MCH

Medina Children’s Home is a beautiful place and really does beautiful things for people, kids, community… It’s a wonderful organization and I am so happy I was able to be a part of it.

The home sits on about 400 acres and is right in the middle of the Hill Country, in between the little town of Median and Kerrville. The Home is 15 miles from Kerrville and about 8 miles from Medina. It is in the valleys of the Hills of the Texas Hill Country and is absolutely spectacular.

All of the native and exotic wildlife regulate this ranch and it is not uncommon to see multiple herds of deer in the front yards of the offices and living areas. It’s peaceful, secluded, clean, inviting and warm and if you have to be a foster kid, this is the place to be one!

A small creek runs through the property and it has been dammed up in two areas to create two large ponds. Medina Children’s Home (or Arms of hope as it is called now) is really two separate service based organizations.

One is for fostered kids or troubled youth and the other portion is for single mothers who want to create their life differently and MCH gives them the “hand up” to help them accomplish their goals and live an amazing life. It is funded and supported through the Church of Christ and is faith based on the principles of that religion.

They also have another facility that does the same thing in the Dallas area called Boles Children’s Home. With the combination of the two, the new name “Arms of Hope” was assigned to represent both the facilities. Both are really great organizations but the Median campus is really breathtaking.

There are general administrative offices in separate buildings, a Hospitality Center for guests and visitors and there are 9 cottages to house the foster kids or troubled youth. There are duplexes, houses and a daycare center for the single moms. There are also a variety of other homes that house staff and kids in the “transitional program.” Let me try to explain what this all entails.

The foster kids or troubled youth program is generally for kids who are struggling at home, have mild to moderate discipline problems and when the parents get to their wits end, this is the kind of place that can offer them some relief and help. There are also other parents who really don’t want to be troubled with their children and they do sometimes simply “drop their kids off” here.

Another large percentage of the populations of kids are long term foster kids who were adopted by some caring and well intentioned people. The scenario generally goes something like this…

A couple, who have 1-2 kids and are doing well in their life decide they want to give back and give a fostered child an opportunity to have a family decide to adopt a kid from a foster program. Generally, kids in the foster program, once they get outside of the infancy age, are not as appealing to adoptive parents as babies, so many times, foster kids who aren’t adopted by the age of three are forced to live a life in some kind of managed care or state facility.

“We are willing to spend the least amount of money to keep a kid at home, more to put him in a foster home and the most to institutionalize them”

~Marian Wright Edelman~

The well meaning parents decide they would like to adopt, let’s say, a 9 year old that was given up at birth or taken from a dysfunctional family…whatever… The family generally thinks that just placing the child in a loving and caring environment will cause the child to adapt to that environment…Many times, this is not the case.

Kids who have been abused or neglected as infants or even in the early developmental stages of childhood generally grow up with a variety of disorders…Disorders that well meaning parents with a goal to give a kid a “regular life” aren’t prepared for.

Studying, reading, counseling…All of those things are great tools to try and prepare you for what you are about to take on, but the experience is never like the textbooks and many, many times, those well meaning parents are simply lost and don’t have the tools to manage the behaviors associated with abused or neglected children.

In turn, what happens many times is these well meaning parents and their very functional family life becomes completely dysfunctional because of this misunderstanding or inability to manage the problems. The natural children start to lose attention as the family focuses all their energy on the troubled child and before long, the glass castle they live in starts to crack and crumble.

No one wants to “give em back” and when they get to a point where their functioning family has become completely dysfunctional, places like Medina Children’s Home and Boles Children’s Home are where parents turn to.

With coaching and support from educated people who are specialized in these types of behaviors get involved in the lives of these families, change can, and does occur. Many times, when a family is determined to make it work, as a team, this is a viable solution and many times families are brought back together, untied and able to manage the problems and get back to a “regular” life.

The hard ones to deal with are the families who have chosen to throw in the towel and simply let these homes take the children, raise them and allow the kids to come home on a holiday or two a year or a weekend visit or two a year. The really, really tough ones are the ones who don’t even do that…And there is no “greater” or “less” than of any one particular type of family…It is always varied and its always much more complex than even what I am stating here.

However, the rewards as an employee of an organization like this are monumental! The clinical Director and I have a saying about “rewarding experiences” when dealing with these people…

“Homeruns don’t come very often, but when they do, the crowd roars, the team cheers and celebrate and the feeling deep in your stomach is not explainable in words…”

A success story for this work environment is what we called a “home run”… Outta the park baby!! And when it happens, we cheer, celebrate and have that same feeling in our stomach! We had our share of stike outs as well but the homeruns are what kept us playing the game!!

“Every strike brings me closer to the next homerun”

~Babe Ruth~

The Single Mothers program is a wonderful program as well. If there is a single mom who has her kids and wants her life to be different, Places like Medina Children’s home can offer them that shift.

Generally these mothers come from abusive backgrounds, troubled lives, addictions, broken families, uneducated homes and primarily are lower socio-economic classes of people or from generational poverty.

“Raising a family is difficult enough. But it’s even more difficult for single parents struggling to make ends meet. They don’t need more obstacles, they need more opportunities”

~Bill Richardson~

The single mother program is not an easy program. It is designed to push your boundaries, step out of that box you are living in and forces you to reach for the goals you have. There are rules that apply to the “average” person that many of these women have never been taught or even heard about.

The program is designed to get the mothers and their children off of the “system” help them get good jobs or a good education and then good jobs and then cut you loose out into the world so you can have a spectacular life and create a spectacular life for your kids. It’s not an easy shift for many!

Its amazing how content we can become in misery!

Those who “work the program” and follow the rules, eventually will walk away from the experience with a formal education, a good job and HOPE for a brighter tomorrow! None of these programs are a “hand out” program and all of them are a “hand up” program. If you work any of these programs the way they are lined out, the future for you when you leave this organization is MUCH brighter than what the future held for you before it. DEFINITELY something I could stand behind and support.

The aftercare program is established for kids who are in foster care that reach the age of 18 years old and are no longer considered children. The harshness of the foster care program is that once you turn 18, you are no longer supported as a foster child. You are now an adult and your life is up to you. You are cut loose and have no support system to lean back on in rough times.

For those of us that are parents, we can readily understand that parenting does not stop when the kids turn 18. We are parents forever and are always coaching, supporting and caring for our children until the day we leave this place. We are the ones our kids turn to in troubled times or in times of crisis, times of greatness, times of confusion, etc… But think about foster children…

Once foster children turn 18, they are basically set out on their own and don’t have those models in their life. Statistically, you will find that foster children, as they progress, have a VERY high percentage of “troubles” in their adult lives…Drug and alcohol abuse, physical abuse, problems with the law, etc… Many people believe that its largely part of the lack of role models or support they have in their life compared to “standard” families.

