Of course, there was NO damage to the trailer as we hit the bar on the trailer designed to stop vehicles from crashing into and sliding under the trailer.
Once I found everyone was OK, I went back to the youth I was with, told him to turn off the ignition and to get out of the vehicle and onto the side of the roadway in a safe spot in case someone were to slide into the accident. The driver of the big truck said he called his dispatch and the police were on the way.
I called all of my bosses and explained what had just taken place and just waited for the police to get there. I knew very well that being in San Antonio, after lunch time, we were going to be there a while.
After about 20-25 minutes, a traffic unit fro SAPD arrived on scene and called on his PA...
"Where are the occupants of this truck"
And I walked up to him standing on the curb. He called for me to come to him and said in an almost yelling voice and a real pissy tone...
"So why is that truck siting there?"
"Because it was in a wreck."
"Why hasn't it been moved?"
"Because we were waiting on you and didn't want to move the vehicles from the scene."
He rolled his eyes, took a deep breath and said...
"Where is the driver of the other truck?"
"I don't know, I think he is in the truck?"
"Is this your truck?"
"No, its my company truck."
"Jeeeezus....."
He rolled his eyes again, slammed his unit into park and started to exit his unit. You could tell he was angry and upset (why, I have no idea) and I said...
"Officer, there is no reason to be rude..."
And was going to tell him this was a young man who hadn't been in an accident before and he exited his unit quickly, rushed up to about 3 inches from my face, stared me in the eye and said ....
"What did you just say?!"
With his chest out, in an aggressive approach....
I stood and didnt move and said...
"There is no reason to be rude."
He stepped a little closer and said...
"You better watch your mouth!"
"Watch my mouth??? I am just saying there is no reason to be rude." and stood there looking at him...
"Are you the driver of this truck?"
"No."
"Then why are you over here?"
"Because you called me over here!"
"I didn't call you over here!"
"Officer, why would I be standing in the middle of a roadway with traffic all around if you didn't call me over here?"
"I will tell you what, why don't you go over there where the witnesses stand and shut your mouth?!"
"Yes sir, I will be happy to do that!"
Of course, with a smirk on my face and shaking my head as I walked away.
He went to the other driver and started to get his information....Being short, rude and just plain ugly...
I mean THIS GUY was more pissed off than those of us in the accident!
Then he went to the young man driving and was abrupt, rude and just unprofessional.... The young man told him this was his first real accident and it was clear he was really nervous. There was no reason for this guy to act like this....It was a minor accident, no injuries, everyone did like they were supposed to do and I was a bit "miffed" about how he was dealing with this young man.... Maybe it was just me trying to protect this young man from some jerk-off cop with an attitude.
We got the vehicles off the roadway and the officer went into his duties to get the paperwork together. It wasn't until he got to the portion of the report that asked about injuries that he even asked if everyone was OK....Maybe he was just having a bad day or maybe he was just a jerk....But man, just soooo un-called for.
I had to take a couple of pictures of the damage and figured I would snap a picture of this guy "working"...
As I was standing there, I reflected about my time in the field and remembered I had been a TOOL a few times myself, but I don't ever recall being such a jerk to just average citizens in a minor accident.... Guess it was a little KARMA coming back to me!
Once again, I am reminded WHY I left that past profession and am SOOOOOO happy I am no longer in that field. If it WASN'T just a bad day, sure has to be a miserable life to walk around that pissed off all the time AND at such minor infractions....Cant imagine what this guy must be like on a "real" scene....
GEESH!! REEEEEEELLLAAAAXXXX man...REEEEE-LAX!!
Happy Monday.....TIS THE SEASON!! ;-)
Sunday, November 20, 2011
My new addiction
About two months ago, Donna and I just happened to come along an auction that was going on in a business. We stopped in to see what was up and I was immediately hooked. The people, the buzz of the auctioneer....Man, it was too much fun!
I was able to pick up a HUGE barrel fan at this sale for 100.00....Once I was able to buy something, I REALLY knew I was hooked!
I got the website for the auction company and started to follow their auctions and I have been going to one about every two weeks or so. I went to my second one and was able to pick up some art from an artist we like, Dalhart Windberg. Donna and I were able to meet this artist a few years ago and he is an AMAZING painter....Have been wanting some of his stuff for a few years.
