Thanksgiving

I am generally not one that enjoys the Holidays all that much. It is told to us to be the season of giving and a time of thanks, but I am torn...

I have more people close to me that struggle through the holidays than clebrate them (or so it seems) and every year I have friends who pass away in some form or fashion in this "blessed" time. The time has become so commercialized and the idea of one family sitting around one table for one meal is no longer a reality in the world I understand.

Divorced families, family drama, life struggles, no money to get gifts, going into debt to get "things" for people and it seems the idea of community, connection and togetherness has dropped down the list of things that are important in this "blessed" time.

Now its how many family members houses do you have to get to to "make your rounds" or what drama is going to unfold with which family member at what time during this "together time."

I feel bad sometimes because my distaste for the holidays has resulted in a limited participation in the Holidays. Me and Donna's kids are grown, have their own lives now and generally don't have the time or money to come visit us during the holidays. Generally there is so much drama in their lives and with whoever it is they are choosing to spent their lives with that it causes us to be separated from them.

Not so  much because we cant "tolerate" them, but because we cant TRUST them in our house to not steal or just be out of integrity (its deeper than just this too).

I do have to say I was blessed with parents who have always seen the value of the Holidays and this time to be together but they are a long way away from me and time and cost restraints stops us from being together during the holidays. Luckily, this year, we have worked it out to be home for Christmas....I am VERY excited about that as we will be bringing Brandi and the boys for their first trip to Colorado. It will also be the first time I have been home for Christmas in about 8 years.... it warms my heart to know I will be with my family this year!

I still do see the value in the GIVING portion of the Holidays and if I cant be near my family, I want to do something to give and am looking forward to serving dinner at the Salvation Army for those far less fortunate than me.

I still understand the value of the Holidays and it "tis the season for giving" so I will do my part in that, but to "celebrate" these hard times is not something I see as reasonable.

I have lost an old friend recently, have another who is struggling with family problems so completely unbelievable, I don't know how he is keeping his sanity intact. Donna's family is scattered all over the place and generally don't get together for the holidays nor do we have much of a desire to go spend the holidays with them because of the lives they choose to live....Not because we judge, but because it just isn't a life we want to be near or around...Its not something that serves us or our lives and is generally much more of a struggle than it is an enjoyment...And togetherness should be enjoyable, not a struggle!

I have been labeled as The Grinch now by my daughter, grand-kids and wife...They play it as a joke, but it is a real thing. I really don't care for the Holidays because it really is hypocritical....A time for rejoicing, giving thanks, togetherness, connection, caring, love and compassion...but generally filled with struggle, hurt, drama, entitlement, loss, and hurt....

I will end this by doing my part to represent this particular Holiday though....

I am thankful for.....

My wife
My kids
My grandchildren
My family in Colorado
My job
The place I live
The job i have
The kids in my life now that remind me how blessed I am and show me everyday
The life Donna and I have created TOGETHER
That I have a warm bed, a decent little house, a garage to sit in and reflect, my music, my Harley, my friends, my little office where I can sit and type this out, the people in my life that encourage and support me from afar and through the web, those who read my blogs and tell me that it helps them through their day, the memories I have of lost friends, the life ahead of me, my animals, that I am walking, talking, healthy and still have my sense of humor in spite of it all!

I have SOOOOO much to be thankful for and SOOO many people to thank for that....To those of you that do read this...I appreciate you and am happy that I have you here to spend your time reading this.

Although the world outside of me happens no matter what, my immediate reality is in my control...And although I might not be sitting around a table with friends and loved ones giving thanks, don't ever think I am not thankful for all I have listed here and more.

I am convinced and know without a doubt that I am TRULY blessed for the life I have and am living...And It is all of you in it that helps make it a reality for me....Thank you all and I hope your Holidays are blessed, filled with happiness and connection....

For those of you struggling in these times...My heart is with you and I know that its tough. Hang on, get through it, and get past it....Life can be so much bigger than this instant and even in the hardest of times, BIG THINGS are on the horizon for you....Just don't turn away from the Sunrise because I truly believe....Tomorrow is an even BIGGER day!

Peace and love to all of you out there.... GIVE more than you GET....LOVE more than you are LOVED...HUG more than you are HUGGED and keep a clear focus on the path ahead....GREATNESS awaits us all!! Of that I have NO DOUBTS!!

Peace..... Brad