What this program does is provide a place for kids who are in/out of foster care, 18-24 years of age, to learn “life skills.” It is a program that has strict rules and adherence standards but will offer kids with little or no family structure the opportunity to advance their life.

They will learn how to apply for jobs, cook, clean, open bank accounts, save money, buy a car, pay rent, deal with landlords, etc… It also provides them a place to live on their own while they are in college and teaches them all the ins and outs of life that we have been taught from our parents or other models. I know some of you might think this is just common knowledge but remember…Without the models many of us had, how would we have ever learned about those things?

If you believe in the old saying that children are our future then you must also believe that every child should be offered the same opportunities for success. Here is an opportunity for a large percentage of our kids that are forgotten about to have a real chance because for many, a life of foster care doesn’t provide much hope for the future.

They have been abandoned, neglected abused and now they are thrown out into the world where sharks and wolves are ready to pounce on them in an instant! And trust me, those predators are everywhere… I have witnessed their brutality and selfishness.

All of these programs are aligned with what I envision as possibilities for people; and to be a part of something bigger than myself always offers such great reward. Medina Children’s Home is absolutely something bigger than any one person can fathom and I was proud to be part of that organization.

When I started with Medina Children’s Home, they were in the middle of a transition. The old “power” had retired and the board of directors found someone new to “lead the way” in a new era with the vision and dreams of what had established this organization.

What generally comes with transitions like this are drama, disagreements, misunderstandings, communication breakdowns, terminations, resignations and new “blood” coming into the organization…I was one of the “new blood” and I was in it knee deep.

After getting hired and getting a feel for the flow of the organization, learning the rules and getting solid in how the program operates, I went to work. I was not only an advocate for the children, I was an advocate for the houseparent’s and any person who doesn’t believe in the “trickle down” idea of power structures, you just have not been faced with this complexity yet…It is a very real thing.

I was stuck in the middle of loyalty to the “old blood” and an adherence to the “new blood” and it wasn’t just the kids and the houseparent’s that were struggling in this…It was the organization as a whole and I was one of the team members assigned to help with this transition and filter as much of the harshness away from the kids and houseparent’s.

I was always aligned with the people, the emotions, the concern and the KIDS…THE KIDS were the most important thing in this facility and when struggles like this take place, often times the kids and staff get put on the back burner.

My boss, the Administrator, well she was “old blood” and had been at the organization for quite a few years. She was up against the new blood and didn’t mange the conflict she had very well in regard to her duties as an administrator to the kids and houseparent’s. She was trying to hang on to the old ways and those were sinking quickly…She was refusing to get off the ship and was going down with it, and sadly, she was taking others with her.

Because of her conflicts, she was getting overly stressed with the fight and in turn was bailing the water of the sinking ship right on the heads of those under her. I don’t think she was doing it intentionally, I think she was doing all she could to survive and in turn was sacrificing those she was designated to lead. Survival is brutal and animalistic and she was simply trying to survive.

In turn, she became spiteful and opinionated and would not reason with anything outside of her view of what was taking place. She didn’t trust anyone and was starting to be an island in and of herself. She was closed to having it any other way than her way and this limited my ability to create change in the house parents and the kids. She started to make decisions that seemed to be spiteful to those who were resistant to her… It was getting ugly fast.

I was trying to find what side I stood on and found that both sides didn’t include the kids and this was not what I signed on for. If I could not be part of the solution, then I was just a part of the problem, so I went to speak with her and be up front and honest.

I explained to her that I felt I was not getting the support I needed to live up to the mission of the home and asked her for guidance. Her response was there was nothing she could do and her hands were tied. I told her that the only option this left me was to go above her head and talk to her boss.

If honesty is the best policy, she wasn’t aligned with this one either. From that point on, I was marked as trouble and she started to make me an outcast.

I started the job with a full scope of what took place at the facility. I was privy to all incidents and information about the operations of the home and its employees. After my meeting with my boss, this started to fade. Closed door meeting, hushed conversations as I entered the room, excused from conference calls…she was pushing me out.

I decided to uphold my professionalism and go and speak to her again about my concern. After explaining what I was seeing, she advised me that any efforts to go above her head would be viewed as aggressive and not part of the team and I would suffer the consequences of that and could lose my job… I was stuck!

BUT…

I am fully aware that “stuck” is totally of my creation and I refused to create “stuck” in my life. I had an impeccable professional record and didn’t want it scarred with a spiteful boss and started to look elsewhere for a job where my skills would be appreciated.

I wanted to be supportive of the kids but a termination was no way to continue that support. I knew if I left on my terms, I could still be involved with the kids at the home as a volunteer or at the very least a visitor. If I was terminated, I would not be allowed on the property again, and I knew this!

Truth, at times, can look like a defeating trait to have but it is part of who I am and I decided to keep with who I “BE”. When I was asked by other staff members about things in relationship to the organization, I was truthful. When they dug deeper with questions, I was truthful and eventually the truth started to hurt me professionally with this organization.

An opportunity presented itself that allowed me to SHIFT again and I decided to give it a shot…An ad for a Social Services Director appeared in the newspaper one day, I put in my resume, was granted and interview and was offered the job. I respectfully tendered my resignation with the Home and took a new, un-walked path in my life. But the experiences I had before leaving Medina Children’s Home were life changing for me and I still am connected to that organization.

You cannot help but learn more as you take the world into your hands.  Take it up reverently, for it is an old piece of clay, with millions of thumbprints on it.

~John Updike~

The administrator is gone, most of the “old blood” has either resigned or adapted and life moves on at Medina Children’s Home where they still create great things and still have many home runs to cheer about.

This was part of my process, and I trust the process… My life is truly richer from my time I spent with Medina Children’s Home and I only hope that my time there enriched others lives; but really, in my heart, I have no doubt!

A cool day with feedback!

So today, I went to go and run some errands and stop in and see a few people I have not seen before. After getting the necessities done, I stopped by the local Red Cross here in Kerrville to chat with the Executive Director, Krsiti. She and I have become pretty good friends over the last few years and I always enjoy our time together...As brief as it can be most of the time, I always feel better after hanging out with her. She is a special lady and a genuine person... I really value our friendship.

Well, Kristi was busy so I was talking to her assistant in her office. She was talking to me about teaching some courses at the Red Cross and we were trying to figure out if I was certified to do so. As we spoke she was clarifying the spelling of my name and another lady who was in the office with her, actively taking a test on a computer, said...

"Brad??? Gold??? I know you!"

