Feedback day

Today I had a meeting with my boss and a co-worker that I don’t see eye to eye with. I could go into the details, but if you read my past blogs, it’s the same story…..I have been here before, AND documented it! **UUUUGH**......................As my wife so eloquently put it to me tonight….

“You know Brad, I love you hun, but I wonder if you bring this to yourself?”

“Your right hun, I have thought about that…..BUUUUTTTT….I just don’t know!”

I remember when I went through the trainings in Dallas, there was a sign that showed up EVERY DAY!! It said….

“WHAT ARE YOU PRETENDING NOT TO KNOW?”

This sign got bigger and bigger everyday….And since then, it has stuck with me as a tool; I use it often, but today, it slapped me like a babyoiled seal on a cold day!

What am I pretending not to know???!!

Anyway, Donna went on and she said….

“Think about it, how many people do you, or I know that records conversations and documents them in letters as much as you do?

I thought about it?????????  VERY few (at least as many times as I have)

So I stood there for second with my deer in the headlights look and the light bulb above my head…..

If I am responsible for everything in my life, how am I responsible for this?

How it is THESE instances keep showing up in my life that causes me so much stress, struggle, conflict, anger, frustration......etc...???

So, tonight, I reflect…I think about my contribution….I think about what it is I “need” from this type of interaction??? BECAUSE IT KEEPS SHOWING UP!! And we dont do things over, and over, and over if we arent getting something!

And the definition of insanity is……

“Doing the same thing, over and over, the same way, expecting different results”

Today I paid attention and realized I am in a familiar surrounding; I like it about as much as the last time, time before that, and time before that! I am as stressed as I was the last time, and I am going at it the same way as the last time, EXPECTING a different result!!

I took another class in Dallas one time called Trusting You Are Loved where they explained how having an expectation leads this VERY instance...WOW!!

I don’t know what the answer is, but I had to get this epiphany down on paper so I can see it clearly, address it appropriately (hopefully), SHIFT, and move forward….

Damn wife…..She knows me better than anyone!! And I trust her more than anyone…..Yeah, but I still prefer a stern truth over a soft lie!

Thanks hun!!! Definitely an “AH-HA” moment!!

OWTFDWIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!