I have gotten so many positive responses in regards to my experiences at my new job that I am sending out so I guess I will continue to share with you all… This one is a bit long but I have really tried to stick to the details that make this experience so powerful... I hope you enjoy it...
About 4 weeks ago, I had a man who came to my facility who was recovering from a stroke. He was about 82 or so. He and his family had been struggling with health complications with their family and it was a constant hardship for everyone. Not only was this man ill, his wife had an onset of dementia and has rapidly declined over just a few short months. She hardly recognizes the family and because of her dementia, she has crying spells… They both became residents of mine…
Without going into a lengthy detailed account, this gentleman was also getting ready to take on a surgery for a very aggressive cancer that would undoubtedly take his life. As a result, this man was forced to truly face his demise.
He had to make sure all of the necessary paperwork in regards to his will was in place, set up the funeral arrangements, deal with the funeral home and even pick out his own casket. As one could clearly understand, this man was extremely depressed. He has children and they were more than willing to help but this ole guy was set on making sure that they suffered as little as possible in managing these issues… A very nobel gesture in my opinion…
In our conversations, I also found out that this gentleman was a 61 year Mason. I explained to him that I was a fellow Brother and we discussed some of the things that we Masons like to discuss… ;)
Well, this guy was so very depressed and I was doing all I could to bring some comfort to this man and worked very hard to lighten the load of the family as much as I could.
Well, this guy was admitted into a room right near the exit where I left to go home from. So, every day, I would stop in and check on him, spend a few minutes with him and then I always made sure I stopped by his room in the evening on my way home to say goodnight and make sure he was OK and didn’t need anything.
The Cancer was very aggressive, as I mentioned above, and it was thought that he possibly had a brain tumor because he was experiencing some dizziness that was causing him to get sick and limited his ability not only to stand, but to sit up straight.
As every day passed, this man was getting more and more depressed and was barely eating and was sleeping almost all day. It pulled at my heart to see a Brother in such pain and suffering and I yearned for something to help him find comfort…It was definitely an uphill battle.
One day, while leaving the building to go home, I stopped in to say goodbye to him. It was a Friday and he was going out on Monday before I got to work for surgery to remove a tumor on his side. I wasn’t going to be able to see him off on Monday so I wanted to wish him luck and try to encourage him to stay strong. I could see that he was not feeling well and I just went in and sat down with him. I asked leading questions and then just let this guy speak… What unfolded would be something so completely unexpected; I am compelled to write this story…
As this guy talked, he leaned back in his bed, closed his eyes and began telling me about his wife of 60 years (remember, she has severe dementia at the time of this conversation), he went on…
“I remember when I met Flo… She was beautiful…She had long, auburn hair…Not red, but auburn. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She had the greatest smile and she just captured my heart.”
I commented on his children as I had met them through this ordeal and really enjoyed their time with me…They were very good people and were so attentive to their parents while they were at my facility. He went on…
"I have three great kids. My daughter, she followed in my footsteps. Graduated from college and went on to have a very successful career. She lives in Houston and I don’t see her as often as I would like, but I am so proud of her.”
He looked at me and said…
“Do you know she makes more in one year that I have made my whole life? She has done so well…I am so proud of her."
he continued....
"My boys, well, they are great boys….I have one that was in the military…he excelled and retired from the military as a pilot. Now he flies corporate jets and travels all over the world. He has done so well for himself, I am so proud of him!
My other boy…Well, he has always been the wayward son…Never quite settled down anywhere. He has been all over and done so many things…I am so proud of him for all the experiences he has had that I know I will never have… I have great kids!”
Well, we chatted for a little over an hour and before I left, I reached into my pocket and grapped a small stone I keep with me all the time ( http://www.gratitudestone.net/ “grateful stones” to see what these are) I explained to him what it was and also explained to him that it had brought me much luck over the years and I wanted to loan it to him to keep for good luck. I explained to him that there was one rule about the stone…he had to COME BACK and give it to me after his surgery!