I have met so many people in my travels that this is not uncommon and my common response is...

"You know me? How do you know me?"

"I think through facebook...I am not sure...I think that was it and I went to your site. Its great!!"

"Oh really, that's really cool? Who did you link up with to find me?"
"I am not sure who it was but I went to your site and looked around. You have three step daughters, grew up in....Uhhhmmm, was it California?"

"No, it was Colorado."

"Oh, I knew it was something that started with a "C""

"So, how did you like my site?"

"I thought it was great...Sounds like you could talk on just about anything huh? You have had a pretty diverse life huh?"

"Yeah, I have been around quite a bit and done quite a few things."

"I saw you went to Junction and Menard...You have been all over around here huh?"

"Well, K'STAR provided me quite a bit of opportunity to get around so I made my stops in a lot of places. Once I "got in" somewhere, I made a lot of effort to "Stay in" and was able to work with a lot of different people."

"Yeah, as I looked at your site, I thought, "Hmmmm, this guy would be interesting to listen to." and liked browsing around and learning about you."

"Well, that is fantastic feedback. I really appreciate that! You have really made my day!"

We chatted for a short while and then I was able to sit and visit with Kristi. Kristi got busy and I decided to carry on with my errands. Before I left, I stopped in to speak to the lady one more time and said..

"I really do appreciate you... You just don't know how much you have made my day...THANKS!"

And left...

I just really wanted to document this experience and share it with those who follow me and this vision and also thank all of you who take the time to read my posts and spread the information....It REALLY does make a difference... Even the smallest of things we do can make a huge impact so whoever it was that "liked" my page, commented on my profile or simply responded to a post that lead this lady to me, I truly appreciate it and I am grateful for all of you. Thank you so much!!


Peace.... Brad

College, K'STAR and Family Matters

College, for me, was an amazing experience, and once I made the decision to take it on, I did so with all that was inside of me. I found very quickly that this life contained a completely different set of rules and if I wanted to succeed, I was going to have to figure them out, align with them and get to work. Needless to say, I struggled severely at first.

I went to a small Liberal Arts University and when I enrolled, there were about 800 students at there. 95% of those students were half my age and I was definitely, once again, the exception to the rule. I was a poor student when I was younger and had this on my mind much of the time when I was enrolling and taking those first steps into that first semester. Because of those beliefs, I was getting those results.

My first semester was tough; I did poorly and was placed on academic probation. My grades were below average and I even had a couple of “D’s” that if I didn’t bring up would limit my grants, scholarships and even the loans I had signed up for. If I wanted to continue on this path, I had better figure out this game and fast!

I made sure I met with the professors I was struggling with and explained why I was doing so badly. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and that old cop ego had to be put on the back burner. I was the “know it all” then, and now I was the “know nothing at all.” I made my commitment to myself about school and there is no greater person to keep your word with than you so I was determined.

I quickly found that for the most part, professors, even with the arrogance some of them possess, most truly want you to succeed but they also will not drag you along…You have to show them that you are eager to succeed as well, and most of the professors will be as committed as you are to what you want, but don’t ever expect them to be more committed than you are…If you do, you will quickly find you are alone!

I had no idea how to format a paper or take notes, or quickly complete assignments…There is no real lesson plan about how college works and my experience of academia below college level is filled with hazy memories and very little about how to do class work…If they had a smoking dope class 101, I would have excelled, but that was not a class on my degree plan.

I originally started to pursue a degree in History. I had no idea why and all I really wanted was to get that piece of paper that stated I was a college graduate. THIS was the rule of the world of professionals and at that time, my ONLY focus was making that piece of paper hang on my wall with my name on it.

I quickly found that History was not something that appealed to me. Dates, people, incidents, formatting them into how we are where we are today, it was just too much for me and I could not find an interest in it…I was starting to falter on my path and I knew I needed to change.

I had contemplated if the college life was for me and questioned my ability and then it hit me...

“If I am simply here to get a piece of paper then why not follow the “A’s” (OK, “B’s”) and pursue my education in where my talents are?”

I think this is what limits people in the experience of higher education. You start school with a vision of becoming a Doctor, a Teacher, a Scientist, a Lawyer, etc….and then when you get started, you find that you just don’t have enough interest to do the work it requires, you start to get failing grades in that discipline and then say “I cant do it” and drop out.

To me, I always remembered an old saying I heard throughout my life…

“Do what you love and the money and jobs will follow.”

The good grades I was getting were in English Literature so I changed my focus and followed the good grades. I started to understand the rules and once again, I was shifting and learning this new game I was playing. Trying to play Monopoly with the rules from RISK just doesn’t work, so why do people think it works in life?

Rules change, patterns shift and because people get so focused on how it “should” be and get “right” about their perception of “should” then they will never accomplish the goal. You can play Monopoly or RISK with a “method” for success, or a strategy but the rules apply to the game and you have to play by the rules to win.

After my first year in school, I started to really grasp how it all worked and started to play the game. As a result, my grades were improving and my GPA was growing (even though my GPA was not important to me in the beginning).

Before college, I had no real appreciation or understanding of the value of education, but I found with every class I took, education and enlightenment seem to walk on the same path… I was discovering and exploring a whole new world. I was getting evidence that either supported or discounted many of the beliefs I had been taught in my life, and we are taught every belief we have.

“The aim of education should be to teach us rather how to think, than what to think - rather to improve our minds, so as to enable us to think for ourselves, than to load the memory with thoughts of other men.” 

~Bill Beattie~

Remember, the only reason you understand that the sky is blue is because someone taught you what blue is. Even our individual beliefs and opinions are taught to us, even if it is taught to us through our experience, and even then, our experience is individual and by no means makes anyone else’s experience wrong. Another thing to consider is that just because you had an experience that taught you a lesson years ago, that by no means means the experience will be the same now.

Look at your life ten years ago and think of what was “right” to you then….Look at your life now and how many of those things are still “right” for you? As time moves on, our lives and experience create different perceptions….Only the experience will tell us if any one thing is a truth for us…And even if that experience solidified a truth for you ten years ago, it might still be a truth now, but if you question it, try it again….Some mistakes are just too much fun to do once!

“Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.” 

~Faith Baldwin~

Perception is what creates our reality, not facts! If you think that is not a truth, look at any debate around a fact…Both sides have the same facts, but their perception of those facts is what forms their beliefs. Allowing your limiting beliefs to control your outcome in life, totally controlling what you do, who you are and what you have in life is destined to make you a victim!