The next auction I went to, I was able to pick up some silver mercury dimes and some old half dollars and was also able to get a cool stacking tool box I have wanted for a while....I have had a TON of fun at these things!
About a year or so ago, an old friend came to visit me and stay the weekend. It was FREEZING cold outside and we like to sit out on the front porch and watch the deer, just chill out, and have some drinks... But this weekend, it was bitter cold!
Felipe showed up and he said
"I brought my smudge pot"
and I had never heard of a smudge pot.....
We went to his truck, unloaded this thing from the back and I was clueless as to what this thing was or how it worked.
He explained that you fill it with diesel, open the flue in it, drop a flaming piece of paper down the up-tube and WAH-LAH, this thing lights and puts off some amazing heat. I was stunned!!
He explained that these were used in the fruit orchards to keep the frost off of the fruit when the freezes would come. They would light these in the rows of trees and they generate so much heat, the fruit is saved from the frost.
Now not only are these things very cool heater, they are WAY cool to watch and listen to.
Because of their design, the air flows through them in a way that it causes the flame to roll up the tube. On the tube are holes all the way around it where you can see the flame shoot out of it and it makes a wop, wop, wop noise (kinda like a fan) as the fuel burns. Then, when they get really hot, the metal of the stove pipe starts to glow.
Man, these things are AWESOME for outside parties in the mountains, on the beach and even on my front porch in the Hill Country. After seeing Felipe's smudge pot, I knew I had to have one. The two things his was missing was the rack it sits on and one of the breather tubes, but it was still wayyyyy cool!!
So I started to hunt for them. I found them on ebay for 100+ dollars and just didn't want to pay that much for one....It wasn't long before the cool-ness wore off and I wasn't interested in buying one anymore....
Yesterday Donna and I went to an auction, we got there early to look around and this auction was set at an old airplane hanger and home where people lived and gave flying lessons....There was crap EVERYWHERE!!!
As we walked around, I saw a couple of things I wanted and then we went to one of the out buildings....An old trailer that was sitting on the ground and it was PACKED full of crap....Wires, maybe 100 oil pans from airplane motors, jugs for airplane motors, wire, insulation....juts packed FULL of crap....Then I saw it... in the back of the trailer, in the middle of all this CRAP, there it was.....A friggin smudge pot, buried in all that crap!!
I pointed it out to Donna and went into the belly of the beast of junk to look at it. It was in perfect condition! Had the rack, all the parts....the top....I HAD TO HAVE IT!!
I called Felipe to see how much was too much for this pot and he told me I could be safe at 50.00 but one of his was 100.00...Donna snapped a picture to send for a text and caught me in it looking at the smudge pot..
We stood there for a while and watched people go through all the junk in that trailer and NO ONE gave that smudge pot a second look.... People were like me when I first saw it, they had NO CLUE!!
Well, the auction went on and it was dragging along....There was SOOOOOO much crap at this place and not too much I wanted. I went up to one of the auctioneers and asked...
"Hey man, I cant be here all day and I was wondering....If I grab a piece out of that old shed and put it out here, will you guys auction it off and give me a chance at it?"
"Sure thing, go get it!"
So I drug it out, got it in front of the auctioneer, they described it briefly, and then we were off....
"Do I hear five dollars....five dollars....anyone give me five dollars....?"
My hand went up....
"ten...do I hear ten??? Thank you....15.....do I hear 15....15.dollars....????"
My hand went up....
Now 20...20....20...do I have 20.... thank you.....25....25....25..."
My hand went up...
"30....do I have 30....30 dollars....do I have 30..... Thank you....now 35....35....35...???"
My hand went up....
40....do I have 40....40 dollars....do i have 40 Dollars??? Are we all done here??? 40 dollars??? 35 going once, 35 going twice......SOLD, number 56, for 35.00!!"
BAM, it was mine!!
GOOD LORD I AM ADDICTED!!
Luckily, I have been pretty good about not impulse buying and coming home with a ton of CRAP!! I mean I see people buying old animal furs and old laundry hampers...boxes of old plastic cups....just JUNK...If i ever get to that point, I am going to have to give this all up!!
