What else to do

So, today I wake up early and go online to start my daily job hunt. I have a number of resources and it generally takes me about an hour to search through all the job boards and resources I have. I have searches in Texas, Colorado, New Mexico, Oregon, and California. Of course, in all these areas there are target areas we are looking but broadening the scope was a relief as there were numerous jobs that I qualified for.

Well, today, after going through all of my search spots, I have found that every job that I qualify for in these places I have already applied for. I find it almost unbelieveable that I have broadened my search not only in states but in industries as well and am actually at a stalling point now. In the last week and a half (10 days) I have sent out 85 resumes and or applications. I have checked job descriptions and ANYTHING that I can qualify for or even maybe "stretch" my skills to meet the requirements, I have applied for and still have not gotten any calls. I have gotten a few e-mails that state my resumes and applications are being reviewed but nothing from a real human being yet....I am at a loss.

I just dont get it.... I have vast experience, an impecible professional record, the education and the drive to succeed and still am finding myself struggling to find work. I have looked in a few areas as a manual labor worker and havent heard back from the limited few I have tried for.... I have nighmares of going back to driving pizzas, washing dishes or waiting tables again... How can this be?

"Work hard, have a great work ethic, be loyal, be committed, be flexible, driven, passionate, work hard, be fair, and you will advance and do well in your work life." Well, I am all of those things and here I sit scratching my head and wondering where else to turn.

I find relief in journaling and documenting where I am and what I am experiencing but now I am just at a point where I dont know what else to do. I have even told Donna that I have to look at it like blackjack.... "Play long enough and "ace/king" eventually flops in front of you....I am running out of chips!

Its funny though.... 2 months ago, I was depressed, upset, angry and shutting down... Now I have gotten to the point where I have accepted it and realized that there is nothing I can do. Luckily, as of now, the bills are paid and the school oans are in deferrment but this cant last forever.

I hear recently that a friend of ours who was going through hard times were literally down to their last dime and then the clouds broke and they found work and are on the path to recovery of their life....Jeeezus, I hope this isnt what happens with us.

We want to take a vacation and try to get away but have decided that we really need to save as much money as we can JUST IN CASE one of these out of state jobs comes through and I need to fly in for an interview, but I wonder how many of those potential employers discard my resume simply because I am from out of state.

I want to be able to document this as it unfolds as this year, so far, has been one of the worst years I can remember. Its like our drive to create a better life in the Hill Country has come to a dead stop and even though we have done all the "right things" to move us forward, we just cant seem to get there.

I am still filled with hope, and think of all the positive things I have found as truth in my life... "Through every struggle comes something great" so I am guessing winning the lotto is what is on the horizon for us right?

Well, since I have put in for every possible job in 5 states, I guess today will be filled with cleaning my bike and my house... Guess there is a positive in everything! Lets hope that the PERFECT JOB is just around the corner... One thing is for sure, then next job I get, I will be much more appreciative of!