I started to really embrace school and at every semester’s end, when I received my grades, I would giggle at myself because I was proving all those naysayers in my life wrong… I was a good student and I quickly learned that being an “A” student doesn’t necessarily make you a “good” student. Hard work, an active interest, an appeal to learn and think outside of the box, that makes a good student…Even if the result is a “C.”

I started school at 37 years old with a goal to complete my undergraduate pursuit by the time I was 40. I took classes in the summer, pushed myself, took on more than the “standard” credits and pushed forward to the goal. I was broke, had little to no income and was delivering pizzas for dominoes to make the extra money to get little needs to get me through school.

I managed my bills and my money through grants (very few), scholarships (very few) and student loans (lots of them!). I love this saying, but for the life of me cant remember where it is from…

“You think education is expensive, try ignorance!”

 I knew if I worked hard, embraced the struggles and kept driving forward, I would only live this way for a limited time. People get so comfortable with convenience and things that they never take the risks to have it greater, better, more impacting… I still wanted my life to be on my terms, and college was one of the rules for me to get to that goal.

I started Schreiner University in 2003 as a freshman, struggling and clawing my way through those first semesters (and even a few after that) and graduated with my Bachelors Degree in English Literature in the summer of 2005, one month before my 40^th birthday. I even was able to make it to the Presidents List on my last semester…Not only had I accomplished my goal, I did it way beyond my expectations and that was a reward (as well as a lesson) all of its own.

After graduation, I knew it was time to get back to the “real world” and started to apply for various jobs. I really had it made up in my head that once I had a degree, people would be fighting to hire me…Oh how twisted and shallow my thinking was.

A month before graduation, I started to apply for jobs. I had updated my resume, read all the “how to” books on hunting for jobs and interviewing for positions and searched far and wide for my next exciting journey… What I experienced was stress, disappointment and more struggles. I really grasped that there is no “easy” way to achieve your personal greatness…It takes work! But I also realized it is the “work” that makes you great!

I applied for 30 jobs my first month out of school and didn’t even get a call for an interview. By my second month I had over 80 applications and resumes out and had two interviews. Three months out and I had over 100 resumes or applications filled out all over the State and was willing to sacrifice living where I had chosen to start my life anew so I could get back to work…NOTHING!

Then one day, while reading the local newspaper, I saw an ad for a position. It was with a non-profit called “K’STAR Youth and Family Services” and was for a position titled Universal Child Abuse Prevention Specialist and I had no idea what that meant. I sent in my resume with my application and was called for an interview.

Now tell me, what does a degree in English Literature have anything to do with a job description like this…It was a stretch, but I figured my past experience would carry me into anything this job required, my degree was just the key to unlock that door! Besides, I only let others tell me no, rarely do I tell myself!

After two interviews and weeding through 35 applicants, I was chosen for the position. It was a newly funded and created position and the parameters of how to create this position were broad. I was basically allowed to create the position however I wanted to, as long as I stayed within the parameters of what the funding source lined out.

I was unsure, scared and wandering around in my head as to how I was going to make this happen. What I found was the coin I had walked around on for the last ten years was about to be flipped and I was going to experience the other side for a while.

When I started with K’STAR Youth and Family Services, there were expectations that the Director and Program Director had. I was to go to the schools, work with troubled and “at risk” kids, promote the position through media outlets and presentations to groups such as ROTARY, The Elks, PTA, Churches…Anything or anyplace that was family based, community based or educational based (and even areas outside of these areas).

I went at it full speed! I was responsible for bringing these services to 14 counties in the Hill Country and also promoting the new position to all of these counties. I had numerous newspaper interviews and articles written about me and my position, I was doing radio shows all over this area and even made a few TV spots. Promoting was apparently something I was better at than I thought and the numbers assigned to me for outreach efforts were exceeded by over 100% my first year. I was in a groove again!

I was also asked to give parenting classes. I was able to give these classes to a wide range of people, but found that the majority of my students were a group of people that were basically “mandated” to have these classes.

The general population was lower socio-economic folks who had their children displaced from the home or were about to have them displaced by CPS (Child Protective Services). In general, the folks were simply young parents with little or no tools for parenting who had children and were basically doing the best they could with the tools they had. Granted, I did encounter some more “animals” and really dysfunctional people, but this was not the norm and was by far, the exception to the rule.

What I was asked to do was now go and empower and direct people who I had for the last ten years brushed off and put in jail. I was dealing with people who had extremely dysfunctional family lives and little to no parenting skills. Poor, struggling to make ends meet, working tiresome and tedious jobs, and living off the system to survive, jaded, angry, hurt… VICTIMS!

I had encountered these people many times before but it was as a result of reacting to their choices, not working to change their choices…Once again, I was stretching my limits and my perceptions. Changing your beliefs about a thing can sometimes be a rough road but I was realizing, rough roads were where I liked to spend my time… It’s the bumps in the road that makes the ride interesting and jars you from complacency.

I was given the STEP Program for parenting as well as Love and Logic to choose from and teach from. These were both programmed curriculums that had been formatted from various sources, and professionals. They were great programs but I was unclear as to how to approach the client base with them.

I poured myself into the programs to read them, looked at them and ascertained which one I wanted to use in these classes. They were both good, and they both “basically” covered the same areas in regards to parenting.

As I got into these books, I though “Oh man, this is going to be fun. I am going to really make an impact with these parents and help them!” I chose the STEP program to present with because it had good instructional videos, simple homework and large print in the books for easy reading.

I realized the win/win situation here. If I could show people how to support their children to have exceptional lives, the rewards will also flow back to them. I could truly make an impact in a huge way!

So, I scheduled my first class, had about 12 signed up and was fully prepared to get started. The first night of the class was at my office building. I had it set up with little snacks, was all dressed up (well, business casual anyway), I was prepped, had all of my copies and handouts ready and I had 6 people show up for the class. I was not happy with this result, but knew I had to move forward anyway.

I did my basic introductions, started the class, gave the presentations, lined out how the next six sessions were going to unfold, handed them the books, gave them the handouts, assigned the homework and ended the hour long session. I felt pretty good after the class.

The next day, my Boss, Kim, she came to work and asked me how it went. I was excited, told her I “felt good” about it but was kind of upset with the turn out. She assured me this was fine, it was really expected and was not uncommon for this to happen so not to worry. I was fresh to this, so I had no reason to doubt her and went about with my other duties and prepped for the next week’s class.

The next week came along and I had a return number of students equaling 2…Yup, 2 people came back, one couple. I was devastated and went ahead with the instruction, went through the course material and completed the class with the assignments reading and preparation for the little quiz next week. I apologized to the couple for the others not returning, but assured them we would get through it and get it done.