So I think its pretty cool that I have the pictures of the first smudge pot I ever saw and that made me want one....Then the picture of me finding one....and then a picture of me using my new toy....Pretty cool how it all came together!! Cant wait to have it for a party or get together and have pictures of people all around it enjoying the warmth, the flames and the soothing sound it makes as it burns.....
SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!
I was able to pick up a HUGE barrel fan at this sale for 100.00....Once I was able to buy something, I REALLY knew I was hooked!
I got the website for the auction company and started to follow their auctions and I have been going to one about every two weeks or so. I went to my second one and was able to pick up some art from an artist we like, Dalhart Windberg. Donna and I were able to meet this artist a few years ago and he is an AMAZING painter....Have been wanting some of his stuff for a few years.
The next auction I went to, I was able to pick up some silver mercury dimes and some old half dollars and was also able to get a cool stacking tool box I have wanted for a while....I have had a TON of fun at these things!
About a year or so ago, an old friend came to visit me and stay the weekend. It was FREEZING cold outside and we like to sit out on the front porch and watch the deer, just chill out, and have some drinks... But this weekend, it was bitter cold!
Felipe showed up and he said
"I brought my smudge pot"
and I had never heard of a smudge pot.....
We went to his truck, unloaded this thing from the back and I was clueless as to what this thing was or how it worked.
He explained that you fill it with diesel, open the flue in it, drop a flaming piece of paper down the up-tube and WAH-LAH, this thing lights and puts off some amazing heat. I was stunned!!
He explained that these were used in the fruit orchards to keep the frost off of the fruit when the freezes would come. They would light these in the rows of trees and they generate so much heat, the fruit is saved from the frost.
Now not only are these things very cool heater, they are WAY cool to watch and listen to.
Because of their design, the air flows through them in a way that it causes the flame to roll up the tube. On the tube are holes all the way around it where you can see the flame shoot out of it and it makes a wop, wop, wop noise (kinda like a fan) as the fuel burns. Then, when they get really hot, the metal of the stove pipe starts to glow.
Man, these things are AWESOME for outside parties in the mountains, on the beach and even on my front porch in the Hill Country. After seeing Felipe's smudge pot, I knew I had to have one. The two things his was missing was the rack it sits on and one of the breather tubes, but it was still wayyyyy cool!!
So I started to hunt for them. I found them on ebay for 100+ dollars and just didn't want to pay that much for one....It wasn't long before the cool-ness wore off and I wasn't interested in buying one anymore....
Yesterday Donna and I went to an auction, we got there early to look around and this auction was set at an old airplane hanger and home where people lived and gave flying lessons....There was crap EVERYWHERE!!!
As we walked around, I saw a couple of things I wanted and then we went to one of the out buildings....An old trailer that was sitting on the ground and it was PACKED full of crap....Wires, maybe 100 oil pans from airplane motors, jugs for airplane motors, wire, insulation....juts packed FULL of crap....Then I saw it... in the back of the trailer, in the middle of all this CRAP, there it was.....A friggin smudge pot, buried in all that crap!!
I called Felipe to see how much was too much for this pot and he told me I could be safe at 50.00 but one of his was 100.00...Donna snapped a picture to send for a text and caught me in it looking at the smudge pot..
We stood there for a while and watched people go through all the junk in that trailer and NO ONE gave that smudge pot a second look.... People were like me when I first saw it, they had NO CLUE!!
Well, the auction went on and it was dragging along....There was SOOOOOO much crap at this place and not too much I wanted. I went up to one of the auctioneers and asked...
"Hey man, I cant be here all day and I was wondering....If I grab a piece out of that old shed and put it out here, will you guys auction it off and give me a chance at it?"
"Sure thing, go get it!"
So I drug it out, got it in front of the auctioneer, they described it briefly, and then we were off....
"Do I hear five dollars....five dollars....anyone give me five dollars....?"
My hand went up....
"ten...do I hear ten??? Thank you....15.....do I hear 15....15.dollars....????"
My hand went up....
Now 20...20....20...do I have 20.... thank you.....25....25....25..."
My hand went up...
"30....do I have 30....30 dollars....do I have 30..... Thank you....now 35....35....35...???"
My hand went up....
40....do I have 40....40 dollars....do i have 40 Dollars??? Are we all done here??? 40 dollars??? 35 going once, 35 going twice......SOLD, number 56, for 35.00!!"