Monday comes along and I hear that he made it through the surgery and was doing well. I went to the hospital to see him and he was in GREAT spirits…he was talking, eating…It was like a new man in that room…I was soooo pleased! He even thanked me for the “rock” and offered to give it back to me. I told him that wasn’t the rule…The rule was he had to bring it back to me! He agreed to hold on to it.
I left the hospital and went home…I get to work the next day and hear that he took a sudden decline and caught pneumonia… It was said he wasn’t doing well. I jumped in my truck and went down to see him and he was sick again…He was sleeping but when he heard my voice in the room, he opened his eyes, and reached out for me. I gripped his hand and moved closer and he said “Damn brad, I don’t know what happened…I was good yesterday and now I can hardly lift my head.” I told him to rest easy and he laid back down holding my hand. I spoke with the family as he drifted off to sleep and then eased my hand from his, rubbed his arm and went back to work.
I went back to check on him that night and he was still not doing well. He reached out for me again, I gave him a hug, told him to keep up the good fight and after a minute or two, I left and went home.
Get into work the next day and am hearing all kinds of stories about how bad he has gotten…he wasn’t going to live for the next few hours…he wasn’t going to live through the night…he was going to die any minute… Well, hating to hear things second or third party, I went to see for myself.
I get to the hospital and I see him in his bed, sitting up, unconscious and gasping for air. He had lost his color and was clammy and was clearly not well at all. The family was extremely distraught and asked ME if I wanted a minute to be alone witht heir father to say a final goodbye….Talk about overwhelmed with emotion!!
I told them that there was nothing I would say to him that they couldn’t hear… I leaned over, whispered in his ear, and told him…
“Brother, all is well…Everything is taken care of… You have done a great job…Your wife is doing well and is in good hands…Everyone was OK! I kissed his check and wished him Gods Speed. As I told him this, leaning over the bed, I felt his hand grasp my shirt ever so lightly… He was acknowledging I was there (or at least I think so)…
As I walked out of the room, I told the family that I would go back to the facility and make sure their Mom was OK. I also wanted to make sure that my staff was paying a little closer attention to Flo as I believe that 60 years of marriage to a person will create a “reaction” when the spouse dies and to please keep an eye on her.
I left the facility and went to take care of some other business and then made my way back to the hospital to let the family know that their Mom was OK. I went up to the room, knocked on the door and when I walked in, the entire family was around the bed and they had gone to get Flo to have her by his side when he passed… I was not expecting this!
As I walked in and saw Flo holding his hand and the family all gathered around, I just broke down crying… It was very emotional and so very touching. I apologized to them and said I was just coming up to give them the heads up about their Mom and was not expecting her to be there. I told the family that I was not meaning to intrude and they each walked up to me and hugged me and said “There is no intrusion Brad, you are like family”… And again, I was overwhelmed with emotion… I surely didn’t feel worthy of such a compliment. I told them that I wanted them to be together and excused myself from the room.
When I got to my truck, I felt a strange sensation…It was like I was weak and full of energy at the same time..Hard to explain..
Well, that was this last Friday night….Saturday the family called my cell phone and advised me that their Father had passed away about an hour after I left the Hospital. They asked if I would please come to the service for their father…I told them it would be my honor to be there!
So yesterday, I went to the service of Brother David T. to pay my respects. This is where it gets really AWESOME…
I went to a store here locally to try and find those little angel lapel pins that you buy and they didn’t have any. I was so disappointed as I wanted to give something to this family that showed my care and appreciation for their trust in me… Then it HIT ME!!
Their Father himself gave me the gift that would mean more to these kids of his than anything!!!
After paying my respects and meeting other family members, I took each one of the kids off to be alone. The first one was the daughter…
I explained to her about my last visit at my facility with her dad prior to his surgery and told her what he told me about his kids…How he was proud of her…The specifics that he told me that made him proud… When I was finished telling the daughter, I did this with each son… I could think of no greater gift to give these kids than for them to know that the Father they loved so very much passed from this world full of pride about his kids and his family…
David was taken to Austin and buried there…His wife is still in my facility and we are taking care of her and the three kids…Well, I think I might have just added a few more folks to my Christmas Card list…
Once again, I am humbled by the experience…. Gods Speed David!!
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