When they left, I went back into my office, sat down in a huff and started to beat myself mentally…What had I done? What had I not done? What made these people not come back??? I was just running everything through my head. I, for some time now, have realized that every result I have in my life is my responsibility. The feedback I get (in any fashion) allows me to look at “how I am showing up” and I just could not figure out what it was that caused these folks not to come back to my class. I mean come on now, I am funny, light hearted and take things pretty easy…What was the deal!?

The next day, I talked to Kim about it again and she said

“Oh, well that’s not good…Maybe you need to reconsider the format”

I started that the same day…I had to find a way to make this more appealing to my audience. I sat and thought about various trainings I had been to and realized the only ones I really enjoyed were “experiential” type classes where the class is engaged in the discussion and opinions are offered… I went back over the course work and instead of sending the questions home, I figured I would just ask them in class… This was a good way to interact with the students and hear what they thought.

So the day of the next class comes along, and was supposed to start at 5:30pm. 5:30pm comes along and no one has shown up. 5:45…No one…6:00…no one… 6:05, I started to get all my stuff together and go home. Now the vicious self talk was really screaming in my head…

“You aren’t worthy, you suck, you took on the wrong job, your education was a waste of time, yada, yada, yada…”

And it went on like that all night and even into the next day. One thing we can master as humans is being our own worst critic, that’s for sure!

“We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.”

~Roderick Thorp~

The next day, go to talk to Kim again, and she was a little shocked, but not much…

“Brad, this group of people you deal with is a difficult crowd. You have to understand the life they live. They don’t really have structure, time is of no real importance and if something is difficult, they will walk away before trying to make it work. Don’t beat yourself up too bad, just learn from this!”

I now had 6 weeks until my next class and I needed to find something that worked! I had to get the “educated Brad” out of my head and back to the Brad that was the troubled kid…the one who didn’t bother with rules, who was “right” about everything and start from there. In all reality, the group of people I was working with were familiar to me in many ways… One, they were the people I grew up with and hung out with, and two, they were the people I primarily dealt with when working on the streets…I had to get back to my “roots” and start over.

About that time, Millennium 3 education in Dallas, a personal development and professional development training center that I had attended classes and wrote about in this book was sending out an e-mail to ask for people to staff one of their trainings. I had been through almost all of the trainings they offered and had even staffed a couple of them. It had been a while, but I knew this would be a great place for me to go, get reconnected with “source” and get back on track. My focus was “tunnel vision” at that time and I needed to see some big light.

I talked to Kim about it, told her it would be a week long training, but the tools I had attained from these classes before were so powerful and I thought I could get back, get some tools to use with my classes and really make an impact. Kim agreed and let me go to Dallas for a week…paid…as training! I was thrilled.

I went to Dallas, staffed the trainings, was able to get “centered” again and it opened up some great doors for what I was going to do. A truly POWERFUL experience (as always was at his place!). After I was done staffing, I went back home and when I got back to work; I sat down with Kim with my new ideas…

“Look Kim, the courses we have to offer are great, but I think I can format the parenting classes with the principles that are in these courses (and a lot of other places), do it in an experiential way and really make a change in all of this! Will you let me design a program for this parenting class with my ideas and let’s see how it works?”

Once I told her my ideas, she was as excited as I was and said…

“Yeah, DO IT Brad!”

So I did! I went right to work!

In these formatted programs, there were workbooks, assignments, tests, quizzes…Almost like a regular type of classroom setting; a classroom setting for MANY people who never graduated High School, and many who didn’t even know how to read. I could easily see now why this was so frustrating and why people would turn away from it.

I ordered some “experiential exercise” books, spoke to my mentor form when I went through all those trainings in Dallas, and started to format my new class. I was really excited and I had ideas that I knew would work…Little things, small twists and changes, capturing many of the “parenting distinctions” experientially that are productive for healthy growth in families and started to get this outlined for the class. I also realized I needed to go do some footwork.

I went to the judges who managed the CPS caseloads, CPS workers, Probation departments…I was knocking doors and shaking hands everywhere! I explained to all these people that I was putting together a parenting class; it would be six weeks long, an hour a night, one night for six weeks. I explained to them what I was going to focus on and how I was going to teach it. Everyone seemed happy with what I had to offer and assured me they would send me some people…. Then the calls started to come in.

By the time the next class started, I had 18 people signed up. Not only was I excited, I was scared as well. Still had all those voices screaming at me, but I refused to let them be right…I knew what I was creating would work!

“It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.”

~Unknown Author~

When the next class started, I had 12 people that showed. I started the class and even encouraged them to offer me feedback as to what was going on in their life that they needed help with…

OOOOPS!!

Now all I had was victim stories…How bad the case managers hated them, how the judge had it out for them, how the probation officers don’t care about people, they just want a check…And it went on and on and on…

I was able to get this under control, and we went on with the class. People were engaged, we were discussing and debating and it seemed like people really enjoyed the class. When the class ended, I actually had people walking up and thanking me. I knew I was on to something great!

The class went on and I graduated 6 people…Hey, 50%is much better that 0% so I was thrilled…But I knew it had to get bigger! As I went through the class, I learned what worked and didn’t work through experience. I noted these things, tweeked, twisted, tried new techniques and my numbers were growing!

I decided, after some persuasion from a friend, to go back to College and attain my Masters degree. I really just wanted the degree and the letters after my name. I knew this would help me progress through my life and in all reality, I liked college!

While in my masters program, I learned two key elements in education that helped me profoundly with what I was doing with my parenting class.

1. People in generational poverty and the lower socio-economic classes LEARN DIFFERENTLY
2. Teaching is not designed to be at a level where people are expected to rise to. Teaching is best done when you go to the people’s level of understanding and guide them up to the point you want them to be.

These were two of the most impacting things that I learned in Grad School. Of course, I learned much, much more, but these two things were huge slaps in my face. My drive to empower and uplift people just got a little easier.

With the education and resources I had attained in Grad School, I took it back to my parenting class which now I had named Family Matters because Family Matters! I also got great relief from some stress about my Thesis in Grad school because I had no clue what I was going to do it on…Now I had it! I was creating a curriculum!

I had researched and found that there were all kinds of parenting programs….Parenting programs for addicts, parenting programs for single moms, parenting programs for parenting grandparents, parenting programs for pregnant teens…There were even programs targeted to certain ethnicities…But there was NOTHING out there that I could find in regards to parenting to the Lower Socio –Economic classes of people… I couldn’t find ONE! So this was my direction.

I started to implement the tools I had learned in Dallas and in Grad School to make this program work. I started to get evidence based feedback on the program and man, it started to SOAR!!