BAM, it was mine!!
GOOD LORD I AM ADDICTED!!
Luckily, I have been pretty good about not impulse buying and coming home with a ton of CRAP!! I mean I see people buying old animal furs and old laundry hampers...boxes of old plastic cups....just JUNK...If i ever get to that point, I am going to have to give this all up!!
So I think its pretty cool that I have the pictures of the first smudge pot I ever saw and that made me want one....Then the picture of me finding one....and then a picture of me using my new toy....Pretty cool how it all came together!! Cant wait to have it for a party or get together and have pictures of people all around it enjoying the warmth, the flames and the soothing sound it makes as it burns.....
SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
How can one day????
How can one day be filled with so much hurt, frustration and loss.... Today I am low, down and wounded....
Yesterday was one of the roughest days I have had so far working with YouthBuild. From the moment I walked in the door to start my day, it was dramatic.... It continued throughout the day and I was unable to even get home until 7:10pm....Pissing and moaning the whole way, complaining about my day, bitter at the drama that took place....
Then the Universe spoke to me and showed me how silly, petty and stupid all this drama I had been struggling with was.
As I pulled into my driveway, bottle of wine in my hand, ready to numb the day away, my cell phone alerted me that I had a message from my old friend, Kenneth. I listened to the message and he said...
"Brad, call me back ASAP!"
I knew immediately something was going on because Kenneth never calls me like that for nothing....Something has happened.... I braced myself, took a deep breath and called him back thinking, "How can this day get any worse!"
And the Universe spoke to me again and said...."This is how"
Kenneth answered the phone and I said...
"Whats up?"
"Marty Ermis just shot himself and he is dead!"
My immediate response was ...
"No way dude, you have to be kidding me!?"
Like he would kid about something like this....I was immediately in shock!
"I don't know the details, but all I know is that it has been confirmed that he shot himself and he is dead"
And I was absolutely stunned...Speechless....Just stepped outside of my body....Reality just became foggy and surreal...This cant be true!
Now Marty and I have not spoken for some years now...Maybe once since I left the Sheriffs Department....But for my first 1 1/2 years as a rookie on the streets with the Galveston County Sheriffs Department, Marty was my partner.
Through that time and for many years after, we stayed pretty good friends. He had a BBQ team and did cookoffs, and I was at MANY of those....We had many nights in bars, getting drunk, at parties, celebrating and just kicking up our heels, and he and his friends became part of my family...So much so, that when I was out of town on hunting trips or whatever, Donna was with him and "the crew" at the Galveston County Fair, some other cookoff, some bar...He was always there to make sure Donna was OK and safe....I trusted Marty with not just my life, with the lives of my family.... I don't know that I can recall any cop I ever met that had the heart, the humor and the charisma that Marty did....EVERYONE LOVED HIM!!
I can clearly remember a day I was driving down Hwy 87 in Crystal Beach and noticed 3-4 cars stopped and Marty's unit in the middle of the road with his lights on and wondering
"WHAT THE HELL is going on??"
Only to drive up and see Marty had stopped traffic, was in the middle of the highway and was picking up a turtle to get him out of the road so he wouldn't get run over.....His heart was TRULY bigger than you could imagine!
I still, to this day, tell stories about the times we had together on the streets.
There was an incident that kind of defined my Law Enforcement experience when I was forced to shoot an escaped African Lioness (HORRIBLE experience).... When that all went down, I was with Marty.....
There are so many other incident I could refer to, but he was there, present and witness to THE moment that followed me through my Law Enforcement career and even follows me to this day....It was me, and him that night, on that highway, in Crystal Beach.
I remember I was this young rookie, ITCHING to get out on the streets, working these quiet nights on Crystal Beach, listening to the radio of the police departments and Sheriffs Deputies who were patrolling the mainland in pursuits and chasing bad guys, and taking all kinds of calls....I would sit on the beach and just ACHE to be up there in THE SHIT!!
One night, I was sitting on the beach, watching the waves crash on the shore, not a soul to be seen for miles, sky without a cloud in it, full of stars and a bright, glowing moon, and just sitting back listening to the radio chatter.
Marty pulled up alongside of my unit and we were sitting what we called "69" in our patrol cars...His car pointing towards Galveston, my car pointing towards Louisiana, drivers side widows side by side....