By the time I got out of Grad School, I was now teaching two parenting classes a week, an hour and a half a class now, turning people away because I had limited the admission of the class to 25 people with a 95%+ graduation rate. Not only that, the people were actually coming to me now and saying…

“Man brad, what you said worked…I went home and tried it!”

I created the class in such a way, that even if you couldn’t read, you could get the distinctions of the class…You could get the tools and really use them in your life. The homework was different, the assignments were different, and it was absolutely amazing! In all reality, if I didn’t have those parenting classes to show me positive results, I don’t know that I would have completed Grad School….

NO ACCIDENTS!

I was even now having repeat people come to my class… people who originally walked in my class all gruff and confrontational, FORCED by the “system” to come to my classes, were now coming back for a second time because they liked it so much. And this was happing many, many times! It was awesome for me to see these shut down, calloused, attacking people TRANSFORM into people who wanted MORE of what I had to offer….There is no greater feeling than accomplishment!

Because K’STAR was so kind to me, when I finally advanced from that job to my next one at Medina Children’s Home, I made them a copy of the curriculum to continue to use for the organization. Last I heard, they are still implementing this program with their clients and still getting good results!

At the time of this writing, I have been away from K’STAR for 2 years. I still see some of my old parents from my classes. They always walk up to me and smile, greet me with a handshake or a hug (I prefer hugs…My students know that) and often times dig into their pockets, wallets or purses to show me they are still carrying various trinkets I used in my class to help them with their daily lives.

The basis of my program is really this…

People generally hurt or abuse others because they have a low self esteem, don’t have a clue what makes them great, and in turn, want others to be as miserable as they are. If I can allow people to see that their life is TRULY magical, that they are all gifted, talented and fabulous, then the need to hurt or belittle others decreases or goes away completely. If I take experiential learning and use it to present the messages I am trying to get across to them as tools, they will grasp it and use it. EXPERIENCE is the best teacher!!

 If they see value, actually see the evidence, then they will continue to use it. People have to find value in change…They have to see, taste and feel why its important before they will ever create change in their lives… Family Matters provides those things in a very powerful way! And I have evidenced based documentation to prove it!

This was my Graduate Thesis…This is what I presented for my Masters degree…And this program was given an “A” by even the staunchest of critics in my Graduate program…ACCOMPLISHMENT!! AHHHHHHHHHHH, how sweet it is!

I worked for K’STAR for 4 years and had a wonderful experience in my time there. I learned more about myself and others than I ever thought possible but as is my nature, I wanted to experience greater things.

The sad thing about many non-profits is advancement is generally limited and scarce. Non-profits are funded by the government and other agencies and can at any time, end! If the economy starts to fall, non-profits will be the first to experience cut backs. I was not advancing with K’STAR, I was not making enough money to live beyond paycheck to paycheck and an opportunity presented itself.

I was called on by Medina Children’s Home to do a presentation for them around stress management. I gladly took on the assignment and went to the home to give it to their houseparent’s. House parents are a unique group of people… They basically give up their regular lives and go to work for agencies like Medina Children’s Home to “raise” and manage foster kids who are brought inot the program.

This is a very noble and giving thing for people to choose. You truly are giving up the life as you know it to serve others and help them become successful. The kids are generally troubled and dysfunctional and at Medina Children’s Home, the house parents generally have anywhere from 6-12 kids.

They live in large “cottages” or houses and are required to follow strict state guidelines, facility policies and in all of that provide parenting for these troubled and sometimes abandoned kids. Needless to say, there is rarely a dull moment or a time without stress in this job. I applaud the people who make this choice in their life because I don’t know that I could be this giving.

I went to give the presentation and afterwards, the Clinical Director and Administrator asked if they could take me to lunch. This is not uncommon for people to offer after I go to a place and provide services, I knew both of these people and took the offer so we could go and chat and relax after the course I had given.

At lunch, the clinical director asked me if I would be interested in coming to work for them. I was shocked with the offer but intrigued and asked them what it would entail. Both of the people went back and forth explaining the complexities of the job…

“You would be a social services administrator, have a case load of kids and house parents and basically manage the cottages that are assigned to you. You will be responsible for mediating discipline for the kids and help the house parents manage the behaviors of the kids in their cottage. You would be an active team player in the betterment of the facility and would be able to work directly with the kids, their parents and their house parents. It’s a very rewarding job, but often times very challenging.”

The continued about the benefits, hours and pay, all of which were better than what I had at K’STAR and it was a really good “step up” professionally for me. The real kicker was I would be working directly with people and helping kids and the house parents find the greatness they possess. It was, at that time a GREAT opportunity. The organization was growing, they had just bought a similar facility in Dallas and the opportunity for advancement was also very appealing…

The other appeal to me was that these kids are the age I was when I went to the Abbey. As I thought about this opportunity, I reconnected with the memories I had from my experience there. The fears, the struggles, the peer pressure, the emotional rollercoaster… I would really be able to connect with these kids in a way that others couldn’t because they had not experienced what its like to be “dropped off” at some place… I could!

But still, I had to think about it, talk to Donna and make sure this was a decision we wanted to entertain.

After speaking with Donna, us going back and forth on the pros and cons of the job, the next day I called the Administrator and graciously accepted the job. I went to work that day and typed up my letter of resignation and met with Kim. THIS was the hardest part of my transition to this new path.

Kim, she has always been gracious, appreciative and understanding but when I handed her my resignation; she actually punched me in the arm! It was a shock to her and although she faked happiness for me, I could tell she was hurt and bothered by my decision. I explained to her how much I valued her, our time together and our friendship, but I had to pursue an opportunity when it presented itself. She understood and gave me her blessing as she accepted my resignation… I was, again, shifting!

In the last analysis, the individual person is responsible for living his own life and for "finding himself." Shifting is a process that allows us to uncover more deeply who we truly are; if you are unhappy in any aspect of your life, SHIFT and try something new. No matter if you it’s a large shift or a small shift….Doing things differently creates a different result…No matter how small the “doing” is.

“SHIFT” is powerful and scary!

Move to the Hill Country

Our move to the Hill Country was so exciting. Not only were we starting a new life, but we had realized we were modeling the behavior for our kids to see that life can be different and exactly as you want it to be. If you have not realized that our children need more models in their life, not more critics, it might serve you greatly to think about your actions. We all have our faults and our hang ups, but get clear that your children are watching and mimicking much of what you do in your life.

 We had discussed at great length what our options would be and even considered the worst case scenario. What we came up with was…

“Even if we have to wash dishes to survive, living in the Hill Country and having our life changed is worth it!”

And we made the leap!

“Creativity makes a leap, and then looks to see where it is.”
~Mason Cooley~

We had some friends who said they would help us, we rented a 25ft U-Haul, had two 16ft flatbed trailers, 2 pickups and a Trans-Am. We stuffed them as tight as we could with our belongings, what we couldn’t fit in we gave away, loaded up out two Great Danes and headed West!

We had scheduled to meet our new landlord in Bandera City limits and then he was supposed to lead us to where our house was in the country outside of Bandera. We pulled into town, called him and he met us at the local Dairy Queen.

A nice old guy, retired Chiropractor who had a ranch in the area and a bunch of rental properties. He told us that the place was towards Medina, instructed us to follow him and took off.

We followed and as we left Bandera, we followed HWY 16 along the beautiful Medina River and just absorbed the magnificence which is the Texas Hill Country.

The Texas hill County is like no other place I have ever seen. It has rolling hills, covered in Oak trees, Maples and cedar which makes the hills look like a multi colored rolling carpet and in the Fall, the colors change and provide a new view.

The rivers here are truly spectacular. Limestone bottoms, spring fed, crystal clear and even in holes as deep as 15 feet, you can see the fish swimming on the bottom. The water reminds me of the Caribbean without the salt.

The banks of the rivers are lined with 200 foot Cyprus trees that canopy the river and there are multitudes of grapevines that fill the canopy and some places look like caves of green and bark as you make your way through them.

There is wildlife everywhere; native whitetail deer, turkeys, doves, a variety of colorful songbirds, hummingbirds and an abundance of exotic wildlife. The Hill Country is full of large ranches that cater to hunters and tourists and they have imported exotic wildlife from all over the world to answer to hunters wants.

As a result of this “stocking” procedure, many of the species have escaped over the years due to floods that took out fence lines, car crashes, people cutting the fences, etc… Over the years, the exotic wildlife has grown to large numbers and its not uncommon to see large herds of Axis deer, blackbuck antelope, sika deer, red stags, elk, and every kind of ram or goat you could imagine. You never know what you will see as you drive around the Texas Hill Country but what you can expect is breathtaking beauty at every turn.

The winters are mild and generally there is one snowfall a year and one good ice freeze a year and it really only gets unbearably cold for a couple of weeks time throughout the fall and winter. The summers can be harsh and from about the end of June until the beginning of September, the heat can become unbearable.

The rivers provide great relief to the sweltering heat, but many years are drought ridden and the rivers can become so shallow that you can’t take part in activities on the river. Our first couples of years here, the rivers were magnificent!

The fall is rich with color as the maple leaves turn, the oaks leaves turn and the contrast of the green from the cedar makes it breathtaking at the peak times of the color. Lost Maples State park is a huge tourist attraction in the fall and people come from all over to witness the beauty it has to offer.

The people in the Hill County are different as well. You are commonly met with eye contact, courteous hellos and goodbyes and if you ever break down on the side of the road, don’t freak out when someone stops…They are just checking to see if you need a hand.

When we moved here, it could be 2:00am and when you pulled up to get gas at a gas station, they actually turned the pumps on for you without you going inside first. You didn’t have to worry about crime and it became a habit for us to not lock our house or our car.

A visit to a hardware store or grocery store can take over an hour longer than your expectation because of the chats and talks you have with clerks, managers or every day citizens here.

The pace is slower, kinder, and more genuine and that “Southern Hospitality” that is so often spoken of is actually witnessed in the Hill Country! There isn’t a lot of industry or career opportunities in these areas but overall, it’s just EASIER to live here.

I had my first epiphany about all of this one day while at a convenience store waiting to pay for some random item I was buying. The person in front of me was digging in their pocket for exact change for an item they were buying. I was still in my “big city” mode and was becoming frustrated with the time it was taking, even though it was mere minutes.

As the guy dug in his pocket to search for the change, I took a deep breath, rolled my eyes and thought to myself “COME ON!! HURRY UP!” and the guy looked at the store clerk and started to apologize.

He dug, brought out a quarter, apologized again, dug back in his pocket, apologized again, and came out with the couple of pennies he needed. He looked at the clerk and said…

“Ma’am, I am really sorry…I don’t men to take so long”

And the lady behind the counter said…

“Honey, you don’t have anything to worry about….If you are in the Hill Country and you are in a hurry, you are in the WRONG PLACE!”

And when she said that, I actually giggled out loud at how stupid I felt. THIS is what I moved here for and I had so quickly forgotten.

The guy turned and looked at me while I was giggling and I agreed with the clerk saying…

“She is sooo right, you have no need to apologize!”

The guy smiled at me and left and I have never forgotten that day!

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”
 ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

Well, as we pulled out of Bandera with our convoy of every possession we had in our lives, we started on the winding and rolling road of Hwy16 that leads to Medina. Five minutes, ten minutes…My God, how far out is this place?? There were fewer and fewer houses, larger and larger ranches and we were literally “in the middle of nowhere” when I finally saw his blinker come on. About 30 yards past the house was a sign that said “Medina County”….We were in Bandera alright, but just barely!

He turned into a short driveway in front of a house, right off of Hwy 16. It was a small house, stucco on the outside, tan and had a small covered area that was like a carport, completely covered in foliage. The front door of the house was about 20 yards from the highway. Across the highway was a large game fence with a huge open pasture and the Medina River. There were no houses on this large parcel of land that we could see and in the middle was one of those huge watering systems you see in hay fields.

A long piece of metal tubes, anchored at one end, the other end has a small wheel on it and along the tubes are sprinklers that water the fields. The river winded around the property, was lined with massive Cyprus trees and was absolutely beautiful. This was our new home!

Behind the house were four trailer houses which led up a hill from the highway. There was a large double wide trailer on the top of the hill, and as the landlord explained it, these were all his rental properties and he gave us the rundown on all our neighbors. Seemed like a perfect little place to call home!

We had a large portion of the front lot and there was a huge pecan tree in our front yard and a large oak tree next to our walkway in front of the house. If you sat on the front porch, you could see the highway, the big field with the sprinkler and the river… As a matter of fact, you could HEAR the river from the front porch.

The house was very small; 2 bedrooms, one bath, tiled floors, old carpet, a little kitchen with a breakfast bar and a stone fireplace that had some black soot on the front of it from many years of use.

The landlord explained that the house was a small store at one time and had been around since the early 1930’s. The master bedroom was really big but the guest bedroom was pretty tiny. The living area wasn’t real big but the house had a very “cozy” feel to it and Donna and I were tickled!

Once we paid the rent, established the rules from the landlord, were educated about where the closest store was, etc….we started to unpack and load everything we could into the house, and once we were unpacked, everyone that helped us move decided to go and check out the river.