Marty ALWAYS wore a ballcap and ALWAYS had a cigarette hanging out of the side of his mouth....
As he pulled up to me this night, I rolled down my window and Marty started to talk...
The funny thing about Marty is he was never in a hurry with his words....Its like he actually paused and thought about every word before he said it.... So as I rolled my window down, and he rolled his down, he inhaled on that cigarette, exhaled with a big gasp and said....
"Well Junior.....I wonder what the REAL police are doing tonight!"
I took a second to take in what he said and then realized....
Here we were, sitting on a beach, on a beautiful night, waves crashing in front of us, full moon bright in the sky, GETTING PAID to do it.....While the radio chattered with other Police Officers and Deputies running their asses off, getting case numbers and doing reports....
Marty was always able to remind me what the GREAT things.....the PRIVILEGE it was to be in that uniform and in that unit....... No matter how much I wanted to be "in the shit" he was always able to remind me that being a cop wasn't JUST about that!! He was a great mentor and a teacher.
I could go on and on about the stories about Marty, and maybe I will someday, but I can still see it clearly in my mind.... That short little Deputy, getting out of his unit, hiking up his belt, walking up to any scene I was on or to just go eat dinner (where he would ALWAYS get a cheeseburger with jalapenos and eat it with a fork and knife...EVERY SINGLE DAY!) and saying.....
"So what-cha got Junior?"
It is a sad day for my family and the Sheriffs Office family.... I am not sure of the exact amount of time that Marty had in Law Enforcement but I know it had to be close to +/-30 years.
He had two children he loved dearly and for whatever reason, he found that the life he had was no longer manageable..... Some people see this type of act as a selfish thing....I don't!
I have worked with people long enough, and had enough loss like this close to me to understand that whatever was going on in their life, wherever they were in their life, it was so bad, it was so defining, it was so hard, that the only way to WIN in the situation is to take yourself OUT of the situation....And I have NO JUDGEMENTS, because THAT experience is one I have been VERY close to......
I remember a saying that sticks with me in this moment.....
"Don't ever judge the path of another, because there is no way to understand their journey or their struggles."
The Universe has a weird way of "showing up"..... I just recently said, "I don't EVER want to go back to Galveston County." and now, the Universe is showing me that I am going back to Galveston County soon....
Gods Speed Marty Ermis..... I will remember you for as long as I breathe.... YOU made my life more fun, more impacting, more clear, more simple....You made my life RICHER by just being a part of it! May we see each other again someday!
Yesterday was one of the roughest days I have had so far working with YouthBuild. From the moment I walked in the door to start my day, it was dramatic.... It continued throughout the day and I was unable to even get home until 7:10pm....Pissing and moaning the whole way, complaining about my day, bitter at the drama that took place....
Then the Universe spoke to me and showed me how silly, petty and stupid all this drama I had been struggling with was.
As I pulled into my driveway, bottle of wine in my hand, ready to numb the day away, my cell phone alerted me that I had a message from my old friend, Kenneth. I listened to the message and he said...
"Brad, call me back ASAP!"
I knew immediately something was going on because Kenneth never calls me like that for nothing....Something has happened.... I braced myself, took a deep breath and called him back thinking, "How can this day get any worse!"
And the Universe spoke to me again and said...."This is how"
Kenneth answered the phone and I said...
"Whats up?"
"Marty Ermis just shot himself and he is dead!"
My immediate response was ...
"No way dude, you have to be kidding me!?"
Like he would kid about something like this....I was immediately in shock!
"I don't know the details, but all I know is that it has been confirmed that he shot himself and he is dead"
And I was absolutely stunned...Speechless....Just stepped outside of my body....Reality just became foggy and surreal...This cant be true!
Now Marty and I have not spoken for some years now...Maybe once since I left the Sheriffs Department....But for my first 1 1/2 years as a rookie on the streets with the Galveston County Sheriffs Department, Marty was my partner.
Through that time and for many years after, we stayed pretty good friends. He had a BBQ team and did cookoffs, and I was at MANY of those....We had many nights in bars, getting drunk, at parties, celebrating and just kicking up our heels, and he and his friends became part of my family...So much so, that when I was out of town on hunting trips or whatever, Donna was with him and "the crew" at the Galveston County Fair, some other cookoff, some bar...He was always there to make sure Donna was OK and safe....I trusted Marty with not just my life, with the lives of my family.... I don't know that I can recall any cop I ever met that had the heart, the humor and the charisma that Marty did....EVERYONE LOVED HIM!!