It was explained to us by the landlord that our property went just up to the river but anything beyond that belonged to the big ranch that we could see and the property line was assigned by the fence. Down by the river the game fence ended and it was basically open to wander down the banks of the Medina River, so we did!

It was amazing! Peaceful, serene, crystal clear water, and right where our property stopped, there was a big deep hole to swim in… I went first!

As I jumped in the river, I could feel all the dirt and grime of the last ten years just washing away. There is something about water, something so healing and cleansing and it has an attractant that even the most fearful of people are drawn too.

If you think about it, even the most terrified of people with water still like to let the waves splash on their toes, or wade in the kiddy pool, or wander ankle deep into a lake or a river….there is just something about water that seems to draw people to it, and not simply because they are dehydrated….Maybe THIRST is a better word…Thirst for the cleansing of it, the freshness of it….A thirst to be close to what we are primarily made up of.

“In the world there is nothing more submissive and weak than water. Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong nothing can surpass it.”
~Lao Tzu~

Once we got moved in and settled, we had a party for all who helped us get moved up there with BBQ, beer and just great conversation and time spent with each other. Everyone got to explore different areas of our new “neighborhood” and Donna and I were just thrilled with this move, the location, the river…It was PERFECT!!

Then Monday came…

Sunday night, everyone left to go home and Donna and I were left to tend to the unpacking and organizing of our little home. We had come from a life with a TV in every room, two pagers each, one cell phone each, two computers, internet access, our home telephone, a convenience store just a block away, people on our neighborhood streets for their evening walks, burning houses, rescuing people from wreckage, high speed police chases, fights every day, rush, timelines, tasks, duties….to….NOTHING!!

Once we got everything unpacked, we realized our cell phones had no service, our pagers didn’t work, we didn’t have internet access, we had no cable hooked up yet and it was VERY quiet where we lived. The only thing we did have was an alarm clock radio that sat on our bedside table and it would get one station but even that station was fuzzy….However, the signal improved as cars would pass by on the highway.

 Donna and I, after unpacking, sat on the bed in our silent abode, trying to listen to our radio, and asked each other…

“Did we do the right thing?”

This was quite an adjustment and a huge shift from the life we were living before and fear started to set in. Funny how we can get so complacent in misery that we find comfort in drama, adversity, difficulty, struggle…It becomes part of you and when you separate from it, its scary….Even as dysfunctional as it was, out life had a sense of security.

We struggled for a few weeks with this new found peace and slow motion life but anytime we questioned our choices, we sat on the front porch and looked at the scenery in front of us. No way had we made the wrong choice…No way!

Donna and I spent many hours and most of many days exploring our new surroundings. Every single day we walked across the street over to the river and to what laid beyond that fence, and every day it was something even more spectacular that we would discover.

We would go fill up our vehicle with gas and then have an intention of getting lost as we drove around. Every mile we clocked on our vehicle was just more evidence of this being the right choice!

I had cashed in my retirement from the Sheriffs Department and made sure all of our bills were covered for a year, took us completely out of debt and we started over, from scratch, anew, and happy to be doing it.

I tried a few different jobs, I even tried going back into law enforcement for a small city outside of San Antonio but quickly found that my passion for the job was clearly gone. I was miserable!!

After much conflict with the chief over what she thought was ethical police work, I refused to comply with her desires to write traffic tickets to the elderly people that lived in our community for minor infractions of the law. The laws were created to manage people, not harass them and she could not grasp this distinction and asked for my resignation. I refused, let her terminate me, sold all of my police stuff and bought a canoe and eventually a kayak. We were still fine financially so we just “LIVED” for three or four months.

I went to work for a Rehab Center in Hunt Texas where I was a patient advocate and absolutely loved working with people who were overcoming their adversities and starting their life new and fresh. Other than the “addictions” they were suffering from, we were like minded people (and even like minded in some addictions). It was a great job but the limits put on the residents as well as the staff by the administration was so defeating to the purpose of grasping the magic of your life, I grew tired of it.

I only lasted at that facility for about 9 months. I look back at my time there and am thrilled at the people I was able to work with and some of the friendships I created that are still great friendships now. I stopped smoking cigarettes while I was there and really embraced all the positive things that came from my experience there and let the negative stuff just BE.

After my time there, I decided to take another break, bought another kayak and just became a river rat. I was kayaking and on the river every day for almost three months. I kayaked all the rivers in this area and even a few that were an hour or so away…I was becoming a river guru and I loved being on the water.

I was finding that my job hunt was very limited based on my experience. Although I had led large scale investigations, arrested thousands of people, managed riots and disaster responses, been in multitudes of life and death situations, trained many deputies, had 400 hours or more of courtroom testimony time, outside of law enforcement, those skills are not valued or necessary… I was VERY limited as to what my future would look like professionally and was coming to dead end after dead end.

I had met and become very good friends with a guy on the Medina River. He was a college student, majoring in History, at a University in Kerrville and was a really interesting guy and great friend. He had a shady past, was raised as the “white kid in a black neighborhood” in Florida but had traveled all over the United States and had even hiked the entire Appalachian Trail from end to end. He was very liberal minded, politically informed, educated about history and enjoyed much of the things I did…We hit it off and spent a lot of time together.

One day, when kayaking the river and having one of our many life discussions, I was expressing to him my concern about what my future held for me and he said…

“Brad, why don’t you go to college?”

What a great idea this was and it was in that moment that I realized again that my life and how it unfolded was up to me to create and the “rules” state you have to have an education to be a “professional” so I followed the rules and in January of 2003, I enrolled in Schreiner University to get my bachelors degree.

“Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army.”
~Edward Everett~

I hear people many times who state things like…

“I am not smart enough for school” or “I am too old to go back” or “School is just to long to take on, I have things to do” or “its too expensive” or “I have to work” or whatever the excuse might be.

One thing that every single person living in the United States can do is get an education. There are more ways to support yourself, live and manage your life as a student than you can imagine. Like anything else great, it comes with some risk and some struggle….But in all reality, what in life doesn’t?

After going back to college, I found that there is no better time than now, no better time than this instant and the only limitations we truly have are those we create for ourselves….So if those statements ring true for yiou or you have similar excuses…guess what…

Your right!!

Your right because YOU said so, not anyone else! It’s much easier to create an excuse than it is to create your greatness but when you limit yourself to a particular belief, you limit your experience the word has to offer you. One thing is for sure, you will definitely never know any of that as a truth unless you try….And many, they prefer to not try and then settle for what life “does” to them rather than making life work for them.

Let life happen TO you or make life happen FOR you…

Again, what do you choose?