I can clearly remember a day I was driving down Hwy 87 in Crystal Beach and noticed 3-4 cars stopped and Marty's unit in the middle of the road with his lights on and wondering
"WHAT THE HELL is going on??"
Only to drive up and see Marty had stopped traffic, was in the middle of the highway and was picking up a turtle to get him out of the road so he wouldn't get run over.....His heart was TRULY bigger than you could imagine!
I still, to this day, tell stories about the times we had together on the streets.
There was an incident that kind of defined my Law Enforcement experience when I was forced to shoot an escaped African Lioness (HORRIBLE experience).... When that all went down, I was with Marty.....
There are so many other incident I could refer to, but he was there, present and witness to THE moment that followed me through my Law Enforcement career and even follows me to this day....It was me, and him that night, on that highway, in Crystal Beach.
I remember I was this young rookie, ITCHING to get out on the streets, working these quiet nights on Crystal Beach, listening to the radio of the police departments and Sheriffs Deputies who were patrolling the mainland in pursuits and chasing bad guys, and taking all kinds of calls....I would sit on the beach and just ACHE to be up there in THE SHIT!!
One night, I was sitting on the beach, watching the waves crash on the shore, not a soul to be seen for miles, sky without a cloud in it, full of stars and a bright, glowing moon, and just sitting back listening to the radio chatter.
Marty pulled up alongside of my unit and we were sitting what we called "69" in our patrol cars...His car pointing towards Galveston, my car pointing towards Louisiana, drivers side widows side by side....
Marty ALWAYS wore a ballcap and ALWAYS had a cigarette hanging out of the side of his mouth....
As he pulled up to me this night, I rolled down my window and Marty started to talk...
The funny thing about Marty is he was never in a hurry with his words....Its like he actually paused and thought about every word before he said it.... So as I rolled my window down, and he rolled his down, he inhaled on that cigarette, exhaled with a big gasp and said....
"Well Junior.....I wonder what the REAL police are doing tonight!"
I took a second to take in what he said and then realized....
Here we were, sitting on a beach, on a beautiful night, waves crashing in front of us, full moon bright in the sky, GETTING PAID to do it.....While the radio chattered with other Police Officers and Deputies running their asses off, getting case numbers and doing reports....
Marty was always able to remind me what the GREAT things.....the PRIVILEGE it was to be in that uniform and in that unit....... No matter how much I wanted to be "in the shit" he was always able to remind me that being a cop wasn't JUST about that!! He was a great mentor and a teacher.
I could go on and on about the stories about Marty, and maybe I will someday, but I can still see it clearly in my mind.... That short little Deputy, getting out of his unit, hiking up his belt, walking up to any scene I was on or to just go eat dinner (where he would ALWAYS get a cheeseburger with jalapenos and eat it with a fork and knife...EVERY SINGLE DAY!) and saying.....
"So what-cha got Junior?"
It is a sad day for my family and the Sheriffs Office family.... I am not sure of the exact amount of time that Marty had in Law Enforcement but I know it had to be close to +/-30 years.
He had two children he loved dearly and for whatever reason, he found that the life he had was no longer manageable..... Some people see this type of act as a selfish thing....I don't!
I have worked with people long enough, and had enough loss like this close to me to understand that whatever was going on in their life, wherever they were in their life, it was so bad, it was so defining, it was so hard, that the only way to WIN in the situation is to take yourself OUT of the situation....And I have NO JUDGEMENTS, because THAT experience is one I have been VERY close to......
I remember a saying that sticks with me in this moment.....
"Don't ever judge the path of another, because there is no way to understand their journey or their struggles."
The Universe has a weird way of "showing up"..... I just recently said, "I don't EVER want to go back to Galveston County." and now, the Universe is showing me that I am going back to Galveston County soon....
Gods Speed Marty Ermis..... I will remember you for as long as I breathe.... YOU made my life more fun, more impacting, more clear, more simple....You made my life RICHER by just being a part of it! May we see each other again someday!
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